— Christina Aguilera's Hurt.

 

 

 

 

---

 

“With that, you need to learn how to distinguish genuine findings from implausible and suspect claims.” Professor Hiro pointed out to Hyosung as they skim through another chapter of the topic she was revising on. With finals just around the corner, Hyosung had been spending more times after class with her professors, asking them questions she was uncertain about.

 

 

“Oh, is that it? No wonder I couldn’t relate A to B. Hmmm, what about ....” Before she could ask further, they were disrupted by the fairly loud growl from her tummy – loud enough for Professor Hiro to hear it too obviously, when he chuckled at her.

 

 

“I’m sorry ...” She bowed her head in shame, mentally knocking herself in the head. Remind her to set the alarm early tomorrow. She woke up late, again, today and didn't even had the time to eat breakfast. Thank god they prepared one in Daehyun's class. To top that, not having any sleeps lately wasn't helping either. She hadn't been sleeping for two days in a row now.

 

 

“I think we’re done for today. You can come find me again tomorrow, Hyosung. Now go and have your late lunch. Haven’t I told you it is a bad habit to eat late?” Professor Hiro closed his book and stared knowingly at her before she could protest. She sighed and nodded in defeat. She thanked him and checked the time on her watch.

 

 

“Oh snap!” She exclaimed in utter horror. She was supposed to fetch Daehyun half an hour ago! She checked her phone and true enough – almost two dozen miss calls from Miss Nanako. She groaned. It was the fifth time this week it happened, and Daehyun was far from happy with her for being late. She couldn’t help it with all these troubling thoughts filled in her head; Sakura stalking them, probably watching her somewhere right now from afar. 

 

 

And there was Kikwang; her heart still wrench whenever she thought of what he told her. She should have expected it, seeing the way he treated her back in Korea. It was one of the reasons why she left him in the first place – she came across a lot of messages from women in his phone, acting all chummy. Yes it was months ago but still, it didn’t ease the pain one bit knowing that he actually slept with one of them. When he was still dating her. How could he?

 

 

She shook her head at the thought and quickly gathered her speed as she dashed to his class, almost tripping herself down the stairs while at it. Now isn’t the best time to think about this, stupid. Daehyun will probably kill you once you are there, she mentally scolded herself.

 

 

Only to find out he was gone.

 

 

“I went inside to fetch his lunchbox, and he was gone when I came out. I-I searched for him all over, and I couldn’t find him. I-I’m sorry, Miss J-Jeon. I’m r-really so-sorry!” Miss Nanako blubbered, tears stained her cheeks as she spoke.

 

 

“Calm down, Miss Nanako. Let’s go search for him again, shall we?” Hyosung said as she took Nanako’s hand firmly, surprising herself for sounding so calm despite the fact that her brother was missing. Her heart was actually thundering so hard against her chest as they took off separate ways searching for him. Sakura’s name flashed about in her head suddenly, and she stopped in her tracks. Oh dear god, please don’t let her harm my brother. Please ...

 

 

Two hours later, the sun was slowly setting below the horizon with the sky painted red, but he was still nowhere to be found. She searched up and down for him, asking every single person she bumped into, but no one seemed to have seen him anywhere. She stopped and flopped down to the floor as her tears took over; she was tired, both emotionally and physically, and her stress and fears being unleashed all in one run of countless tears staining her cheeks.

 

 

“Daehyunnie! Where are you?” She sobbed and limped as her knees started to throb painfully from the fall she took at the stairs just a while ago. She stopped when her legs couldn’t take her any further as it started to swell up with bluish bruise painted on her skin. She flopped down to the floor again, breathing hard in between sobs, clutching to her heart. It hurt.

 

 

Everything hurt. From what happened between her and Kikwang, and now this. What had she done in the past to deserve all this? Why was all this happening to her? Hadn’t she suffered enough? 

 

 

 

“Hyosung!”

“Noona!” 

 

 

 

Echo of voices startled her and she could barely made out those figures that was approaching her with her vision blurred by her tears, but she knew who it was. Jonghoon knelt next to her and cupped her cheeks, making sure their eyes met. She intended to tell him but all she managed was a strangled sobs. Jonghoon cradled her to him, but she quickly pushed him away.

 

 

“D-Daehyun, I need to find D-Daehyun. Let go of me!” She winced when she tried to stand up. Her knees were killing her, but she didn’t care. She needed to find Daehyun fast before the night approached. Daehyun was afraid of the dark, and she didn’t even want to think what would happen to him in the dark. She tried standing up again but her injury failed her and she fell back to the ground, back into his ready arms.

