but they never knew that your lips were like melted chocolate and your smell was heaven in a bottle. all they knew was that you were a shining star, but I knew that, baby, you were a constellation. I connected your dots with a number two pencil and marveled at the masterpiece you were. there is no way to explain in a poetic way as to why my heart beats for you, but I can explain it like this.

I want to hold your cheeks in the palms of my hands and taste your lips the first thing I wake up. I want to show the world that you are the constellation I had discovered, and that you were way more significant than any Orion or Scorpio. the color of your cheeks is my favorite one out of the million shades of reds and pinks. the curve of your body the perfect equation on a graph, no decimals or radicals included.

but damn, if only I knew that constellations burn out and fade away after their discovery. if only I knew that the lights in your eyes were actually dimming and fading away, just so that I could save myself all this pain. I wish I knew that I was falling for a soon to be fallen empire. the color of your blush was lighter than the blood you coughed into your palm and the touches you left on my skin felt wilted and delicate like the beginnings of crackling rose petals. the tears I she'd were no longer from laughter but from mourning, and I just wished that you were never a cluster of stars in the galaxy that would burn out eventually.

I whispered thoughts into your ears and I felt your smile widen with every adjective I used to describe the harsh world we lived in. I would pause and then add a joke to the end of my secret, causing you to laugh and the cannula around your ears to move around slightly. I grinned my usual grin and felt a slight reminder as to why I loved you. Because you were not afraid of oblivion or not being remembered by all. Because you would rather be loved deeply than widely and that was the only moral that ever mattered to you.

You had colonies inside of your lungs and your thyroids threatened to consume your body with a killer disease. I was fine, in remission from osteosar-whatever, a killing type of cancer (but what kind of cancer isn't deadly anyways). Until I felt a wobble in my one knee and was rushed to get a scan.

I would rather end your eulogy on a happy note, considering that funerals are meant for the living and not the satisfy the dead. Which is why, I'll call this segment, "Our Epic, Yet Tragic, Love Story."

We loved a wonderful love. A love Romeo and Juliet would have died for (which they did). A kind of love so genuine and (almost) innocent that the stars would have come down to attend our wedding. I just wish that we had more time to love. To fall for each other more and more until we found ourselves swimming through space, because we would never stop falling for each other. I never could stop looking at you (yes I am writing this eulogy as if you were here right now baek, because no one else would be able to bear my sappy love for you). And I know that you'll never stop laughing at my jokes and at me in general. I wish that our small infinity was bigger, even if that meant hurting more when you left, because my god, byun baekhyun, it would be an honor to have my heart broken by you.

I just wish it was actually me reading this at your funeral. And I guess this is the part where I say, with all of my heart, that I love you.


A/n: a eulogy Park chanyeol wrote for byun baekhyun on his own hospital bed, right before the monitor flat lined and a flood of nurses came into the room.

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By this time, Byun Baekhyun was beyond sane. He whispered to himself at night, and prayed to every single damn God that existed that Park Chanyeol could be cured, or that it was him instead of a playful giant who could touch the heavens if he tried. Byun Baekhyun was speechless when mid depressed thought, he heard the pause between the monitor, but heard a shrill cry instead of the usual quarter note. He felt his heart wilt and the butterflies in his stomach were dead. His cracked lips turned into a sad smile and he looked up at the cross above Park Chanyeols head. "I hope you never have to suffer like that ever again." He didn't even notice the shaking of his shoulders until he opened his eyes and found himself staring up at a startled Park Chanyeol. Not a second passed when the giant felt lips pressed against his harder than ever before. "I missed you."