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“Let us be like this for a while, Ae. I know I can’t have you, so just please at least let me be like this…” His whisper runs down my spine. He’s really serious about his feelings. Should I… Give him a chance? No. It will only hurt him more. But I cannot push him away, either. He’s been my friend for a long time.

I slowly pat his head; he lowered his body more so he can nuzzle on my neck deeper. B.I is sitting beside DongHyuk, which is in front of me. You know what’s weird? Even though I know the one who likes me and is holding me close to him right now is JunHoe, I can picture B.I took his place. All of that feels so… Perfect. I think I really am lovesick. I know we could never be together, but my heart just won’t accept the cold truth.

CHAPTER 11 -- GOOD MORNING~

Author’s POV

EunAe found herself on the bunk bead again, not remembering how on Earth she got there. “Maybe I fell asleep after watching the movie?” She mumbled softly. She was just about to get up from bed when she feels an arm wrapped around her body. Her eyes grew bigger when she saw the one who is sleeping soundly beside her.

His warmth radiating to her body, his arm wraps around her, like it belongs there. Everything seems so perfect, yet she knows this is just a fantasy. She never can have him. He’s right there, lying next to her. She studies his features; his eyebrows which usually furrowed more when he’s nervous, his eyelids which is kind of droopy if he’s really tired but still refused to sleep, his sharp nose, his soft thin lips, they always tempted her to kiss it.

Done staring, EunAe tried to leave the bed once again. “Stay still. Let’s just sleep a few minutes more.” She’s startled, but didn’t dare to utter a word. She slump back to bed, trying to do what the Leader asked her to, but it’s not working. “B.I, I can’t get back to sleep.” Her whisper fills the room. HanBin’s eyelids open one at a time, like how she always observed. “Wae? You are usually a sleepy head.”

“I had a lot of things on my mind.” EunAe answered, looking straight to the upper bed. “How can I be here? Why are you here? Don’t hug me like this comfortably; I’m not your girlfriend.”

HanBin’s POV

“How can I be here? Why are you here? Don’t hug me like this comfortably; I’m not your girlfriend.” There she goes again. I never confessed but it felt like she’s rejecting me already. Where are we right now? I know I like her. A lot. But she acts as if… She is building a wall. She’s blocking me sometimes. Like right now. She is acting all comfortable with the others, especially JunHoe, why can’t it be me?

“First, you fell asleep on the couch and you looked really uncomfortable, so I moved you here. Second, the bed really seemed nice and puffy so I just kind of… Sleep here. Third, because I want to. Why? You don’t like it?”

Lies.

All lies. She slept comfortably yesterday. Really comfortable. The problem is, she fell asleep in JunHoe’s embrace. I hate it. So I moved her. But she didn’t have to know that. I wanted to know how it felt like to hold her close to me, so I lay down beside her. It felt really comfortable, so I fell asleep. At least the ‘fell asleep’ part is true.

“Pssh~ Stop doing things as you like. Move your arm.” So, you wanted to push me away? No. “Shireo.”

“B.I…”

“I do things as I want.” I smirk. I’m going to annoy her a bit. “You’re going to annoy me again, aren’t you? Don’t ask how I knew what you are thinking. You smirk when you’re annoying me. That’s how I know.” 

“So… You admit that you are paying attention to my habit?”

“Geez. Shut it, B.I. Don’t act like I’m only paying attention to you. I pay attention to the others too.”

“What? Cat got your tongue?” She turned the table right now. I don’t know what to answer. “It’s just… The others hug you too! Why can’t I do the same thing?”

“I do things as I want.” She looks at me, smirking. You decided to copy me, huh? Fine. It’s on. “I’ll do things the way I wanted to, then.” I yank my arm, pulling her closer. She gasped, “Wha—Why—Aissh~” I chuckled, burying my face on the crook of her neck. “B.I! What the hell are you doing?” EunAe pushed me a bit until our eyes met.

“JunHoe did this too yesterday.”

“That’s because I let him do it.”

“So I am not allowed?” 

She paused, sighed, turning so she will be lying on her back again. “What is it that you want, B.I?” She whispers. You. I want you, Ae. But I can’t if you are acting this way. Stop building a wall. Please… Let me figure you out. Let me inside your heart. “Can I… Hug you like this for a while?” That’s all I can say. Stupid. Why are you so stupid, Kim HanBin. Just tell her how you feel!

