Eunji found herself at the garden, the school garden where she had a lot of memories with Hoya. From the good to the bad, it was all memories that she would always remember. Eunji wasn’t crying, even though her heart felt heavy. She didn’t want him to leave, nobody would want him to leave but he said it was for the best. If it was for the best, how come she didn’t feel that way?

L chased after her to the garden and asked her if she was alright. He was surprised to see her not crying but at the same time, he was glad she was taking it okay. Or so he thought.

“So in the end, everybody close to me has to leave huh.” Eunji said sarcastically. She was referring to her mother and now Hoya.

L didn’t know what to say to comfort her. He was never good with words to begin with, so he just took a step closer to Eunji. He raised his hands, wanting to take her into a hug, but he stopped himself for whatever reason there was.

“Why is this always happening to me? First my mom, and then my boyfriend. Who’s next? My best friend?” She looked up at L with those sad eyes. “What a joke life is.” Eunji scoffed. “What a big big joke.” Her voice was starting to crack, no matter how hard she tried to hold it in; she just couldn’t and then came the tears. So much for not crying.

L couldn’t take it anymore and he wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. “I won’t leave your side Eunji, I promise I won’t.” And she grabbed his uniform sleeves tighter than before, while she continued crying her heart out.

Hoya stood at the garden, a distance away from Eunji and L and he witnessed the whole scene of them hugging in front of him. He mentally cursed at himself for not being the one hugging and comforting her and his heart broke into a million pieces, seeing her in someone else’s embrace. *So this is what L felt?* There was tightness in his chest and a lump at the back of his throat. He was jealous. Jealous that L was now the one comforting his girlfriend and once again, he felt like a failure.

Hoya retraced his footsteps and head back to where he came from. He couldn’t just stand there and watch the both of them and he didn’t know what to say if he actually got to talk to Eunji. All he could think of was to apologize but he knew Eunji wanted to hear anything but an apology. He had apologized too many times, one too often, and she didn’t want to hear it again.

He started having thoughts that maybe he wasn’t the right boyfriend for Eunji. All he gave her was disappointment nowadays but she deserves more. She deserves someone like L who is caring and thoughtful, someone who wouldn’t be a disappointment. Hoya had those negative thoughts but he couldn’t push them away. To a certain extent, he believed it to be true. Furthermore, L had always been there for her, even before he did.

Maybe… maybe it was time he let go.

--

Hoya thought about it day and night, whether he was indeed making the right decision for himself, for Eunji. It would hurt so bad to let her go but seeing that L would be the one caring for her, it made him feel slightly better. Just slightly. Because she deserves someone like L, he repeated to himself constantly.

The next few days after he announced his departure, Eunji acted like she was okay. She tried to talk to him normally and she had made him more meals than ever. Everyday she would make him lunch and spend as much time as she could with him. Eunji said that since he was leaving after graduation, they should cherish the time they have left instead of wasting it but Hoya could tell that her smiles were forced. She said that she’s okay but in actual fact, she’s not. She’s not okay. She’s just masking her sadness with that fake smile.

Indeed, every time Eunji was alone preparing lunch for Hoya, she started crying all by herself in the kitchen. Sometimes L would comfort her when he found her breaking down but sometimes she stopped herself from crying in front of him. Her puffy eyes gave her away despite trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.

L didn’t want to see her this way. He tried to bring up the topic of Hoya’s departure but she changed the topic immediately. Of course, she was reluctant to let him go but it pains him to see her this way. She refused to talk about it and acted like everything was okay when he could tell that it’s not. Eunji couldn’t even focus on studying. She would sometimes study alone and end up crying until L found her breaking down while studying. He decided to stay with her everyday and never to leave her alone so that he could always be there to comfort her.

The university entrance test and finals were just around the corner. The others were sad that Hoya is leaving for America soon but they all know that nobody could be as upset as Eunji. She was a total wreck now. Sungyeol would try to cheer her up with his joke, something he wouldn’t really show during exam time, but all she gave was a forced smile. Everybody could tell it was forced.

Sunggyu had tried many times to get her to talk about the issue, hoping that if she lets everything out, she would feel better but she refused to talk. Nobody mentioned about Hoya’s departure anymore, knowing how much it would hurt Eunji to just remember that her boyfriend was leaving. Every time someone accidentally brought that up, Sunggyu could see in her eyes that there were tears forming, and that she was trying very hard not to let them fall.

