Saving You
[INDEFINITE HIATUS] Back To Memories
Save me, I'm losing my only dream,
Save me, I can use my guiding light,
Some place to go,
If you hear me let me know.
— Avenged Sevenfold's Save Me
Letting go.
Letting go of someone you hold to so closely and dearly can be the hardest part of all. Moving on can seem so completely impossible. Even though logic and reason and everything you know dictates that you have to; the love remains fiercely in your heart and passion courses its way through your veins and tells you and screams at you to stay and fight. That no matter what the odds may be, the love you feel and know to be true is worth the sacrifice and the pain no matter what the cost.
But that was what Jeon Hyosung had to do.
She just had to.
She stood alone in the dark corner, watching and envying every single couple that joined the dance floor as they cuddled close to their significant other, swaying to slow song that echoed through the ballroom. A raw pain engulfed her heart to see the scenes before her; she missed him.
To be honest, to hell with his one night stand with Min. It hurt to acknowledge it but what was done was done; things couldn’t be changed. But no, it wasn’t the reason why she pulled off the bold move.
Sakura.
She came back, in the form of a package, and it chilled her to the very bone with what she saw in it – pictures after pictures of Kikwang and her together. Hyosung knew her intention well even if she only wrote “Leave Jonghoon, or else”. She didn’t know what did it have to do with Kikwang but she knew one thing; she couldn’t risk his career. Not again.
She left him, not technically, but only for the time being. She needed to clear things with Sakura, once and for all – all these stupid threat have got to stop. She wasn’t going to let anyone ruin her life anymore. Just give me a little moment longer, Kikwang. I’m doing this for us. Tears stung her tired orbs and threatened to fall but she stopped herself. Hyosung, now isn’t the time to act all melancholy you idiot. She slapped her cheeks, not noticing someone was watching her.
“Why so sad, my lady?”
She quickly wiped the single tear that escaped and put the mask back on. She whirled around and a smile etched on her face as the mysterious man stepped out from the dark corner. He came and stood next to her, towering a good couple of feet above her despite the three inches high heels she wore. She felt like a midget.
“You should really stop popping out of nowhere, you creeper.” She punched him playfully in the arm and they both laughed, his deep manly voice mingled with her softer ones.
“What are you doing here? Go and dance. Have fun! We are only given an hour to relax before we get back on stage. You know that right?” He nudged her. “Wait, don’t tell me. Did Jonghoon bailed out on you? Is that what the sad face is for?”
“Uh ... yeah. You got that right.” She stuttered and quickly put on a pout. Bang Yongguk sighed. Whew, that was close! “No, don’t you even dare think about beating him senseless.” She glared at him behind the mask.
“I think he deserves it, yeap. He does. And why not? He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, not forgetting he cancelled out the spot I got him for the gig. Did you know how hard it was to get it?” He gritted his teeth. Yongguk was right. Jonghoon had been missing a lot lately, and it seemed like he was avoiding her, again. She shot him a pity smile.
“Hey whatever,” Yongguk extended his hand to her, grinning widely. “Care for a dance, my lady?”
“Uhm, no. You know I don’t dance.” She glared at him again. It was the truth; she at dancing and everyone knew that. She could only dance with Kikwang, just because he was a great dancer and he tend to lead the dance when they did.
“Bull. Come on, you can’t be that bad! Let’s go!” He grabbed her hand and practically dragged her to the dance floor before she could even protest. He then left her and dashed off somewhere, while she stood awkwardly there, shifting her feet from left to right. I’m going to kill you, Yongguk! She grunted.
“Okay people, let’s heat up the dance floor!” The DJ suddenly screamed and Katy Perry’s Last Friday Night blasted across the hall.
“This is my jam!” Yongguk yelled when he came next to her, already bopping his entire body to the beat. “Come on, Hyo. Lose yourself to the beat! Look at me!” True enough, he busted some impressive moves in front of her and the crowd cheered for him.
“I don’t dance, okay?” She laughed and started to walk away when Yongguk pulled her hands and started to wiggle her body, mouthing ‘I can’t hear you’ to her. They were later joined by Sunhwa, Jieun, and Zinger on the dance floor, and she forgot about her aching heart as the music slowly get to her. Yongguk sure knew how to find a way to cheer people up, she smiled at the thought. No wonder Jieun fell for this scary guy.
“All right, let’s go lover boy. We have some work to do. Sorry Jieunnie!” It was her turn to drag Yongguk off the dance floor and on to the stage. It was time for them to introduce their special guest.