 

 

“Hey, stop. Shhh, stop Hyosung. We’ll search for him. You just stay here, all right?” He calmed her but she wasn’t buying it. No, not when her brother was out there somewhere, alone. She said nothing but struggled to get away from him but he tightened his grip on her, placing her firmly back on the ground.

 

 

“Sit down, Hyosung. The boys are out there searching for him, all right?” He assured her, hugging her to him as she let out another strangled cry and gripped his shirt for support when it was too much to bear. She felt herself being lifted off the ground the next second, Jonghoon’s strong arms cradled her close to him and just for that moment she felt herself calming down despite the pain getting unbearable by the minute.

 

 

Involuntarily, she slipped into the darkness as fatigue took over and the last thing she heard was Jonghoon saying ‘everything will be okay’.

 

 

 

 

---

 

They found Daehyun an hour later, thoroughly enjoying the ice-cream in his hand all alone at the playground. They were just one call away from calling the police but thankfully they didn’t. Minhwan held Daehyun in his arms as they all took turns to kiss his hair, relief washed all over them to find him unharmed. They dismissed Miss Nanako and assured her it wasn’t her fault after she kept on begging for forgiveness, crying and all.

 

 

“DaeDae, where have you been? Are you okay?” Jonghoon asked as they made their way home, with Hyosung cradled on his back. She fell asleep not long after they found him, and hadn’t regained conscious since. She must have been very tired, he thought.

 

 

“Daehyun okay, hyung. Hyung want?” He offered Jonghoon the almost melting ice-cream in his hand, droplets of it fell on Minhwan’s shirt.

 

 

“DaeDae, you can’t just go off missing like that. You know how worried we were?” He said again as he adjusted Hyosung’s light body on his back, making sure he didn’t wake her up.

 

 

“Pretty noona call Daehyun so Daehyun follow. Pretty noona said Daehyun must play hide and seek from Hyosung-noona, so Daehyun play! Daehyun saw Hyosung-noona, but Daehyun run. It was fun! And then pretty noona buy Daehyun candy and ice-cream, and pretty noona bring Daehyun here then pretty noona gone.” Daehyun cupped Minhwan’s face with his tiny fingers and talk with excitement.

 

 

“Pretty noona?” Jonghoon stopped in his track, so was the rest of them. Pretty noona? It can’t be ... “Minhwan, take my wallet out. Okay, now check that compartment. Yes, that one and take that cutting out. Show that to him. DaeDae, is this the pretty noona?”

 

 

“Uhuh! Pretty noona said she’ll come and play with Daehyun again!” He squealed and Jonghoon could see the fear in all of their eyes. Sakura. He eyed all of them and shook his head, warning them not to utter a single word. He didn’t want to give any fright to Daehyun for it. They continued towards their house in silent except Daehyun, who was singing to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star cheerfully. At least he brightened up the somber mood a bit.

 

 

Jonghoon tucked Hyosung in bed once they arrived home, when he noticed her bleeding knees. He stared at it sadly; this was all his fault, if it wasn’t for Sakura, none of this will ever happen. He sighed and went to get the first aid kit. Sitting at the edge of her bed, he slowly swiped the cut on her knees, getting more upset when he realized the bruises had turn dark bluish. 

 

 

“I’m so sorry, princess.” He whispered, his thumb smoothed over her cheeks, a feeling of remorse washed all over him again. He was angry, both at himself and Sakura, for bringing pain to Hyosung. She didn’t deserve all this, not one bit. He needed to end this , fast. He kissed her forehead softly before he made his way out, with only one thought in mind. He needed to face Sakura.

 

 

“I’ll sleep here tonight, just in case. You guys can go back now.” He said. The boys just nodded tiredly left. Jonghoon switched off all the lights (except the small light near to Daehyun’s room, since he was afraid of the dark) and headed to the balcony. He was trying to figure out how to get in touch with her, seeing that he didn’t have any clue where she lived. Just then, his phone blared and he picked up at the next ring.

 

 

 

“Hello?”

“It was fun, wasn’t it?”

 

 

 

His body tensed. As expected, it was Sakura. How come he wasn’t surprise that she got his number? He should’ve known better. He gritted his teeth when her laughter pierced through the speaker.

 

 

 

“What the is wrong with you?!”

“This is only the beginning, sweetheart.”

“Stay the away from them!”

“Stop screaming into my ears. Anyway, I told you ... I can’t promise that. It was fun playing with her and seeing her crumbled like that was really fun too! No wonder you like her. She is very pretty too, but I think I’m prettier. Ne?”

“You ing maniac! If you ever lay a finger on either one of them again, I ...”

“What? You’ll kill me? As if you have the guts to, honey.”

“I swear, I would.”

“Oh, someone help me. Anyway, if you want her safe, you know what you should do. Come back to me, and everything will be all right.”

“ ......”

