Chapter twenty six - "Things are going to be better."

Junsu felt down and moody since his discussion with Jang Geun-Suk. The other boy had pinpointed something he never questioned before. His feelings toward Hyo-Rim. Like all of them, he knew that his life was in the hands of his matched partner as their lives will never be apart. They needed each other.

However, affection and love were two things different.

The teenage boy sighed and buried his face against the soft pillow. He wanted to cry. He wanted to find a way to ease his torment.

"Are you still moping?" Heechul asked his son from the threshold of the young boy's room.

"It's nothing..." Junsu said in a low voice.

Heechul shook his head lightly at the suffering he could read on his adoptive son's face. The man entered the room and walked to sit on the soft bed next to Junsu. He rubbed small circles on Junsu's back softly like he always did when the latter was a little boy. The man smiled sadly at the thought that his baby boy had grown up so much.

"It's not nothing. I can tell that something isn't right between Hyo-Rim and you. You just meet for your Power transfer and nothing much. She doesn't tease you and you seem a bit uneasy standing next to her."

"It's complicate..." Junsu sighed and lifted up to sit properly on the bed.

"Try to make it not so complicate for me then." Heechul said softly while ruffling his son's hair tenderly. "And perhaps I can help you a bit."

"I don't think you could help me..." Junsu said in a low voice.

"Where is my baby boy gone?" The man asked, wrapping his arms around the teenage boy. "My little Junsu always told me what was wrong or what was right in this world. He scolded me for being so uptight in his Hangeng appa's presence. He even scolded me when I was trying to prevent him to be friend with Yunho and Jaejoong."

"I don't know..."

"It seems that being a little carefree baby boy was better than to grow up into a pretty teenager."

"I'm not pretty."

"You're right. You're a muscular and manly boy."

"Are you into drug?" Junsu side-glanced at his Heechul appa who burst into laughter at his scolding stare.

"You two seem to have so much fun without me." Hangeng said from the corridor. The man had finished his shift and just got home to witness some tender moment between those two.

"I'm trying to get some information about our brooding little angel." Heechul said with a smile. "It seems Hyo-Rim and him are not in a good term."

"Oh..." Hangeng nodded. He, too, had witnessed the little change between those two matched partners.

"Just oh?" Heechul asked rising a brow.

"Sorry. What's going on?" Hangeng asked with an amused smile and entered the room. He sat on the bed on the other side of Junsu.

"How can I know that I am falling in love with my matched partner?" Junsu asked suddenly, making his two appas stunned at his question.

"Falling in love..." Heechul repeated with a nod.

"Whoa..." Hangeng breathed out while looking unsure at Heechul. How could they answer his question? Love wasn't something which tied them together.

"You're harsh with us." Heechul said with a soft laugh.

"That's why I said it's a bit complicate. You're not even a couple of lovey dovey matched partners. How could you answer all my questions?" He sighed, crossing his legs. "I don't even know if you know what it is to be in love. I should ask Jaejoong's parents."

"You should." Hangeng said quietly with a nod, but soon the man earned a punch on his shoulder.

"We're his parents. We should have some legitimacy to be able to answer all his curiosity." Heechul stated with determination.

"Okay... You're right." Hangeng could only comply to his matched partner's wishes. "So why are you asking us about love?" The man demanded, turning to look at his adoptive son.

"Because... Aish... I'm eighteen years old now. And I should be questioning about my future life... I know. I will live all my life with Hyo-Rim. But I don't want only our tie as matched partners between us. I want more than this feeling of survival. Is it too much to ask?"

Hangeng and Heechul looked at each other for a while feeling a bit lost.

"Are you in love with a girl... Aish..." Heechul rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know how to word what I want to ask you. Love and being who we are..." He sighed. "Those things don't really match together. Why is life so complicate?"

"That's why you never told me about the perfect Supplier and the perfect Receiver."

"You know... about... that..." Heechul muttered while looking at his adoptive son.

"I know. Changmin and others were the ones who told me about that. I felt as if you were trying to hide something from me... I am right?"

Hangeng sighed and ruffled Junsu's hair tenderly.

"It's not that we want to hide something from you. I'm a doctor and I know a lot of things about the process of choosing a Receiver and a Supplier to be paired up together. And with you being a bit too young I was scared to say something which should never be displayed to the public. At that time, my words could have no meaning for you. But, with time and the knowledge you gain by experiencing life yourself..." The man paused and took a deep breath, "...you could make your own conclusion... and you could hurt yourself more than necessary."

"I won't ask you how and why Receivers and Suppliers are chosen to be paired up. But could you answer me without lying to me?"

"Go ahead."

"Is Jang Geun-Suk my rightful Supplier?"

Heechul looked at Hangeng with a frown and fear in his eyes.

"Rightful you mean perfect Supplier?" Hangeng asked quietly, his eyes locked on Heechul.

Junsu nodded. "I just want to know..." The boy sighed. "Two years ago I was his stand in Receiver. And I did feel something much better doing the Power transfer with him than with Hyo-Rim..."

His words made Heechul heaved a forlorn sigh. It was what he feared the most when Junsu had applied to be a volunteer for those who needed a Supplier or a Receiver for a short time. He never liked the idea that his baby boy could run into the one who was supposed to be his Supplier before Hyo-Rim.

