note: the first and last part are the only one set in the present, all the ones in the middle are set in the past mostly flashbacks. some of them are new and some are old and taken from past chapters but you would read some notes that will make you understand what they meant then.

There were just some things left unsaid and Myungsoo deems these things as one of them. Never in a million years did he think he should and would confess his feelings for Sungyeol, especially not this way. But what else should he be doing anyway? He couldn’t just let Sungyeol think forever that he hated him—especially since it’s actually the opposite.

“Uh, no.” Sungyeol said, “You hate me.”

Myungsoo’s smirked dropped and got replaced by a sad smile, “I could never hate you, Sungyeol. How could I hate you? People usually ask themselves when they fell in love with the person they do. When I ask myself this, I know exactly when I fell in love with you.”

Sungyeol bit his lip at everyone’s watchful gaze, “…When?”

“Don’t touch him!” Myungsoo mimicked, “As soon as those words left your mouth, I knew then that I fell in love with you at that very moment.”

--

“Sungyeol gets nightmares of what happened. He was on the verge of getting so the nightmares get replayed over and over. He claws his skin and anything near him when it happens,” Sunggyu told Myungsoo, “He was traumatized, Myungsoo. He has fear of the dark now.”

“How the hell am I supposed to face him?!” Myungsoo screamed as tears formed in his eyes, “Am I supposed to come to him and say I’m sorry when I’m the very fault he’s suffering these?”

“Myungsoo, don’t—“ Woohyun tried to reach his friend but Myungsoo had already turned around.

--

Myungsoo realized he had fallen in love with Sungyeol when all he could think about was him. And no, he wasn’t a stalker; he was just making sure the other boy was safe. So when he realized he had fallen for him, he panicked and got himself a girlfriend by name of HaeJoo.

“Oppa…” HaeJoo would always look at him sadly whenever she caught him watching Sungyeol from the corner of his eyes, “I… never mind.”

He feels guilty for using HaeJoo as a scapegoat. But what is he supposed to do?

When he and HaeJoo broke up, it was a mess. It was Sungyeol’s birthday and at the same time, his 100 days with HaeJoo. For some unknown reason, he and HaeJoo ended up at the restaurant where Sungyeol was celebrating his birthday so more than half of the time he was staring at the boy rather than looking at his girlfriend.

Sadly, HaeJoo noticed this too and decided to dunk a glass of water on his face.

“I knew you didn’t like me but you could’ve at least pretended to listen!”

They never broke up officially but they were as good as done.

--

“You must be kidding me, right?”

Myungsoo saw the pain stretch across Sungyeol’s face when he said those words. But then what is he supposed to say anyway?

“You’re not seriously asking me out, right?” He knotted his eyebrows, afraid of the truth. “Please, if you’d be doing practical jokes, spare me, I don’t need it.”

Because, someone help him, he’d been in love with the boy and it’s not healthy.

--

“Aren’t you supposed to be mopping the floor not staring at it?” Myungsoo walked through the doors and watched how Sungyeol dropped the mop he was holding, “I doubt staring could do the trick though.”

“What are you doing here?” Sungyeol asked without turning to look at him. Myungsoo couldn’t help his feelings—did Sungyeol just recognize his voice without looking at him?

“Helping you, of course.” Myungsoo answered as he picked up the mop and started mopping, “I owe you for what you did to Ms. Song earlier, I hadn’t studied for her exam either so I was one of those who were saved.”

A lie because he heard from Hoya (who heard it from someone else) that Sungyeol would be cleaning the gym from now on so he took the chance. It is a common knowledge that the tall boy is popular, therefore always surrounded with people so Myungsoo couldn’t get the chance to talk to him alone. All he wanted to ask was why do you still like me after all that happened? And before, Sungyeol also confessed to him in public.

“Hey, go away! I’m supposed to be doing the mopping!” Sungyeol pushed him off and took the mop for himself, “I don’t care if I saved you or what but this is my punishment and my grandfather told me to not get help. So shoo, go home or something.”

“He didn’t say to get help, he said not to get Sungjong or Dongwoo to help you,” Myungsoo grinned and tried to hide the guilt that it was obvious he had connections; didn’t Sungyeol wonder how he knew? “I’m neither so I’m here to help.”

“Why exactly are you here anyway?” Sungyeol glared or tried his best to glare.

“To help you, what else?” Why do you still like a coward like me?