“Don’t stop talking, please. I need to hear your voice, babe.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll get back to you.”

“ ...... ”

“Answer quick before I change my mind.”

“You’re not serious, aren’t you? As much as I want to believe it, you think I’ll buy that?”

“I am. Let’s meet. Now.”

“Liar. I don’t believe you!”

“Remember that place we used to date at? I’ll meet you there now. If you aren’t there in an hour, then I’ll consider you won’t take my offer.”

 

 

And he hung up.

 

 

 

 

---

 

Hyosung stood at the university entrance, constantly checking her watch and eyes wandered around. Where is Jonghoon? She tapped her foot impatiently and winced when she felt sharp pain on her knees. It had been exactly two weeks since that day when she took the fall, and her knees were yet to be healed. Why was she always so careless? She was thankful it was finally summer holiday, which also meant no classes for Daehyun. She on the other hand, had to attend the committee meeting for the upcoming Summer Solstice dance next week.

 

 

She was wondering what took Jonghoon so long to fetch his guitar in the music room when a red Porsche swerved from the road and parked right in front of her, startling herself. No one came out for the next minute though, so she ignored whoever was in the car and hobbled herself to a nearby bench. Her knees were slowly getting too painful.

 

 

“Hyosung ...”

 

 

That voice. She stopped in her track but didn’t dare to turn her back around, her heart beat accelerated in an instant. 

 

 

“Hyo ...” He called out again in desperation and a tinge of sadness in his voice.

 

 

She thought of keep walking on, but the other part of her wanted her to stay and confront him. Yes, I should confront him. No more running, stupid. How long are you going to keep on running? She scowled at herself. She took a deep breath and slowly turned to his direction, and was surprised when he was only mere inches away from her, and their eyes met despite the dark glasses he was wearing.

 

“H-hi ...”

 

 

 

---

It was cool at the hill top despite the sun blaring down on them, and they just sat there quietly, neither made any move to speak up nor look at each other. And he thought silence in the car was already a torture, but this was worse. He had so much to say yet he didn’t know how to break the awkwardness between them. He heard her sigh then, and he knew he should make his move.

 

 

“The weather i-is nice, don’t you think?” He spoke up. Weather? You haven’t seen her for two weeks and you’re talking about the weather? Nice move, idiot.

 

 

“Hmmm.” He swore he saw her lips curled up for a second before she looked elsewhere. And it was silence again. He raked his hair in frustration. This wasn’t what he had in mind.

 

 

"What happened to your knees?" He tried to make a conversation, and he saw her body tensed suddenly.

 

 

"I fell down, nothing big. Just same old clumsy me." She quickly reply and diverted her gaze elsewhere. Strange.

 

 

“Hyosung, I-I’m so ...” Suddenly, he felt her soft finger on his lips and he looked up to see her smiling sadly at him. She shook her head.

 

“No, don’t be because ... I’m sorry.” She said quietly to him, shooting him an apologetic look. What was she talking about? Before he could open up his mouth to protest, she actually grabbed his mouth and shut it once again. “Listen to me first.” She said firmly. He nodded slowly.

 

 

“I ... I don’t even know where to start.” She hesitated for a while, but decided to say it anyway. “I’m not going to say what you did wasn’t wrong because it was, and it does hurt Kikwang. It hurts so much and ... I’m sorry but I even think of ending this all together. I did.” Her voice was low, and it actually hurt him hearing her said that. It was like a stab to his heart. Ending this all together ... but he knew he didn’t deserve to be angry, because he was at fault.

 

 

“But then again, this thing happened way back when we were in Korea. It was in the past, and that was when I realized I can’t change it. I can’t control what had happened ... and neither do you.” She said in all honesty, tears brimmed around her eyes. He himself was trying hard to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall.  He watched as her lips trembled to go on, and one tear rolled down her cheek, so he smoothed it away. He closed the gap between them and cupped her face, their eyes locked. 

 

 

“I forgive you.” 

 

 

The three simple words were enough to break his heart upon hearing it on her lips. He quickly took her in his embrace and hugged her close and felt like not letting go, chanting the word of ‘I'm sorry’ in her ears over and over again. Why was she ever so forgiving to him? No matter how badly he treated her, she would always always have the heart to forgive him. He must had save the world in his previous life to deserve a woman like her to still him despite the things he did. He must had, or the god must had gone crazy to pair her up with him when she deserved so much better.

 

 

He felt her palms on his chest as she pulled away and he looked at her. That expression she put on was unreadable and he felt a sense of déjàvu all over again. His heart started to race once again, and this time he suddenly felt uneasy. He searched her eyes but all he got was sadness as it welled up with tears again. He got confused. Why?

