“Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face - I know it's an impossibility, but I cannot help myself.”

— Nicholas Spark.

His breath hitched again.

Cold Steel flashed before his eyes. Cold words. Cut deeper, they were cutting in deeper. Cruel laughter floated in the air. Eyes ... Brown eyes, fading.

His eyelids twitched.

Blood was splattered everywhere, soaking the earth crimson. Screams littering the air, and cold eyes piercing through the howling wind. Screaming, a beautiful voice screaming, as the lady in red looked at her with hungry eyes, cruel eyes, soulless eyes. Steel to match the listless stare of her own eyes, slicing through skin, steel spilling over with red, slicing through lives, blood that litters the earth.

His lips parted slightly.

Hyosung!

Kikwang’s eyes opened with a start, his heart beating frantically against his chest. Panting and in daze, he studied the dim settings of his surrounding; where was he? His head throbbed as he tried to recall what happened. Looking down, he saw multiples tubes and wires attached on him. What …?

A blast of pain travelled throughout his entire body when he tried to sit up, and he bit his lips to stop himself from screaming. What the hell happened? He groaned when the throbbing in his head got worse, trying to remember everything. Or anything at all.

“H-Hyung, you’re up!” His eyes diverted to a form that suddenly sprang out beside him. Dongwoon?

“What … happened?” His voice strained; even talking hurt.

“Talk later. Doctor, now.” Dongwoon cut him off and pressed the emergency button.

Doctor and nurses burst in within seconds, and he was examined thoroughly for the next hour. He had a punctured lung, torn muscles, wounded leg from bullet shot and a dozen other bruises and cuts. His head was wrapped with white bandage too. All the while numerous tests were performed, flashes of memories slowly flooded into his head and he was trembling badly by the time everything set in.

“Hyosung? Daehyun?” He grabbed one of the nurses’ wrist, desperate for an answer. She looked at him questioningly, agitating him by the moment so he squeezed harder causing a yelp from her. “Where are they?”

“Mr Lee, please let her go.” The doctor calmed him, slowly easing his grip off the nurse, who then scurried away immediately in fear. He couldn’t help it, he needed to know. He was desperate, and it helped him to forget the pain he felt for moment.

“It’s okay, doctor. I’ll take it from here.” Dongwoon offered as the examination was done and helped Kikwang into a wheel-chair. Kikwang groaned in pain as every movement was excruciating. Bending down, Dongwoon covered him with a blanket, a sullen expression on his face as both gazes met.

“Paparazzi are hoarding outside since day one, waiting for any news from you. We’ll just evade them for now, but brace it for a moment all right?” Dongwoon gave him a slight smile before he wheeled Kikwang back towards the door. He grabbed Dongwoon’s arm, stopping them a few feet away.

“They are okay … right?” Kikwang asked again, tightening his grip on Dongwoon’s arm. There was a long pause and Kikwang was too afraid to make even a slight movement, dreading for his answer. A hard squeeze on the shoulder was Dongwoon’s only reply, and they continued towards the door.

In an instance, flashes of camera blinded his vision and everything was hectic; bodyguards had to push the journalists and reporters alike away from them as they were bombarded with questions. Kikwang lowered his gaze and squeezed his eyes tight, his head started to throb from the sudden loud noises. God, let me out of here. Let me out of here!

“Hey, you are safe now.” Dongwoon whispered in his ears, shaking his shoulder softly. The shouting was barely audible now, so he raised his lids slowly and was welcome with whites; The walls, though painted bleach white, looked to him as if they were a dreary gray. The flowers in the nurses' station, sent to a patient already discharged, looked to be quickly dying.

Dongwoon wheeled him forward and they reached a room around the corner, and he stopped breathing as soon as he saw them through the glass window. Hyosung. Daehyun. Lying side by side in the hospital beds, they looked like they were merely sleeping but the sight of respirator sticking out of their mouth and the tubes running from their bodies wrenched the thought away. They are hurt.

Their heart monitors were mimicking their slow heartbeats; the rise and fall of their chest weirdly eased his troubled thoughts away. Bruised faces held no expression, no fear and for a moment Kikwang felt pride in knowing someone so strong.

“They are both in a coma.” Dongwoon finally croaked, instantly plummeting his heart beat to a new level. With blind force, Kikwang pushed the door open and wheeled himself closer to Hyosung. Hands itching for some physical contact, he laid his hand on hers and the warm contact crawled up his arm and brought an euphoric sensation back to him. She is alive.

“She was heavily sedated, hyung. She almost … died.” Pain flooded his heart at Dongwoon’s last word. Died. He was starting to remember now, with blurred images jumping in and out of his memory. “The sedative was in her blood system for too long.. They’ve pumped everything out but it may take her a while to wake up.”

“Daehyun?” He gripped Hyosung’s hand harder; another wave of extreme fear hit him, dreading for the answer. He slowly dragged his gaze away from Hyosung to Dongwoon whom avoided his gaze, deep painful expression on his face.