She chuckled. “You are already hugging me, babo.” I smiled widely. I wrap my other hand around her, pulling her really close. “Thank you.” I mumbled. “What did you say?”

“Thank you. For letting me hug you. I never hug you before.” I put my chin on top of her head, smelling her hair fragrance. “You hug me once. When I come back from Germany.”

“Ahh~ Right.” After that, silence lingers around us. It’s really quiet, but comfortable. Having her in my arms feels nice.

Suddenly, I hear a grumbling sound coming from EunAe. “Sorry. My stomach needs to be filled, I guess.” I laugh. She really is an omnivore. “Whaaat? Stop laughing. You know I eat a lot. You do to. So stop laughing!” My laugh only gets louder than before.

“B.I~ Stop laughing.”

“Sorry… You’re just… How can there be a girl that likes to eat a lot like you?” I said in the middle of my laugh. EunAe sits herself up, facing me. “I have two reasons. Number one, because food is delicious. Number two, because I am not like those other girls who like to go on a diet even though they already look like a walking skeleton.”

I laugh again. Gosh~ I haven’t laugh this much in a while. Her answers are truthful, and I don’t know why, but it came out funny. “Okaay~ Let’s dig the fridge.”

EunAe’s POV

Their fridge is full of food! Aigoo~ I can pig myself a lot if I live in their place. They don’t even eat these stuffs. Egg, bacon, cheese… Omo! There is even a pack of chocolate. I like chocolate. “Stop staring at the chocolate, Ae.” I turn my head to the back, looking at B.I, who is smirking while crossing his arms across his chest, lying back at the kitchen counter.

“You’re trying to annoy me again, aren’t you? Stop doing that if you want breakfast.” He changed his attitude immediately, now looking at me with puppy eyes. “…And don’t even try to be cute. It’s even worse.”

“Yes, Maaaam~” He make a mocking salute, making me laugh. Pssh~ Stupid idiot. How can I fall for this guy? That makes me a stupid idiot too, then. “Quiet, B.I. The others are still sleeping.” JunHoe and Bobby are on the couch, while the DongHyuk is on the floor. I think JinHwan and YunHyeong-hyung went back to their room.

“Riggght~ So what are you cooking? Wait… Can you even cook?”

“Pssh~ Says a guy who eat food from the convenience store.”

“Hey! Bobby-hyung did that too!”

“That’s why you two are called the DoubleB. B is for Babo.” I grinned evilly. He pouted a bit, pretending to look hurt.

“Just kidding, B.I. The fans made ‘DoubleB’ because they Bobby-B.I pairing.”

“Wait. Pairing? So they ship me and Bobby-hyung together? How gay does it sound?” I held my laugh, afraid it will wake the others up.

“Yeaah~ That kind of pairing.”

“I’m straight!!! I like girls.” I eyed him suspiciously, cocking my eyebrows up. “What? Do you think I’m gay?!” I don’t answer his question. I already know what the answer is. None of them is gay, actually. Bobby and B.I. are just really close to each other; their bromance makes other people wonder whether they are straight or not. I decided to make an American Style breakfast, like Mom used to do.

“EunAe-ya. You… Don’t tell me you think I’m gay. That’s why you are acting weird to me sometimes.” I furrowed my eyebrow. Even though he cannot see me, since I am facing the stove, I think he knows that I am thinking about his words.

“You did, didn’t you?”

“No. I know you’re straight B.I.”

“Why are you acting weird to me sometimes?”

“I don’t.”

“You did.”

“What?”

“See? You are acting weird right now in this moment. You try to change the topic. Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Gosh. EunAe! Stop acting like this! Stop building a wall between you and me. You are comfortable around the others, but why not me? Sometimes you would look away when I am talking to you, or you would answer me coldly. Do you hate me? It’s like you can’t stand being with me. Sometimes you are really nice, and it confuses me, Ae.”

