Vacation is now over. We are headed to the aiport. I'm sitting in the back with Hanbin and Junhoe. I make sure Junhoe is in the middle of us.

"Why are you two so awkward?" Junhoe asks.

"Because your face is too ugly to look at. And since you're in the middle, I can't avoid looking at your face when I talk to Saerin."

I laugh at his joke and look to my other side to the window.Oh God, this is going to be an awkward trip. Why did this happen to me.

I love them both so much, how could I lose them like this?

I love the way Jinhwan smiles and lights up my world, but the way Hanbin makes me feel when i'm around him; what do i do?

i don't want to lose one of them because if this. These two are literally my life support, what would i do without them?

I stare out the window, trying to distress, but obviously making me think more and more about my situation. Why am I filled with such first world problems?

I try to set up a pros and cons chart in my head. 

"If i choose Hanbin I would be happy, have him in my life all the time," I think to myself "But then I wouldn't be happy anymore because I would lose Jinhwan in the process and vice versa."

I wake up to a vigourous shaking; it was Junhoe. I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't even realize that i fell asleep. 

"Boy, aren't you a sleepy baby," he turns around to talk to where he thought Hanbin was "Isn't she Han-- What the-- Where did he go?"

I can't believe he left without us. Is he avoiding me? "I didn't know he could walk that fast." I say to Junhoe, trying to relieve some tension with comedic relief.

"What is up with you two? First you guys are awkard, then Hanbin leaves like this... What is going on?"

"Maybe he has to use the washroom?" I'm trying really hard to come up with any excuse to make him less suspicious.

"I guess the sandwhich he made went bad. That still doesn't explain why you guys are so--"

"Let's get our bags?" I quickly change the topic. There is no way in hell I could explain this to him.

He shruggs and nods. We stand up and get our bags from the compartment about our seats and begin to leave the airplane. Since we were seated for so long the plane was almost empty. 

Soohyun picked us up from the airport and now we were home, all cuddling on the sofa wathing one of the shows Soohyun was caught up with. It was called Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. I was so into the drama until I realized that the two male leads were both in love with Do Bong Soon -- making me remember my own dilemmas. 

"I'm gonna go nap in my room." I say and leave the warmth of my siblings, going upstairs to my room. I quickly land on the bed, oh how I missed her.

I get under the covers and attempt to sleep, but all I could do was think about who I would pick. 

"Jinhwan? Hanbin? Jinhwan.. No, Hanbin!" I begin to yell into my pillow. I hate this. Why God have I been foresaken?

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but still! 

What if I chose none of them? Ha, I'd probably lose both of them ( A/N: Ha same, but instead of Hanbin and Jinhwan I'd lose all of my readers who are suprisingly still subscribed)

I get up and look up at my clock. Turns out, I've been lying in my bed stressed for an hour. I get out of bed and start to unpack my suitcase. I might as well be productive -- man if I was like this during school.

When I finish unpacking I change out of what I wore at the airport, which was basically an oversized shirt tucked into jogging pants -- into an oversized sweater and leggings. 

I put on my red converse, get my essentials and leave my room. When I go to get my keys downstairs I see Donghyuk and Soohyun asleep on the sofa. I smile and cover them with a blanket. 

I quietly leave the house and lock the door. I start to walk wherever. I honestly need some fresh air to clear my mind.

I somehow end up at the park where Hanbin and I had our "date." I was so lucky to meet somebody like him. Despite the way we met, he was such a great person to know. 

I walk closer to the park and see a blurry figure there. As I get closer and closer the figure turns into Jinhwan sitting on the swings. I think he heard my footsteps because he turns attention away from his to feet in the sand to me. 

"Oh... Hey." He says awkwardly.

"Hey.." I stand there near him, just looking at my feet twirling around in the sand. 

"You wanna sit down?" He points to the swing beside him. 

Wow, I wonder how awkward I looked just standing there.

I sit in the swing and begin to move back and forth slightly. 

We sit there in silence.

It's so strange. Whenever we sit in silence -- which wasn't often -- it wouldn't feel like this. This tension, it's crazy. I can't take it anymore. I went outside to clear my mind, not to increase my stress levels

"Maybe I should leave?" I say, standing up out of the swings.

He quickly stands up "Wait, don't!" He doesn't know what to do. He's just standing there, probably refraining himself from coming closer to me.

I wait a few seconds to see if he's going to say anything else, but as I predicted, he didn't. I turn around to leave, but he grabs me to face him and hugs me. 

I stand in his embrace for a little, stunned by what happend, but I slowly wrap my arms around him. I missed the way he would hug me. It's been a while since we actually hugged suprisingly. I just want to stay like this for a while. 

Ever since Hanbin and him told me that they liked me, I haven't talked to them, or even looked at them the same way I used to. We could just be comfortable like this; being in silence, hugging... Everything changed, and maybe it will be like this forever. Why did this have to change. 

We stay like this; hugging in the middle of the park, alone. 

A/N: 

Woah, I'm back. 

I was reading over some of my chapters and wow, have I changed.

My writing has changed significantly. I learned so much over the time I stopped writing.

Also, sorry I didn't update LOL

I guess I kind of forgot that people read this. 

I'm just a small person in a big world and yet people from different parts of the world are reading this.

I totally forgot about this platform sorry

but hey, I updated!!

I'm trying to end the book within maybe three or four chapters so that I don't have to leave AFF with an unfinished book. 

So, prepare yourselves :))

So, I've listened to so many new songs, so I just won't put a song of the day/week/weeks/months/for however long i've been gone lol

K BYE THIS IS GETTING TO LONG

-Chanel :))

P.S. I'm not gonna read this over because YIKES i love cringing