“Okay everyone, settle down. Settle down. There seems to be some changes to our special guest tonight. Infinite can’t make it.” Yongguk announced as he read through the MC cards and they were answered with a wave of disappointed groans – mostly from girls, obviously. She smiled apologetically at them; she was actually looking forward to meet the new Korean boy band sensation too! And she herself wasn’t informed by this so she let Yongguk continue on with his announcement. “But do not worry, my friends. We managed to score a last minute replacement for them!”
The lights suddenly went off and a familiar beat slowly filled the room.
Wanna stay with you,
Wanna love with you.
Her entire being froze to the spot and she could feel herself falling, not just slightly but with a swooping jolt and a catch in . It can’t be ... The deafening screams by the crowd just confirmed for her further.
“Please give a huge round of applause for .... BEAST!”
The immense screams faded into the background, barely audible as her own thundering heart beat loudly against her chest.
What is he doing here ...?
Hyosung looked at her wrist watch. Ugh, there’s another hour to go! She tapped her foot impatiently as she peeked behind the big wide pillar. BEAST performed three songs, one after another, but she refused to watch them; she had been avoiding them all night long. She was afraid her resolution would crumble if she does. She still didn't know what he was doing here. Dear God, please don’t let any of them find me. Please please please ...
“You okay?”
Yongguk’s deep voice suddenly whispered in her ear causing her to screech and involuntarily slapped him – right on the face, hard.
“I’m sorry! Oh my god, Yongguk! Will you stop that?! See what you made me do!” She helped him find a chair to sit, which he needed, seeing how he was swaying from left to right.
“You slap really hard, like really hard, for a girl. Is it bleeding? Augh, I bet it will swells up tomorrow.” He touched his cheek and winced. “Anyway, someone wants a dance with you.” He jerked his head to his left and Hyosung followed his direction, and sure enough, a lanky guy with hair tied in ponytail waved at them.
“Are you crazy? How many times do I need to tell you I can’t dance? You want me to put a hole in his feet?!” She gritted her teeth at him, still tending to his cheek. Yeap, definitely going to bruise up tomorrow.
“Hyosungie, you owe me.” He smirked at her and pointed towards his now swelling cheek and sure enough, she felt guilty of it.
“Fine, I’ll dance with him!” She grunted and stood up. Hands on her hips, she glared at him. “Urgh, I’m going to strangle you one day Yongguk. You have my word for that and no one, not even Jieun, can stop me. Got that?” She playfully slap his swollen cheek and made a dash for it, leaving a writhing Yongguk behind. Serves you right!
“Hi, I’m Ryo Nishikido. You can call me Ryo.” She took his hand and winced when he grabbed her hands hard and vigorously, practically shaking her senseless. “Yes, I know who are. I was the one who asked for a dance, remember?” He cut her off when she tried to introduce herself.
“Ah, okay. Uhm, just heads up. I at dancing, big time.” She grinned awkwardly at the guy before her. I can only dance with that person, she thought sadly. Ryo smiled sweetly at her and took her hand, and he swayed them to the music. She constantly apologized for stepping on his foot and he would just shrugged it away despite she could sense him starting to limp. Okay, I seriously need out before I break any of his toes.
“Uhm, may I be excused for a while? I need to .. uhm, powder up.” Ryo slightly frowned to her request but he reluctantly let her go. She scurried away to the nearest restroom.
“Who does he think he is, touching me like that?” Anger flared through her as she fixed her hair. She noticed the way his hands dropped to her bottom a number of times despite her pushing them away. I’m going to strangle you for real, Yongguk! Ugh! Why is everything in a mess tonight? The moment she exited the restroom, a figure stepped in front of her suddenly, causing her to screech. Again. What is it with people and creeping?
The masked stranger held out his hand to her, indicated he wanted to dance but she refused. She had enough and all she wanted was the night to end. She shook her head politely but he insisted so she glared at him behind her own mask. God have mercy on me.
“I am really sorry but I don’t dance.” She lied, trying to sound apologetic. Well, she wasn't exactly lying though. She seriously couldn't dance. “And I tend to break people’s toes when I do.”
“Just one dance and I’ll leave as you requested, please.” His words came out more like a plead rather than a request and she felt a huge lump in at the sound of that voice. Kikwang. “Please ...”
“I ...” She stammered as a whirlwind of emotion rushed through her. Of course he knew; he always did, no matter how she disguised herself. She was speechless and stood rooted to her spot on the white marble tile. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how she felt. Now as she looked at him, all she wanted to rush to him and be in his strong arms, and let it took her pain away.