I look away because I can’t stand looking at your face, looking at your eyes. I always find myself looking, no, staring at your side profile because you attract me that much. I answer you coldly and shortly because I don’t want you to hear my trembling voice. I am that nervous around you. It’s a good thing I am cooking right now so I can divide my attention. I am a nice person, but I admit I am building a wall. The one who can break it is only my brother and DongHyuk-ie. Deep inside, I am sure, you can break it too, B.I. Just… It’s not now, maybe some time soon.

“What are you talking about?” I decided to play cool. He sighed deeply, taking large step towards me. Andwae~ This is too close. He’s going to hear my heart beats rapidly. “Ae.” He pauses for a while, not breaking eye contact. “Don’t act bipolar. It confuses me. Do you hate me or not?”

“No.” I love you, but I can only say this inside my head, my heart.

“Why are you like this?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Don’t act differently towards me. You only act comfortable around the others. Specially JunHoe. You like him that much?” So he thinks I like JunHoe? How stupid can this guy be? I like you, B.I. Not JunHoe. You can’t even see that? Am I… Hiding my feelings too much?

“I do like him. He’s a good friend.”

“A good friend? You don’t like him in a boyfriend-girlfriend way?” Aigoo~ This kid. He’s back at being stupid again. “ANIYOOO~ Just stop asking okay? It’s getting annoying.” I saw him flash a smile. What does that even mean? He’s glad that I’m not dating JunHoe? No. No. Dream on, Ae. He might have someone already right now. A pretty actress, a model, or maybe a girl rapper. Yup.

I continue cooking in silence, while B.I plays with his phone. I think it is ‘Fantasy Knight’ again. I divided the bacon, pancakes, and some vegetables in seven plates. Scrambled eggs are for DongHyuk, YunHyeong-hyung, and JinHwan-hyung. The sunny side up is for me, JunHoe, B.I, and Bobby. Breakfast is served!

“Leader-nim, wake the others up, please.”

“Later.”

“Aigoo~ You are losing anyway. Double tap here and here for triple combo.” I tap his phone, showing him the combo moves. I play this game sometimes, when I had free time. “WHOOAA~ HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?” Bobby suddenly appears from behind me, making me jump a little.

“You mean… You guys don’t know this combo?” I asked, putting his plate and B.I’s plate on the kitchen counter. “Naah~ We don’t play that much.” Bobby answered. The others are popping their heads to the kitchen, rubbing their eyes. “Morning DongDong-ah!” I said happily. I miss the old times when I will sleep over at his place. He’s really busy right now; I hope he got good sleep. “Morning Ae.” He answered back, hugging me by the waist.

“What is it with you guys and hugging her?!” B.I suddenly snaps, eyeing me and DongHyuk. “Wae? Jealous hyung?” He snuggled to me closer, making B.I looks pissed. Is he really pissed though? I sometimes wonder what’s inside that head of his. “Whoa. You make me breakfast?” DongHyuk beams, taking a fork from the cabinet, ready to eat.

“It’s scrambled eggs, too! You still remember?” I smile widely, glad that he’s happy with the food. “Who cook you food when nobody’s at home?”

“You.”

“Riight~ Who got nagged all day because of the egg?”

“You.”

“Right again. So I won’t forget what kind of egg you like for breakfast.”

The others are all gathering inside the kitchen, taking their plates and orange juices for breakfast. “It reminds me of home…” Bobby said softly, pausing a bit. His smile faded for a while. He loves his family a lot. Even though he didn’t show it to us, but sometimes when he’s all quiet and seems like he had something in his mind, I know he’s thinking about his family. “Bobby…”

“It’s okay,  EunAe-ya! Thanks for cooking me this! Remind me to brag about you when I Skype Mom, okay?” He grins cheekily again.

“Why would you brag about EunAe to your Mom, hyung?” JunHoe, being quiet since he woke up joined the conversation. “So Mom would know how great of a daughter-in-law she is!” I choked. I really choked. DongHyuk laughs, while B.I hands me a cup of water. “Thanks, Leader-nim.” I said softly.

“Bobby~ Why are you talking as if we’re getting married?”

“You don’t want to get married with me?”

“NOOOO.” Me, JunHoe, B.I, and DongHyuk cried at the same time. YunHyeong-hyung just laughs, while JinHwan-hyung shakes his head. “Why are you guys being like this?” Bobby asked, looking hurt. “You’re too mushy, hyung. She can get diabetes of your sweet words.” B.I answered. “She doesn’t even like you romantically.” JunHoe added. “What he said.” I pointed my fork to JunHoe as he flinch. “Careful with that.”

