The night is so cold. I fell asleep trembling, accompanied by the dim light. The apartment filled with no voice, because I'm alone. 
The atmosphere is tranquil but not peaceful. This place has never been peaceful since I arrived here, the only thing that keeping me from dying is Irene. She always makes me feel alive with her presence. It's okay even it's only temporarily, because I'm glad that I'm still breathing. 

I was wondering when will I could Come back to my eternity peace. Which is by My sister side. I realized now, it has been months since The last time I saw her dorky smile, her grandma laugh, and feeling the sister warmth hug. 

a cold night like this remind me of Tae a lot. How she used to give me a cup of hot chocolate and accompany me to sleep. Taeyeon is my older sister, but she act like a mother and a younger sister at the same time. 

That's it! I'm already on my limit. I miss her, I couldn't take this anymore. I grab the phone beside me and called our apartment. 

As I wait for her to pick up, My heart starts to thumps because of the excitement and nervouseness. What if she yell at me? Because I left her and never contact her, what if she decide to throw me away as a sister? What if Jess already tell her about what happened between us? What if-

"Hello?" This sweet voice seized me from my thoughts. This sweet voice is familiar but defininetely not Tae's. 

As I realized whose voice it is, I can't speak. Perharps, cat got my tongue. 

"Hello?  Whoever is this, answer or I will hang up. It's already dawn and you're obviously disturbing us in getti-" 

"Jess?" I uttered, tightening my grab on the phone. I cut the voice that I miss the most from blabbering more. I'm selfish because I don't want to stop listening to her sweet and calming voice.

There's a silent for about 1 minute. I blink my eyes several times, and my eyes are glistening without I realized it. Perharps she doesn't want to talk to me, she hate me after all. 

A single tear rolled. My thoughts are always bad, aren't they?
"Jess? Jessica? Are you there?" I heard a sniff from the other line. Are you crying Jess?

"is... This.. Really you..Yoojae? Is this really my annoying flat nosed?" I smiled bitterly as I hear her trembling voice. 

"yes It's me.." I whispered but loud enough for her to hear. 

It's just like an amnesia, when suddenly I got the memories back. But for this case, I got those feelings that I burried deep inside back. My heart starts to reckognize its old owner again. 

"Yoojae I miss you. I really do, I'm sorry.. So sorry.." there's this sincerity in her voice.

she miss me. Should I happy or not?

"What are you talking about? There's nothing to be sorry about." I stated firmly, afraid that she will notice the wound in my heart that starts to open again. 

"so you're living with taeyeon now?" I continued. 

"uh....Yes.." she answered,