“Oh I don’t know,” Sungyeol rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him, “Maybe think my feelings were a joke and then walk away? Just maybe though, does he sound familiar to you?”

Myungsoo shrugged as he grabbed the mop again, “Oh, you weren’t joking?” Because really, what is there to like about a coward like himself? He was a coward. A ing coward and Sungyeol is brave and heroic and brave and pretty and he is just a ing a coward.

“What?” Myungsoo heard the hurt in Sungyeol’s voice.

“Lee Sungyeol, even though we aren’t friends but we’ve been classmates since middle school so I very much know how you are,” Myungsoo said with another shrug, “You don’t like me, no, you can’t like me. So, why did you decide to play this joke on me?”

He’d rather accept the fact that Sungyeol would belong to someone else rather than be with him who’s a coward and can’t even face the boy for years. How is he supposed to protect him when all he could be is just be a coward?

--

“Are you sure it’s fine to just leave it be?”

Myungsoo stiffened because he knew exactly what those words meant because the person who uttered them was the person who watched him struggle with his feelings. Choosing not to answer, he waited until Hoya and Woohyun got bored enough to come and help him.

“Thanks guys, I never knew the gym was so huge,” Myungsoo slapped their hands as they hid away the cleaning materials; “It’s already late so I’ll just treat you both to dinner, let’s go?”

Without any refusal or words uttered, the three of them walked towards the nearest ramen store and ordered. It wasn’t long before they were all immersed in finishing the food in front of them and just basically filling up their stomachs.

“I’ll ask again,” Woohyun dabbed the napkin to the corner of his mouth as he faced Myungsoo, “Are you sure it’s fine to just leave it be?”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying, hyung,” was Myungsoo’s answer as innocently as possible because he knew what Woohyun meant because again, Woohyun was the one who watched him struggle with his feelings, “Please be specific on what you’re telling me ‘cause I can’t really guess.”

Woohyun ran his fingers over his hair before placing them in front of him as if calming him down. “Stop the act, Kim Myungsoo. We both know, no, the three of us including Hoya whose presence is almost invisible knows what I’m talking about. It’s been 2yrs, Myungsoo.”

It’s been two years since the accident and since Kim Myungsoo fell in love with Lee Sungyeol.

He looked up for a second before looking back down again, “I told you, hyung. Lee Sungyeol is just messing with me. He can’t like me.” A lie. All of them knew that Sungyeol loved him.

“What’s so wrong with Sungyeol liking you?” Hoya asked for the first time with raised eyebrows, “Why can’t you believe him when he says that he likes you?”

“Because he just… can’t like someone like me,” Myungsoo sighed. He can’t like a coward like him who will let the other suffer and then run away. He won’t let Sungyeol undergo the same pain again.

“Give me a valid reason on why Lee Sungyeol, as you word it, can’t like you.” Woohyun dared as he crossed his arms across his chest, “What’s wrong with you? You’re good-looking, you have a good and bearable personality, you’re a hard worker, you’re smart, and you can play the guitar while singing. What is there not to like about you? You do know you’re called Prince Charming for a reason, right?”

“Woohyun hyung!” Hoya gasped beside them.

“What?” Woohyun snapped.

“You do know you sounded as if you’re one of Myungsoo’s fangirl right there…” Hoya snickered that earned him a high-five from Myungsoo and a punch on the shoulders from Woohyun, “Just kidding, hyung. I was just trying to lighten up the mood a little.”

“Anyway, before Hoya so rudely tried to say I’m your fangirl which I’m not, just reminding you,” Woohyun threw another glare ay Hoya who immediately shut up, “What do you mean exactly by Lee Sungyeol can’t like you? He looked extremely sincere and was even pissed off earlier.”

Myungsoo rolled his eyes, “Hyung, I just know, okay? Sungyeol and I had been classmates since middle school. He’s a prankster, a joker and the class Clown. He’s loved by everyone, even by the teachers to whom his pranks are directed. He loves laughing and the crowd.  We’re complete opposites so how can he like me?” Funny thing was, he just recited why he loved Sungyeol when saying he shouldn’t.

“But he does, Myungsoo,” Woohyun pointed out and Myungsoo knew that the other knew that he knew without even saying so, “Even though you’re as opposite as black and white can be, he likes you.” And you like him, Myungsoo could hear the words that Woohyun left unsaid.

“He doesn’t, hyung,” Myungsoo forced, “It’s pr