His heart broke a little more when he gazed at Daehyun, being in the exact state as Hyosung, and he immediately reached for his hands. It was cold.  

“His kidneys are failing.” Dongwoon stated, tears in his voice. Kikwang knew why. “We are still waiting for donors.”

“What about us?”

“Our bloods doesn’t match, hyung. Hyosung does but we couldn’t risk it, she’s still too weak.” Dongwoon sighed as he slide further into the sofa.

“How long was I out?”

“Around five days. For one moment there, we thought …” Dongwoon paused, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “You lost so much blood from the gun wound, hyung.”

Kikwang shut his own eyes and held on to Daehyun’s. All the things that happened; these were his fault. Memories flitted through his eyes; big brown eyes, gun shots, blood. His memories became progressively clear as more sound of gun shots accompanied in almost every image afterwards. Sakura’s face flashed in front of his vision.

“Sakura?”

“She is dead. Shot herself once we arrived there and …”

“Good. She deserves it.” He cut Dongwoon short. Couldn’t stand hearing her name being mentioned ever again. So much life had been stirred from this, he just wanted it to stop. No more. A sacrifice had already been made, hearts had already been broken—more times than he cared to count. Why take his last tie to reality away?

Looking at them, he so wished it were him; he would gladly take their places. It killed him, to even be into the room. To look at them, and knew that there wasn’t a thing he could do for them.

Everything was chaotic instantly once Dongwoon pressed the emergency button; the room was filled with doctor and nurses, trying to make everything right. But they weren’t doing the right thing – the beeping sound prolonged for what seemed like an eternity.

Kikwang remained inert after Dongwoon wheeled him away; he realized what had happened before he actually knew. He immediately glanced through the thin glass to watch as Daehyun’s chest lay still with the breath that never came. The panic was so sudden and complete he couldn't move.

The intense pain in his eyes startled him momentarily, and slowly he bent until he had his face pressed into his palms. Quickly, with efficiency, the tears cascaded down his nose and soaked his face. No matter how tightly he clamped his eyes shut they still came. His head started to throb painfully as he still remained inert, unable to think anything other than no. The truth was inexorable but he protested it, ill with sudden understanding that nothing would ever be right again.

Everything happened so fast and when the doctor came out, a mixture of disappointment and sadness plastered on his face. Kikwang couldn’t comprehend his explanation just yet. All he heard was mutters of ‘sorry’ and ‘My condolences for your lost’. Dongwoon knees gave away right then.

Kikwang wheeled himself into the emergency room and grabbed Daehyun’s small fingers.

He is cold.

He was never cold, never, no matter what happened he was warm. His smile could warm you to the soul. He wasn't smiling now, he never would again. His face was still intact, he would have liked that. His face was what made him.

Kikwang reached out a hand and moved a few strands of hair from Daehyun’s face. Kikwang wiped away a lone tear at the corner of his little pair of closed eyes, and felt his own b with tears. His lips were parted, a blue tinge lingering upon them; His teeth were always white, perfect. His hair was slack now, framing his head where it lay on the bed, no longer sticking out defiantly in every direction, now flat.

Kikwang felt his throat burn. He wanted to scream. This couldn't be real. He wasn't supposed to die, Daehyun was not supposed to die. His vision blurred as more tears filled his eyes.

This could not be real, it was a night mare. Any moment now Daehyun would shake him until he woke up and tell him to play hide and seek. Kikwang's body began to shook, tears cascading from his eyes, he shock so hard he gasped for breath, unable to stop the pain and anguish from finally finding release. He opened his eyes.

"I'm sorry, our precious boy." He croaked. "It should not have been you. It never should have been you. It should be hyung. It should be me."

An innocent beautiful life was taken that day, and things would never be the same.

Never.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Holy cow, I haven't been updating this for months. Oh my goodness guys, I am so sorry! Don't hate me, please. I beg you, don't. I miss you guys, really. I miss writing angsty fic. Now that I'm all for writing fluffs, reverting back to being all angry and upset is so hard. *cries.

And I did warn you (months ago, I know. Some of you might have forgotten. I'm sorry again :(  ) that there'll be a character's death, and it just so happens I made Daehyun die. I know, I'm so ruthless. Sorry. You hate me right? Please don't. Pleaseee. I just need an event that would completely turn their lives upside down, and this seems like a good excuse to. Right? No? *evades from rock being thrown at me.

Just heads up, upcoming chapters will be depressing.

Yes, depressing. I am a depressing person. God help me.

Anyway, SHAMELESS ADVERTISING CORNER — I wrote a new fic! Collection of one shots though, of my OTP forever, Kikwang and Hyosung as usual. Check it out if you want to. If you want to, I repeat.

♦ Signs of Destiny ♦

All right, enjoy guys! Thank you for reading!

<3