Once again my notebook was a victim of my war inside my head, I keep doodling since I heard Tiffany through the phone, something is going to happen and I was sure I wouldn’t like it a bit.

Knock, knock. - I saw my blondie friend at the frame door, she smiled as she was entering at my office.

How are doing boss? - She asked while she sat down.

Fine. - I reply, she just stared at me blankly.

You really think I will buy that?-

Hyoyeon…-

What’s wrong? It’s your family disturbing you again? - I sighed, that was one of the reason, but honestly that doesn’t really matter to me right now.

They are always disturbing me. - I choice to say that, she made a curious grin.

Then, why are you so gloomy here?-

Tiffany. - I said as if her name was the answer of my distractions, which it was.

Tiffany? What wrong with her?-

Nothing, is just… maybe it’s me but I think something is going to happen, I have this bad feeling.- She nodded like she could understand what I was saying.

Talk to her.-

I did, but she hang up, there was something in her voice that I didn’t like it.-

So you choice to stay here.-

For now, yes.-

Jessica.-

Hyo, please I have other thing to occupy here. - I said not really wanting to be in this topic. The more I think about it, the more depressed I become.

 Ok, I will drop it, anyway I came here to tell you that Sunny have a date already for her weeding.-

When is it? - I began to doodling again.

In two month for now, more specific, in February 5^th. So you better clear up your schedule that day. - She stood up, I nodded her.

Why don’t you take a walk? - I looked up to see her, she smiled me sincerely.

I have things to do here.-

Yeah, I can tell your notebook is fully with duties there. - She pointed at my scrabbles.

C’mon, you need to clear up your mind, it’s not good when you are all stressed out and staying indoor. Don’t worry I will take care here.- I heard her say as the door was closing.

At the end I went outside, she, practically kicking me out. I rolled my eyes remembering.

It happened to me that in just two days more it will Christmas and I still have to buy a tree. I will need lucky to find some at this time, even with my time being shorter I keep walking at my space and unwittingly I went to the same spot I saw Tiffany for the first time, I chuckled recalling how she didn't bother when I was staring her, watching her singing.

She is so weird. - I mumbled, how many times I have said that to her, how many time she has said that to me.

Weirdo couple. - That was we are and I couldn’t ask for other way. I sat down the tree letting the nature embracing me, a content smile was placed in my face.

I took out my cellphone, immediately a picture of her and me under the snow showed up, I stared for a brief of time at the moment frozen at my phone. I search for her name on my contact, I decided to message her instead of calling her.

As I was writing my text I keep thinking about the moments we had so far, more than a month went by since we met and so much has happened in the meantime. The first night when I talked to her through that online service, she was kind to me, she is still kind to me, she listened to me whenever I called her, no matter what time was. The first time I saw her here in the park and then in that party. I should thank Sunny about dragging me at it, when we walked on the street, when we heard the soft sound of the sax and the snow, we saw the first snow together. I guess it was a sign.

When I confessed to her that night, she was so dense, when we danced in the middle of the park just because and since that day Frank Sinatra was my favorite artist. And, Gosh! When I kissed her, how soft were her lips, how happy I was.

How happy I’m.

I send my message to her, not really waiting for her reply.

I left the park behind, I still need to find a tree for Christmas.

I heard the muffling sounds behind the door, the coffee machine was working, the tic tac of the clock above the frame door was driving crazy, I heard the clock working but why I felt like an eternity inside the room.

Bora and I were quiet for a long moment, she was thinking, she was reasoning something and here I’m dying inside, I just wanted to finished and go home, go with Jessica, be with her. I need her, her hugs, her kisses, her warm, I just needed her.

Can you please say something? - I couldn’t resisted more, Bora looked up to me.

You broke the rules Tiffany, you know that, it’s forbidden to date the clients and still you did it. - Her eyes were telling me how sad she was, how disappointed she was. I nodded, lowering my head ashamed.

You know I can risked all my work here Tiffany and it’s hurting me more that it was you who did all this, I mean you are more than I worker for me, you are my friend.-

I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry Bora. - I knew I was in big problems.

You know I can play favorites here, if someone knows I skip this incident, then other workers will think is alright dating their clients and that is not good, maybe this Jessica won’t do anything to us if things don’t work well between you but I don’t know if I will be lucky all the time.- I nodded once again. She was right and I was really sorry to her.