"I did see your file at the hospital." Hangeng added while looking at Heechul who was shaking his head, asking him not to tell anything to their son. "I can't say that he is your perfect Supplier. However, his wavelength mark complements yours better than Hyo-Rim." Hangeng finally said the truth that Heechul wanted so bad to hide.

"How much?"

"More than ninety five percent."

"I knew it..." Junsu sighed. Ninety five percent. It meant a lot, right? Even if it wasn't one hundred percent, it was a high number to prove to him that he was better with the other boy than with his poor Hyo-Rim.

"And what will you do now that you know about that?" Hangeng asked quietly, gripping Heechul's wrist to prevent the other man to leave the room without knowing what was Junsu's intention about the other boy.

"Nothing. I can't do anything." Junsu said with a sad smile. "He and I can't be together. It's not that I want him to be my matched partner or him wants me to be his matched partner. I have Hyo-Rim. He has his Receiver. And he was right to say that my problem isn't the fact that I want to have my rightful matched partner with me. My problem is that I don't know if I could stay with Hyo-Rim without feeling something for her... I... I can't marry her without any feelings."

"Junsu..." Heechul called his son out with a sad voice.

"I'm not like you." The teenage boy breathed out bitterly. "I witnessed your pains, your tears and your struggle all those years. Now... your relationship improved a bit. You can laugh and walk in the same road together... However, I don't want to be in the same situation as you two with her. She's a good girl. My Hyo-Rim deserves more than a life with false pretenses."

"You can try to love her." Heechul said in a low voice.

Junsu laughed bitterly, recalling what Changmin had said to him.

"How can I force myself to love her if my heart can't acknowledge her more than a friend?" He asked sadly. "How can people force themselves to be with someone when they don't love each other?"

"If she isn't the one for you... you could still marry a girl you love in the near future." Heechul tried to soothe his sadness away.

"It's even worse..." Junsu shook his head lightly. "My wife will never be important in my life than my matched partner... She will be the one who will give me a child... my flesh and blood... but she won't have all my attention... she won't have all the importance she should have as my rightful wife facing my matched partner... It to be who we are? Why are we born with this kind of metabolism which slows us down in everything... which makes us become heartless..." Junsu said with tears flowing down on his cheeks. "I don't want to be like my real appa... I don't want to be like you two... I don't want to hurt her... it would be better for all of us if I wasn't born..."

"Stupid duck !" Hyo-Rim entered Junsu's room and walked to her matched partner's bed with fury. She grabbed a pillow and threw it again and again to Junsu.

"Hyo-Rim." Heechul called the teenage girl, trying to stop her from beating his son more while Hangeng was trying to protect the poor crying boy from his furious matched partner.

"You should tell me all your worries. But no! Mister Kim Junsu wants to be the heroine of his own story. Aish! I'm in the same boat as you." The young girl shouted out loud with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

"Sorry..." Junsu said in low voice.

"You think I can fall in love with a poor boy like you?!" She yelled at the boy with her hands on her hips. "No, I want someone more manly than your pretty face as my companion. Like those good looking actors from all my dramas." She sat angrily on the soft mattress. "Gosh! You're a pathos. Wipe the snot running from your nose." Hyo-Rim fished out a handkerchief from her jacket and shoved it in front of her matched partner who took it in his hand. "Could you leave us alone?" She asked the two men who were looking at this couple of matched partners with an amused smile.

"Sure..." Hangeng said while nodding.

Soon the two men left their son's room and closed the door behind them, leaving those two have a serious discussion. Hangeng and Heechul looked at each other for awhile, hoping that everything would be alright for them and went downstairs.

"God... that boy..." Heechul breathed out sadly while taking a seat on the soft sofa. Worried about his son's behavior for the past days, the man had taken a day off to look after Junsu. Now he felt sorry for being the cause of his son's misery.

"Don't stress yourself too much."

"I am a part of his suffering..."

"If you are, I am too." Hangeng said quietly, sitting next to his matched partner. "He is too sensitive. But it shows us that our boy want to be happy. And we can't deny his happiness." Heechul could only nod to Hangeng's words. "I'm sorry for telling him about his real Supplier."

"Don't apologize." Heechul shook his head. "Junsu would find the truth sooner or later."

Hangeng nodded and rubbed small circles on his matched partner's back.

"What if... what if we were able to love each other...?"

"Don't think too much. Love, like and hate... it's what life is."

"You know... I don't hate you..." Heechul said quietly, interlacing his fingers with Hangeng's.

"I don't hate you either." Hangeng replied with a smile.

Meanwhile, in Junsu's room, the two matched partners were sitting in the soft bed facing each other with one trying to subdue his tears and other to calm her anger.

"Why are you here?" Junsu asked quietly, tending the handkerchief to his matched partner.

"Doing my duty." Hyo-Rim answered in the same tone, taking the clothe in her hands.

"Duty..." The teenage boy murmured.

"Sorry wrong word." She added while tugging a strand of her hair behind her ear.

The two teenagers looked at each other then smiled sadly and pressed their lips for a Power transfer.

"You know... now that we aren't children anymore we need to do the Power transfer more than once or twice in a day. And with all your worries in your stupid brain