Siebzehn

Sunlight streamed into the large, lonely room, and I snuggled comfortably into the soft mattress as I felt the warm sunshine tenderly caress my body. In my subconscious state of mind as I lay half-asleep on the bed, I could tell that morning had arrived, but unwilling to break the precious feeling of peacefulness, I chose to keep myself in a state of sleep and willed myself to fall back in dreams.

“M-Mother.”

I furrowed my eyebrows together as a husky, croaked voice whimpered from beside me, and still believing that I was asleep, I figured that it was probably just some random voice from my dreams.

“Don’t leave me.”

The next sentence that was spoken was so broken and sad that I suddenly realised that it was in fact not from my dreams, and forcing myself awake, I opened my eyes only to realise that Jongin was sleeping right next to me, his arms draped around my body and his face positioned closely around my neck as every haggard breath he took left a wet tingling sensation on the nape of my neck.

It was then that I remembered the events yesterday night, and my body immediately tensed up at the close and intimate position the two of us were placed in as I grimaced and attempted to wriggle out of his embrace. But the more I struggled to get away, the more Jongin tightened his grip on me, and I was on the verge of waking him up when he spoke again.  

“D-Don’t turn away from me, please.”

As the hurt in his tone struck me once again, I stopped struggling and turned my head around to look at Jongin’s sleeping face. Yet what I saw when my eyes settled on his face was not the usual dominant and aggressive adult boss of mine that I was familiar with, but a strangely scared little boy who seemed afraid of losing something…or someone.

“M-Mother.”

*He must be having a bad dream.* Despite my hatred and disgust towards the said guy, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of sympathy stir up from within the depths of my heart, and letting out a sigh, I continued to lay there under Jongin’s arms as I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep again so I could forget the feeling of his skin touching mine.

And that was when I felt a pair of plump lips planting themselves on my neck, and my eyes widened as I could them gently on my skin.

Shrieking, I immediately pushed Jongin away from me, and I glared at Jongin who smirked at me, fully awake and wiping the bottom part of his lips in a flirtatious manner.

“What are you doing!?” My usually low and composed tone was high-pitched and aggravated, “Were you awake this whole time?”

“What? When you tried to kiss me?” Jongin gave me a smug look, “Or when you stared at my face because you were so attracted towards me?”

“What? I never did that!” I protested, and any sense of sympathy and pity I felt for this guy immediately vanished as the usual cocky, ignorant and assertive Jongin was back. Jongin didn’t seem too affected by my protest as all he did was shrug his shoulders before he climbed out of the bed and made his way towards the door.

“Nari,” Jongin spoke as he halted before the door, “Come downstairs when you’re ready. I need to talk to you about something.”

“Just talk about it here-“

But before I could even finish my sentence, Jongin had walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving me just sitting there on the bed, confused, angry and dishevelled.

As Nari descended down the stairs, Jongin thought she looked like a goddess. Despite her messy bed hair and casual clothes, the distant and confused expression that lightly shadowed her otherwise emotionless face, and her thin small build hidden beneath the oversized jumpers she always wore gave Nari a fragile and precious quality; a quality that made Jongin’s heart flutter.

Flutter in a way that made him desire to bully her. To torture her. To control her in his palm and watch her be his perfect little doll.

At first, Jongin thought this sense of urge and desire would die down after lavishing time with her every day. After all, with all the other girls he liked before, he got tired of them after a few weeks, the longest being a month. But Yoo Nari was different. The more time he spent with her and the more time she occupied his thoughts, the more he craved for the girl.

Maybe it was the hidden power beneath her lazy attitude that attracted him, maybe it was because of the feeling of thrill from the challenge of chasing after someone who rejected him constantly, maybe it was just because she fitted so perfectly in his ideals of what a girl should be like, but as the said girl walked up to him and sat down opposite to him on the couch, Jongin felt his heart burn with fire.

Jongin knew that the fire burning within him wasn’t love. He knew that the fire burning within him wasn’t attraction. But it was a sense of overwhelming, vehement passion that scorched his insides every time he looked into her eyes.

After Nari had ran away from under his wings and over to Sehun the past week, Jongin realised how lonely he was, and how much more he craved for her. Every time he went back to the house, all that greeted him was complete silence. Every time he entered her empty room, the faint smell of lemons, of her scent that lingered around the room would tauntingly remind him that she was with another guy.

That she had abandoned him like his mother.

She had left him alone in this lonely world, and that was something absolutely and utterly unacceptable for Jongin.

He was abandoned once, shame on his mother. She shouldn’t had left him to survive in the cruel, adult world alone at such a young age. But to be abandoned twice, shame on him. He would not make the same mistake of allowing someone to leave him in the dust.

No. He would do whatever it takes to grab onto them desperately. Even if it meant that they would hate him, then so be it. It was better to be hated then to be abandoned.

It was precisely then, with these thoughts spinning round and round in Jongin’s head that he knew that he simply could not bear the thought of her leaving his side. But with their current situation and relationship status, it would be impossible for her to remain with him forever. Henceforth, after a whole long week of thinking and planning, Jongin had come up with the perfect plan.

“Nari,” Jongin gave Nari a business-like smile as he crossed his legs and placed his