I rubbed my hands on my arms, trying to warm my body up a little bit but nothing was working. The longer I sat here, the more the coldness was seeping into me. I still had my outdoor winter gear on and I was still shivering and shaking underneath all my layers. Mark had one arm around me and his other hand holding onto mine tightly.

Right now, he was my anchor.
Basically the only reason why I haven't completely lost it yet.

"You're like vibrating," he whispered into my ear, squeezing me a little tighter. I looked up from the floor and met his eyes with my own as if I was silently begging him for help.
But even though I didn't say anything, he still heard me.
He knew exactly what I was thinking, but that didn't mean he always knew how to make me feel better.
Though that didn't really stop him from trying every time.

"Are the rest of them coming?" I managed to mumble out, leaning my weight against him.
"Do you want them to?" he patted my hair down before he placed a kiss on top of my head. Warmth immediately surged through me, giving me a little energy to shake my head.
"It's ok," I sighed, nuzzling my head deeper into his chest, "they don't need to see me like this."
"But I think they would want to provide you know...emotional support?"

"Yeah," Henry's voice broke through the few seconds of silence after Mark's sentence, "I think you need at least that much."
"Or we should give you at least that much," Kevin added, walking up behind Henry with Jackson, Peniel, and Eric trailing in after him. I jolted up from Mark's side, sitting up straight against the bench.
"How did you guys even know where we were?"
Eric pointed at Mark, "I called him and asked him if you managed to get home ok. He kinda hesitated when he answered so we all kinda grilled him about what happened. Don't blame him."

"But were you really not going to tell us?" Peniel asked from the other side oft he hallway. The "Surgery in Session" sign lit part of his face in an eerie red glow, making his usual puppy dog cute face look a little scary.
I didn't know how to worm my way out of giving him a straight answer.

So I hesitated.

"I-I didn't want to burden you guys with anything. I thought-"
"______________, stop," Jackson said, his voice carrying a serious edge, "don't ever think you're any sort of burden on us. Most of the time, we're burdens to you. So when you really need it, let us help you."

No one really said anything by this point.
Everyone knew that when Jackson started to talk like that, things were pretty serious.
We all sat in silence for what seemed like forever. One by one, the guys all started to drift off, sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall or on each other for support as they slept. And after the 3rd hour past, Mark's head gently fell on my lap. I was the last person awake cause frankly, there was no way I could sleep. Every time I tried to, all I could see was my dad stabbing my mom and the helpless expression permantly set on her face as she fell backwards. So I stayed awake the entire time, my eyes shifting back and forth from Mark's sleep face to the brightly lit sign over the double sliding doors.

Then finally, I saw a flash of blue beyond those doors.
I shook Mark awake as my legs moved on their own, springing my body off the chair and rushing me towards the doctor who was slowly walking out.
Every step he took seemed heavy and his face looked downcast.
No.
Think positively ________________. Maybe the doctor's just tired. Maybe the long hours of surgery he just performed drained him.
She's fine. Your mom's a fighter. She's definitely alive.

"How is she?" I asked, my words spilling out of my mouth, nervous and scared to hear the answer.
The answer that I knew was coming.
The answer that I was so desperately trying to push far away from my reality.
But it was invading. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. There was nothing I could do to rewind time and prevent all this from happening.

Because as soon as the words "I'm sorry" came out of the doctor's mouth, my entire world broke.

Author's Note
chapter title: Damaged Lady-Kara [x]
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