"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" Mark ran along side me down the street as I sprinted towards the subway station. I couldn't even process his questions right now. All I was thinking about was getting as far away from here as possible, as soon as possible.

And since I was pretty sure that adrenaline was the only thing keeping my legs functional, I kept running so I wouldn't collapse in the middle of the sidewalk.
But my body resisted and eventually, I slowed down and stopped, almost falling backwards. Mark caught me before I could hit the ground, keeping me upright with his strong arms.

"What happened in there? I heard a smack. Did he hurt you?"
With the little energy still left in me, I shook my head.
"Then what was that noise?"
"I'll tell you later," I gasped out, pushing myself out of his arms and forcing myself to start walking again. The closer we got to the subway station, the closer the sound of police sirens became. I could see Mark's gaze on the back of my head as I slid my card and walked through the turn style, but I didn't look back. I didn't want to turn around. I was scared, no...terrified, that I would see my dad looking back at me instead of Mark.

Only when we finally got back to our apartment did I finally let myself go.

"Holy crap, I think my entire body is still shaking from that," I said, sinking onto the floor next to my bed. Mark came in a few seconds later with a cup of water. He handed it to me before he sat on the bed, his face stern and concerned.
"I swear, if he hu-"
"He didn't hurt me, Mark," I put the cup of water I had just drained down on the floor and rested the hand on his leg. "I hurt him."

I watched his eyes grow wide and the concern melt into confusion.

"You hurt him? But I thought..."
"Yeah I am terrified of him. I still am," I shuddered at the thought of seeing him again, which I knew was going to happen in the future. He wasn't going to stop trying to get whatever it is my mom has been hiding from me all these years. 
"So how did you hurt him?"
"I slapped him," I ran my hand through my hair, the ghost of the impact and the feeling of satisfaction still lingering on its surface, "and honestly...it felt amazing."

Silence clung in the air after that last sentence slipped out of my mouth.
It felt like forever before I finally heard my blankets move around above my spot on the floor. I tilted my head up and saw Mark sliding down to join me on the floor. The confused look on his face wasn't there anymore.

Now, it looked more like fear.

"Why do you look kinda scared?" I asked, brushing some of his ruffled bangs back into place. Maybe it was just my overactive imagination or me thinking too hard again but it looked like he flinched a little as I touched his hair.
"Because you literally sounded exactly like your dad when you said that."
I pulled my hand back as if I had burned it-fast and with a pained expression on my face.

"Why the hell did you just compare me to that thing that's out there trying to get me and whatever this big secret is?"
"Because if you're not careful, you could turn into him."
"What're you talking about? I would never stoop to his level. He's not even worth the dirt we wa-"
"________________, listen to yourself! Just stop and think about what just came out of your mouth."

I stared at him with wide eyes and confusion written all over my face.
What the heck was he talking about? All I did was say that hitting my dad felt....good.

Oh.
That's what he meant.
I let my eyes close and felt the pain of the reality sink in. Mark was right. That does sound like something he would say.
I can't believe I even let words like that slip out of my mouth.

"Do me a favor?" I opened my eyes as I turned to him. Mark nodded, moving in a little closer. "If I ever start turning into him...punch me. Hard."
The look on his face was a mix of confusion and shock.
"You're kidding right?"
"No," I shook my head, "He's the last thing I ever want to be. And considering that he is my dad, half of my chromosomes are his."
"But the other half are your mom's."
"Still...I don't ever want to act like him, talk like him, or even do anything that could be associated with him. If you ever see me turning into him," I motioned at my face and faked punching myself. I could see him twitch, wincing slightly but he still nodded.

"I'm trusting you," I sighed out, getting up from my bed and making my way to the door. Through my vanity mirror, I could see Mark still sitting on my bed, his face half covered in the shadows casted in my room.

A shiver shook my spine. Completely involuntarily.
And for the first time, I saw an expression on Mark's face that I've never seen before.
I saw doubt.

Author's Note
chapter title: Doubt & Trust-Access [x]
sorry i haven't updated in a while! school started so i don't have too much time to update a lot, but i'll try my best! :)