Hoya was distracted. So distracted that he couldn’t focus on his studies. He has made up his mind that he was going to talk to Eunji after the exams. It was important. He needed to have a straight out talk with her but he doesn’t want it to affect their studies so yes, after the exams it is.

Finally, the day of the university entrance test came and all the other seniors were going hysteric because of this important day. Eunji had prepared seaweed soup in the morning and wished him all the best with a kiss on the lips.

“You’ll do well oppa, I know you will.”

“Gomawo, Eunji.”

She smiled at him, this time it was more real that it had been for the past week and she turned around to leave but Hoya held onto her wrist.

She turned back, facing him, wondering what he was going to say next but Hoya was hesistating. “I… I… Eunji-ah, let’s have a talk after your exams okay? I’ll tell you everything after your exams.”

Eunji’s smile faded. She nodded softly and at the same time, L had come over, breaking the moment the two had. “Hyung, let’s kill it.” L smiled as he wished Hoya good luck for the exam. Then he turned his attention to Eunji, hoping that she’ll wish him luck as well, which she did. The two brothers then headed off to their classes for the most important exam in their life.

Meanwhile, Hoya’s words rang in Eunji’s ears. What did Hoya want to say? The curiosity was killing her that for the first time, she couldn’t wait for her finals to come soon. It’s just that, whatever Hoya wanted to tell her, it was going to be good isn’t it? Or not?

--

In a jiffy, the senior’s exams were over and all of them were out celebrating. Even the infinite clique, just without Eunji, who still happened to have one last paper the next day. They were all enjoying their newfound freedom at an ice cream parlor except for one guy. His mind was wandering and he obviously wasn’t paying attention to the funny joke Sungyeol was cracking.

L noticed this about his hyung and nudged him using his elbow. “Loosen up a bit, the exams are over. You deserve some time to relax and enjoy instead of stressing out over there.”

Hoya forced out a smile and ate his ice cream in silence. The gang then went to a nearby arcade and spent almost the entire afternoon there reliving their childhood as they played arcade games and ate snacks. This time, Hoya didn’t go unnoticed by Sunggyu. He went over to his side while Dongwoo and Woohyun were challenging each other in the basketball arcade game and the rest were watching by the side.

“Why the sad face?”

“I’m fine hyung, I really am.”

“You’re not fine, you’re worried about Eunji and you’re upset about leaving.” Sunggyu pointed out, leaving Hoya speechless. The only person who could be so observant would definitely be Kim Sunggyu.

“I know she’s avoiding the topic totally but I guess it’s only fair that you guys get to talk about it, about your plans for the future. There are many ways you guys can still keep in contact and maintain the relationship. It takes two hands to clap so the both of you have to put in the effort. Talk to her, don’t leave without a proper closure.” Sunggyu patted him on the back to which Hoya smiled in reply. Sunggyu always, always knew what to say and that made Hoya felt a lot better.

A closure is what he needs. It is what the both of them needs. Hoya promised himself that there would be no more running away this time. 

I wanted to post this yesterday but I've been busy. I've actually been really busy this entire week and I will continue to be busy until the end of the week of gosh, why am I so busy even thought its the semester break????? Someone help??? Anyways, this chapter got my heart wrenching with pain because... HOYA!!!! I feel bad for writing Hoya this way too (the story's Hoya hahaha) so don't hate on me please but instead, do continue to support the story yeah hehehehe thank you all so much!!!! Also, I was listening to Roy Kim's newest album 'The Great Dipper' as I was writing this chapter (maybe it was Roy Kim that made this chapter so mellow hahaha ok kidding I love Roy Kim). I just want you all to know that Roy Kim's latest album is so so so so so good I recommend you all to listen to it! His voice is just so soothing and like some pepople said, nostalgic. For those going through a lot, having troubles and pains, maybe listening to Roy Kim would help a little. Just a little perhaps. Listening to his songs makes you want to cry and sometimes once you cry, you'll feel much better! :) Okay, as usual, I ramble a lot and I just want to let those who are struggling know that you're not alone and there will always be people supporting you all the way!!!!!! (getting emotional becuase of Roy Kim ugh his album is just so good) 

Once again, I will say my usual, thank you all for supporting and I really appreciate each and everyone of you though not many of you comment. But just know, I love you all!!!!!!! Maybe as much as Roy Kim!!!!!! Hahahahaha