“Hyosung ...” He pulled her towards him and she couldn’t resist, just let her eyes flutter closed as he pressed his lips against her temple. “Please, come and dance with me.” She nodded weakly against his lips.
She let him guide her to the dance floor and wrapped one arm securely around his neck while her other hand settled into his. She moved her body close to him, resting her head on his shoulder, and stopped thinking. Kikwang was a great dancer. He knew how to lead, and he did. Her steps were effortless and almost flawless as she followed his.
“You look so beautiful tonight,” He whispered into her hair.
“Thank you,” She murmured. “You look dashing tonight too.”
“Thank you,” She felt his lips brushed her hairline.
Her smile was bittersweet as she snuggled her head even closer to his shoulder, feeling the warmth radiated from his skin. Somehow, their hands managed to find their way to their usual familiar spot – encircled around each other’s waists. They continued on dancing at the far dim corner of the hall as if no one existed but them, letting the music flowed into their veins and just basking in each other’s presence. He pulled back a little and their eyes locked, and for a long time, she just wanted to be lost in his eyes.
He pulled back further and put his fingers under her mask, tugging it slowly off her. She heard his breath-intake; he was slightly trembling as he smooth his thumb across her cheeks down to her chin. She unconsciously placed her hand on his mask but he stopped her and shook his head. Oh right, people would notice who he was.
“I’m sorry, I forget that ...” He silenced her with a finger on her lips. Hyosung looked into his eyes with only a mask separating them once again, and she saw love in them. Despair. Hurt. Longing. Her heart caught painfully in her chest and a fresh batch of tears sprang into her eyes without warning. God I miss him. He quickly wiped the single tear that rolled and shook his head once again at her, dissuading her from crying but how could she not when he himself was with his own tears brimmed around his eyes. She was suddenly confused. Shouldn’t he be angry at her ...? She was expecting him to shout at her any seconds now.
He inched his mask just above his nose and Hyosung forgot the world around her as their lips met halfway, and she melted into him. It was the first time they had kissed in a long while and it felt good to feel his slightly chapped lips rubbing against hers. She felt the kiss intensified into something more; desperation, longing, sadness, hurt – he was channelling his feelings into the kiss for her to see, to understand how he felt.
He pulled her tighter against him, as if not wanting to let go but he soon broke the kiss, too soon and they were left struggling for air. Forehead against each other, she could taste the salty tear that rolled down his cheeks when they kissed.
“Kikwang ...” She closed her eyes tight and let out a shaky breath. She wanted to give him what he desired, but at the same time she couldn’t push everything aside just yet. Not yet.
“Don’t ....” He said mutedly, his voice tight and packed with intensity. “Just let me have this moment a little longer. Please ...”
Hyosung obliged; she stared at Kikwang mutely, and he stared back, his eyes steady with hers, a shadow of an upturned smile etched on his face. Their eyes locked for the longest time before he made the first move to plant a lingering soft kiss on her forehead and she could feel him shaking. He took her necklace in his hand and smooth his thumb over the engraved “GH: Forever and Always” on the gold locket and kissed it.
“Can you promise me one last thing?” He then across her cheeks softly and a sad smile appeared; she was suddenly shaken with it. She nodded briefly, her heart felt really heavy by then. “Please remember, I love you and it will never change no matter what happens. Always.” His voice fell to a whisper.
Hyosung studied him carefully – she could see the intense sadness in his dark brown eyes, the frustration, the guilt. The reflection of her own emotion. How she wished she could tell him about Sakura but she knew Kikwang too well; he would take the matter into his own hands and things would get ugly. She couldn’t afford that. His career couldn’t afford it either. Before she could reply, he kissed her forehead, longer this time and the next thing she knew, she was left standing alone under the dim light as he walked away from her, his steps big and then he disappeared behind the door.
She should be happy to meet him again, to hear I love you uttered from his lips.
But why was her heart wrenching painfully?
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hi everyone! Sorry for being MIA for weeks but I don't think I need to reason out why.
You guys do know it already right? Exactly. Term papers. UGH. Someone do it for me, please. T___T
Anyway, thanks for reading! I won't be updating regularly from now on, unless I have the time, probably will do some short updates.
But other than that, I won't. I'm sorry!
Heads up to my new subscribers and silent readers (yes I see you!), thank you so much for reading!
Not forgetting my loyal subscribers too! <3
Bye!
PS:
B.A.P'S TEASER IS EFFING OUT!
OMG SPAZZ LIKE MADWOMAN FOR AGES.
I LOVE THIS!
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