“What’s your reason then, DongHyuk-ie?” Bobby asked. “Me? I don’t want to share my EunAe.” He answered with a ‘Mehrong’ face. “Aissh~ You guys. Stop being foolish. You are going to embarrassed yourselves.” JinHwan joined, chewing the pancake into his mouth. “How do you know I like scrambled eggs, Ae?” He added after he swallowed the food. “I don’t. I remember DongHyuk likes it scrambled, B.I and Bobby usually eats the same thing so I made the sunny side up for them because I saw Bobby eat that one time. The others are purely my hunch.” I gulped down my orange juice.

“See~ She made a really great house wife.” There he goes again. Bobby and me being his wife thing. “Really hyung, what’s up with you? Yesterday you were all ‘Baby’-ing EunAe as if she is your girl, now she becomes your ‘Wife’?” JunHoe asked, putting his already done plate in the sink. This kid sure eats fast. “Wae? You don’t like it?” “No.” I poked JunHoe lightly, motioning him to just be quiet.

“Alright. Stop it you guys~ Bobby is just joking around.” JinHwan-hyung, feeling the tense in JunHoe’s stares, trying to ease the mood. “Yeah. I was just joking maknae. I’m not going to steal your girl anyway.” I was drinking my orange juice again when he said that. I almost choke again. Geez. Bobby, can’t you just shut up? I can’t believe he’s older than me by two years.

JunHoe’s reaction is even worst. He blushed. The serious maknae just blushed. As long as I’ve known him, he only blushes two times. The first time was yesterday night. Aigoo~ The others’ antics are not helping at all. Bobby and YunHyeong-hyung are howling like idiots. “Did you just blush, Goo JunHoe?” DongHyuk asked, while JinHwan-hyung patted JunHoe’s shoulder, as if giving him encouragement.

JunHoe’s POV

What should I do? Why did I have to blush? Why can’t I control when to blush and when to not? Hyung-deul are all teasing me. Aigoo~ EunAe just continues to eat. It must have been awkward for her too. I noticed HanBin-hyung being suddenly silent. He only looks down on his plate. Usually he’s the noisiest one along with Bobby-hyung. “EunAe-ya! I’ve just got a brilliant idea!” DongHyuk suddenly chirped. “Mwo?” EunAe answered shortly, putting her plate inside the sink alongside with the others’. “Because it’s your birthday today, moreover the first one you ever spent with the six of us without your family, you need to do something different from the other years.”

Psshh~ What is it with Kim DongHyuk? Spending her birthday with us is already a different thing. “Something different?” She asked, tapping her fingers on the table as she sits back beside me. “Eo. Like something you do only for today. The time is until midnight.” “Something that I haven’t done before, right?” She added again, now trailing her eyes to each and every one of us. What is she thinking?

“It sounds fun… Okay! I’ll agree with it.” DongHyuk smiles happily. “What are you going to do?” JinHwan-hyung asked. “Let’s see… Something I’ve never done before, right? I really never did this to anyone ever.” “There are a lot of things you haven’t done, EunAe-ya.” DongHyuk stated.

“Yeaahh… I’ve already got something in mind, though. It’s going to involve all of you.” “All of us?” I asked, turning my body facing her. “Yup. I am going to call you guys using ‘Oppa’ for the whole day. Once it passes midnight, I’ll go back to calling you guys by your name again.”

Whooaa~ EunAe is willing to call all of us ‘Oppa’? Really? EunAe, the girl that got corrupted by me, hence turn into a disobeying maknae sometimes? “DEAL.” DongHyuk and Bobby-hyung said at almost the same time. The two of them are most eager to be called ‘Oppa’ anyways.

“Okay Okay! Call my name with ‘Oppa’ now!” Bobby-hyung said. “JiWon-oppa~” Everyone in the room are suddenly quiet. JiWon? JIWON!? Jinjja this girl~ How can she be a different person in a matter of seconds? I see Bobby-hyung flushed a little, and then he’s laughing awkwardly. “Ne~ Jalhaesso EunAe-ya~” Bobby-hyung reached his hand to EunAe’s head, patting it. Aishh~ This hyung. Wait—Am I jealous? I’m not supposed to be jealous. Moreover to Bobby-hyung.