With all my pain Tiffany, I need you to pick up your stuff, you are no longer working here. - I was about to cry but I hold it, she was doing her job, I was the only responsible here.

Alright. - I said standing up, she did the same.

I’m sorry Tiffany. - I tried to smile her.

Don’t be, it was my fault after all.-

But still… I’m sorry, but you know you can keep your work if you.-

I won’t break up with her. – I cut her, she sighed.

Is she really worth it? You are losing your job. - I keep smiling.

I will leave now Bora. - I walked away from her but she stopped me.

We are still friends right?-

Of course, I don’t hold grudge on you. - She hugged me. Then after seeing her for a brief of second a left her office.

I went to my cubicle to pick up my stuff, I tiny tear fall from my eye but I clear it quickly, I did not need anyone to see me like this. I grabbed one of the boxed that were lying there, I put my notes, my photos, my flower and my books. I saw how other people were staring me but I couldn’t care. With a content smile I go out of this place.

Tiffany wait!-

I was walking when I heard someone calling my name. I looked behind to see it was Yoona.

Tiffany… I… God, I need to exercise more. - I chuckled seeing how she was panting.

Take your time. - I said smirking her, she just glared me.

What are you doing? What happened? - She said once she calm down.

You are not seeing, I get fired. - I said lifting the little the box I was holding up.

But… Tiffany…-

Don’t worry Yoona, I will find another job.-

But you love your job.-

Yes but I love her more. - I said smiling, she stared me.

I wish I can do something. - I hugged her, I thinks she needed more than me.

Thanks buddy, I will see you around ok? - I felt her nodding me.

Well, then I guess I will visited you, I will miss you.-

I will miss you every morning Yong. - She chuckled.

And I will miss your loudly voice in the morning. - I smiled a bit.

See you around Yoong.-

Yeah, see you around. -  We bid our goodbye. She walked back at her work and I stood there until I couldn’t see her anymore. I sighed walking down the street. I got a message seconds later.

“Can you guess where I’m? … remember the first time we saw each other, you were singing in the park, I never told you but you were stunning that day (not like you are not anymore cause you are ;) ) I kind of fell in love with you at that time and then we met again at that party and we talked more and I fell even more for you, you looked beautiful under the snow, remember? We saw the first snow together. To be honest I never expected that you would be someone so important to me, we still have a long way to know each other. Not long ago we talked about our family. Is it weird? We trusted in each other but we didn’t know anything basic about us. I'm scared… what I'm feeling right now is scaring me like you don’t have idea. I never thought I would be crazy about someone, especially with a girl I must say, but then I couldn't ask for more, you are perfect and I guess, why I’m trying to say here is, that I'm very thankful to life, fate, God? I don’t know whoever or whatever, I’m just thankful that I met you and I could feel this love, honestly I always thought I would be with my ex-husband and I wouldn’t experience the true love. Maybe it’s too soon to called true love, I mean we know each other like what? More than a month? But still I’m pretty sure my love for you is bigger than anything. You change me for good, you make me happy and you make be the luckiest girl in this world. I love you Tiffany (Gosh you are making be a lovesick).

I guess this message is longer that I thought, I hope you don’t mind to read it. I will see you later and I would appreciate if you did not mention this message because I’m too embarrassed just writing this.

Love you.

J.

I remembered the question Bora had done me in her office.

“Is she really worth it?”

Of course she was, even more.

I love her and she is all I need in my life.

I'm surprised this story has more than 100 subscribers, I'm totally grateful for each of you. To be honest I never thought that someone would read this story and even when I know my gramma is not the best (I apologize for the inconvenient) I found it refreshing to express myself through this story and feeling good about myself that I can make someone feel something with every chapter. You are awesome ;) 

Aside for my greatful message for you, I would like to shared with you something that happened to me a few days ago, I had the opportunity to experience the most beautiful ( a little traumatic) thing in this world.  I attended a birth, not just stay as a spectator, but as one of the responsible for giving care to that baby. Being a nurse has totally changed me, I do not see things as before, and even though I am just a student, the things I've experienced in my career and in my personal life have made me grow considerably.

It was really beautiful to heard the baby cry for the first time, even when the desire to have children is no longer as strong as before (Believe me I don't want to put myself in that pain but still wanted, if that makes sense?) having a child is really something worth it.

Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day!