Sechzehn

“Yah! Yoo Nari! Are you out of your mind? Break up?”

My back was facing Sehun as I grabbed my bag and coat from the bedroom, preparing to leave Sehun for good. Even if I didn’t want to, even if my heart hurt like hell as Sehun’s broken, confused tone pierced through my cold facade, what else could I do?

“I’m leaving, Sehun.” Surprisingly, my tone came out just as cold as how my heart was feeling, “I realized that this was all just a mistake.”

“What mistake?” Sehun’s voice was rising with each word, “It’s been a day since we got together Nari. A day. Aren’t you being ridiculous?”

“Well,” I swirled around and faced Sehun with the most emotionless front I could put on in my current state, “I thought it over seriously yesterday night. I don’t love you, Sehun. I only see you as an older brother.”

Sehun’s mouth opened and closed as he stood before me. Eyebrows furrowed, shoulders heaving up and down from his heavy panting and a pair of sincere eyes as they searched mine, Sehun looked like he was about to cry.

“It’s that bastard Kim Jongin, isn’t it?” Sehun finally spoke, his voice shaking “He’s getting you to do all this. I can see it in your eyes, you’re lying.”

“I’m not.” I hardened my eyes and my already rigid expression turned icy, “I haven’t spoken to Jongin at all. I just don’t love you.”

Sehun’s eyes twitched before he took one big stride towards me and stared me in the eye, his eyes flicking back and forth, as if he was trying to think of a reason why I would do this.

“Yoo Nari.” Sehun’s tone was desperate, “Don’t leave me. Please, I beg of you.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I relaxed my tense shoulders as I suddenly hugged Sehun around the waist. Sehun froze at my action, and I knew that hope burned in his heart as he quickly wrapped his own arms around my waist.

“Nari-“

“-Sehun ah.” I spoke before Sehun could say anything more, “You’re my precious older brother.”

There was a moment of pure silence as Sehun’s body tensed up. I let out a sigh as I pulled apart from him and gave him a sweet smile.

“So please don’t take my big brother away from me, alright?” The cute tone in my voice made even me feel disgusted, and as a flash of emotions passed through Sehun’s hurt face, I didn’t dare to imagine how Sehun must be feeling right now.

He must be breaking up into pieces inside. After all that happiness and trust the two of us had finally achieved, here I was, cruelly tearing our dreams apart.

I was a monster. Jongin was a monster. This whole situation was nothing but a stupid monster to the both of us.

“Well then,” I quickly turned my face away from Sehun as I slung my bag over my shoulders, making sure that Sehun wouldn’t see the tears that was accumulating in my eyes, “I’ll be leaving now.”

Step. Step. Step.

Heaving a silent sigh, I held my head high and began walking in slow steps towards the apartment door.

Step. Step. Step.

As I walked, I suddenly wished that Sehun would run up to me and prevent me from leaving.

Step. Step. Step.

I wanted Sehun to hug me from behind and rest his nose on the crook of my neck. To tighten his arms around my waist and to kiss my cheeks gently.

Step. Step. Step.

 I wanted Sehun to grab onto me, and pull me out of this disgusting mess.

Step. Step. Step.

But as I walked further and further away, all I could feel was emptiness as no hand grabbed my wrist. No voice called to stop me, and no warmth enveloped my back.

Step. Step. Step.

I was walking towards death, and no one was stopping me from doing so.

Step.

As my feet stopped before the door, I looked up into the ceiling and allowed my tears to fall. Turning the handle with numb hands, I pushed it and walked out of the apartment.

“Nari.”

An immense sense of hatred filled my heart as I quickly wiped my tears away and turned to face Jongin, who leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets. Jongin was there, waiting for me with a smirk on his face as he strode over to me and used his filthy fingers to brush any remaining tears away.

“It’s okay, Nari.” Jongin said.

*It’s not okay!* I screamed inside my mind, but I kept silent outside as I clenched my fists and endured the feeling of disgust as Jongin brushed his fingers against my cheeks.

“You’ll forget him soon, Nari.” Jongin said again.

*I’ll never forget him.* Was my cold, broken, inner reply.

“Let’s go, Nari. I’ll treat you well. I’ll mend your wounds.”

*But you’re the one who broke me.*

“Nari, why aren’t you speaking?”

*Because I hate you.*

“Nari, don’t be mad at me. I’m just doing what’s best for you, you never loved Oh Sehun, it was just some stupid affection you had for an older brother.”

*No, Kim Jongin.* I kept my gaze fixated straight ahead as Jongin placed his hand on the small of my back and began steering me over to his posh, expensive, branded car. *You’re wrong…*

*…I love him.*

“Sir, how many people would be dining here today?”

I glanced around the fancy restaurant with distaste as a skinny girl in a smart waitress uniform gave the two of us a bow.

“Just the two of us.” Jongin didn’t seem to be in a particular good mood either as he planted his hands in his pockets. The waitress seemed a bit scared as she nodded her head and quickly ushered us to our seats beside the wall-sized windows which overlooked a sea beautiful vie