“why did you always use a sweater inside house? Don’t you feel uncomfortable?” my dad asked and i gulped, he’ll figure out i fI did cutting myself off. “i-it’s okay”

          “what did you hide? Did you cut yourself?” he asked and immediatly shook my head, tried to lie to him though i couldn’t lie.

         My dad suddenly took my arm and opened it wide enough to see a scars that i left.

        “WHAT DID YOU DO!? ARE YOU CRAZY!? WHY DID YOU DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE THIS? PEOPLE WILL THINK THAT I ABUSE YOU!” he screamed to me and what i could do was sitting there.

         I felt so scared so i ran away from my house. It was still in the middle of the day, and the sun started to burn my skin.

          i’ve never heard my dad screaming like that before, so i decided to ran away because i was just way too shocked.

        “[Y/N]. What happened? Why did you look so pale?” chanyeol suddenly showed up and i knew that he just working out.“i-i’m fine” i replied.

        Chanyeol got bored by my reply so he insist me to tell him the truth. So i did. We sat on the passanger side together and that road was so quiet, so there was no many people that could disturb us. “sorry to hear that”

          I replied, “it’s okay, maybe i’m just way too crazy”

          “hey, you’re not crazy. I’ll explain why you aren’t crazy but i have to go to my house since my mom need some help, you want to come over?”

          “nah it’s okay, i’m fine”

          “alright then, suit yourself, i’ll go now. Bye!” chanyeol waved his hand on me. right then, i knew that i should tell him the truth since i couldn’t hold it much longer.

          I should’ve just wait until we almost graduated, but i couldn’t. It just too hurtful for me. “chanyeol-ah”

          When he heard i called his name, he turned around and facing me. “tonight, 7 o’clock. At the park. I have to tell you something” he nooded and smiled before running away.

         i’ve never knew that it was going to be this fast, today will be the day he will hated me so much.

          Because i have no place to stay that day, i decided to go to my mom’s place instead.

         She might be suprised since i’ve never go to her place by myself, she usually the one who take me.

        when i rang the bell, uncle jinwoo opened the door and got very suprised. But then he smiled and welcomed me.

          “where’s your bag?” he asked and i told him that i ran from house because of something.

          What a nice thing that he didn’t ask me about that. in a few minutes, my mom came with her worried face. “what’s wrong, dear?”

          I replied, “ i had a little fight with dad”

          “why is that?”

          “i’m not going to lie, so-“ i opened my sweater sleve and showed her my scars. She was so suprised, but the reaction was so different than my dad.

          My dad looked so mad, while my mom my hair gently. “is it because of chanyeol?”

          “yeah, i think so”

          “are you sure he’ll understand it, eonni?” asked naeun. I decided to took naeun to the park also so she could accompanied me.

         i sighed, no, he wouldn’t understand it. me and naeun hiding behind the tree and i found chanyeol was there on the swing. “i gotta go now, wish me luck”

          “you will!” naeun smiled at me and i smiled back at her. i stepped closer to chanyeol and when he realized that i was here, his face became so curious. “what do you want to tell me?”

          “you’re going to hate me” i said to chanyeol and he showed me his confused face that was so cute. “listen, i even don’t understand why did you tell me so much about it. i didn’t have any reason to hate you, [Y/N], you’re my bestfriend”

          I asked, “you want to know why?”

          “why?”

          “it’s because you’re my first love”

          “wait what?”

          “i know this might sounds so cheap, but you’re my first love. I fell for you since we’re at elementary school, i even didn’t know what was love back then. I’m sorry if i’m not hot enough for you, i didn’t even try to be hot for you. i know you didn’t love me like i do, but i always stand here until i figured out how to forget you. and i haven’t figure it out”

          “[Y/N], you-“

          “I haven’t finish yet. I’ll be honest. I want you, and the thought that if minah or someone else having you, is a knife twisting in my dark soul. Though i know that loving you is like going to war; i never came back the same. And i-“

          “STOP IT” i was very suprised at that time. Chanyeol just shouted at me. i became shuttered when i saw anger in his face.

         “don’t come closer to me again, i hate you. you’re right” chanyeol walked away and leaved me behind. There was no way to stop him, i knew that this was going to happend but i couldn’t help it but cry.

         Not so loudly, because i knew that chanyeol probably could hear it.

          “eonni!” naeun screamed at me and hugging me to calm me down. But there was no way i could calm down, no way.

        Then we heard foot steps and it was my dad. I didn’t want to see him, i began to hate everyone. “honey, i-“

          “no dad, i already told you that i don’t want to stay for him. but you told me to stay, trying to make me believe that chanyeol won’t be like that. but he is, he ed my mind up. I told you about that but you don’t want to listen to me. you’re just care about chanyeol because you're afraid that he’ll ended up like you!”i ran away from naeun and my dad.

           I ran faster than them until i got lost, i didn’t know where was i. i sat right at the passenger side and cried as loud as i can.

         Without knowing, i even screamed chanyeol’s name.

          “i hate myself! why did i have to be so ugly until he hate me so much!” i murmured in my cries. I wanted to go away, i didn’t want to be here anymore.

          Then i guess that God heard my pray. I got up and found that there was a cliff right in front of me.

           i asked to God, “it’s easy right? it won’t be that hurt” 

           “DON’T” i heard someone yelled from behind and when i looked back, it was daehyun.

         I was very suprised because he suddenly showed up. “why are you here?”

          He replied, “your dad