 

 

“I need to go home now.” She cupped his cheeks and he just complied, even if he had questions to ask and he felt like they should spend more time together. Again, they drove in silence all the way to her house, her hand never leaving his. She would squeeze it occasionally, and it gave him goosebumps all over. They walked hand in hand towards the elevator after he parked at the basement, and his breathing suddenly quickened. Something wasn’t right but he couldn’t put his finger on it. She pressed on the button and then turned to him, and she seemed ... tormented.

 

 

“Kikwang-ah, let’s not meet again after this.” She whispered, her eyes glued to their entangled fingers.

 

 

 

“Yeah, I was going to tell you that I’ll be busy for a week so ...”

“No, let’s not meet each other anymore.”

“I ... I’m sorry ...? What?”

“I think ... I think we should give each other some space for now.”

“What are you talking about, Hyosung? Are you ... breaking up with me?”

“No, I’m not. I just want us to be apart just for a while ...”

“No. NO. I’m not breaking up with you. I won’t. Please, don’t do this. Please ...”

 

 

 

She suddenly close the gap and hugged him tight, and he could feel her body trembled as she sobbed. He quickly pulled her tighter, wanting to let her know he would not let go, and he didn’t want her to let him go. Never. He felt his tears washing down his face and soaked through her hair, just like hers soaked through his shirt. He didn’t know if he could hug her any closer to him, but he did. He needed to feel her heartbeat next to his racing one, he needed to feel her petite frame in his arms, he needed to smell the vanilla perfume that he loved so much – he just needed to hear her say she was only playing around. 

 

 

But she didn’t.

 

 

She slowly pushed herself off him despite him tightening his hold on her, she fought it weakly but with determination. As if she had to. She looked at him, her eyes red and then he felt her soft lips on his which made his heart skipped four beats. The kiss was soft yet passionate and careful, and he deepened the kiss and didn’t want it to stop. Whenever he kiss her, it seemed to erase all the pain away but why was this one different? He felt sadness in it. He kissed her to the very last second when she pulled away, planting one last kiss before she pushed herself completely off him.

 

 

“Please ... please don’t leave me.” His voice cracked, not caring whether he looked pathetic for her because he was. She shook her head, more of her own tears dropped.

 

 

“I’m not leaving you, Kikwang. But we just need some time apart ... I need time. There are so much going on in my life right now, I just need to sort it out one at a time. I need to sort this out too. I'm sorry but please understand me.” Her voice sounded calm in contrast to her tears. “It is for the best of us. We will meet again, okay? Good bye. ” The elevator arrived at the right moment when she said her last words to him and she quickly entered, and turned around to look at him. He was speechless and all he could do was look at her pleadingly, but she shook her head.

 

 

“I love you.”

 

 

And with that, the door closed, leaving him rooted to the spot. He was in daze, completely lost and couldn’t believe what just happened. And then he was on his knees once the pain fully registered in his head, and it was so unbearable he couldn’t even breathe properly. He clutched to the pendant on his chest hard, trying to rely on it to keep him sane. He couldn’t believe it. His world came crashing down once again.

 

 

 

He heard himself screamed.

 

 

 

---

 

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

 

 

Hi all!

 

 

I was supposed to update this yesterday, but it seemed like AFF was acting up again. I do hope they fix whatever glitch that is happening right now though. It's a little bit annoying that the site kept going down whenever I feel like reading some awesome fics. Haha.

 

 

Anyway, I noticed that this story seems to be going down the Hyosung-Jonghoon path which was a little horrifying for me because I wanted it to be Hyosung-Kikwang's but I don't know why I wrote more on HyoJong though. Does that mean I'm falling for this couple? OMG. Dun dun dun! Anyway, sorry if I make Hyosung seems like unappreciated human being when Kikwang comes back to her. Don't kill me! I love Hyosung, and I think this is somewhat logical if you ask me.

 

 

Personally, if that people hurt me badly once, it will be a little hard for me to forgive that particular person. And whatever more twice, so I'm just trying to put my own personal thought/action/whateverlololol when this happens. Well, I may not forgive that person at all and move on with life, eridicate that person off my radar completely. See how evil I can get? Don't mess with me. *evil laugh.

 

 

Anyway, story will get depressing in the upcoming few chapters. Just a heads up!

 

 

Thanks to my new followers, my loyal readers and those who commented. You guys are D to the AEBAK!

*big big big bear hug.

 

 

Bye!

 

 

 

 

PS:

 

Pardon me while I spazz like madwoman.

 

 

 

Forever crying for not attending SECRET + B.A.P's fanmeet yesterday! ASDFGHJKL. HEARD IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME. OMG DYING DYING DYING.

 

 

 

So close yet so far...

/LE FOREVER CRIES A RIVER OF NILE.