“Do aegyo!” DongHyuk said, or more like, ordered EunAe to do. “Shireoyo.” “Where’s the ‘Oppa’ for me?” “The more I think about it, you don’t fit to be my oppa.” “Who fits then?” “JinHwan-oppa. He’s the nicest. YunHyeong-oppa, B.I-oppa, and Bobby-oppa are all okay too. Junnie-oppa is cool too.” She smirks. “WHA—That’s everyone except me!”

“Just accept it, Dong-ah. She likes me the best.” JinHwan-hyung replied to his tantrums, while we all just laugh.

Author’s POV

“EunAe! Who is the best rapper in the team?” Bobby asked, once they all decided to play ‘Jenga’ together. “No… No… Who is the cutest in the team?” DongHyuk joined. “Guys, stop it. You know the answers already, okay? You just want me to call your names attached with ‘Oppa’ behind it.” The girl said, as a matter of fact. “Yeah~ That’s true.” Bobby stated. “Besides, I also like B.I-oppa’s rap and JinHwan-oppa is also cute without even trying. So just cut it off.” Bobby and DongHyuk then chuckles.

YunHyeong is now carefully pulling out a block from the middle of the tower, and then putting it back to the top without making the whole thing falls down. JunHoe’s turn comes next. “You guys really have nothing to do today?” EunAe asked after finishing her turn which is right after JunHoe. “No. There is nothing for today. We’ll get back to practice for tomorrow, and then there is an interview and a meeting with some staffs from Inkigayo the day after.” HanBin answered, explaining their schedules to her.

“You guys are really busy~” She commented. “Yeah~ But it’s all worth it. Being on stage is our dream after all.” The Leader answered back. “I am bored~” The cute maknae sighs, after he place his block on top of the tower.

“What do you want to do?” His best friend asked. She is collecting all the pieces of the game and then putting it inside the box neatly. “Let’s go out!” The bunny-like-rapper proclaimed, as if he just come up with an amazing theory. “Is it okay with you guys? You do realize that I need to tag along, right?” The boys are all looking at each other with a grin. Who could know what are they planning in their heads?

Author's Note:

Sorry I took long to update, guys. I know the reason is common, but yeah... SCHOOL.

They added more period than it's suppose to be. (TT.TT) So instead of just going home when school ends, I need to study more for two hours, and then go home. Ppsssh~

Anyhow, enough about my rants, have you guys watch 'Winner's Empty'? YOU MUST WATCH IT! Quick quick click on the link! Kkk.

It is the song that HanBin composed. The song is catchy and light, but it's deep in meanings. Uuugghh~ My HanBin feels. The song is actually about the emptiness they felt after WIN, right? But the lyrics sounds lik it was directed towards a girl. Hmm... Is he talking about his one sided love again? Let's just pick one of your fans to date, Leader-nim! *raises hand*

I am really excited about their debut, but, honestly speaking, even though I am their fan --not going to try to protect them or anything-- when I listened to the other tracks, all the songs sound similar, right? Like there is not a particular thing that put differences to it. 'Smile Again' is quiet different, though. Well, let's just say the album gives us a lot of 'Kang SeungYoon-feels'. Kkk. You can also watch 'Winner's Color Ring'!

Well, even though it is a bit bland, for me that is, Oppa-deul put a lot of effort at making it, right? You guys who have watched WIN and WINNER TV must know their hard works. Like... Listening to Yang-Sajangnim spats and rants at them for stuffs. So we need to support them! Maybe we can vote for them as 'The Best Newcomer' at MAMA? Hmmm... Kkk.

When I first saw them, it's like... "MinHo is really cool!" And then during WINNER TV, "Oh! TaeHyun is really witty!" Because of the teaser photos, I was like, "GOSH JINWOO~ Look at that face with that expression! He could be a CF Model." When watching the MV I was like, "SeungHoon~"

Yeah... Yeah... I know. Like I don't have any favorite member, and I am eyeing on everyone except SeungYoon. Psshh~

Sorry for the long Author-note. Kkk. I hope you enjoy reading this chappie~