Calling - dulcee
Literature Mused Reviews
Title : His Cactus, Her Love
Author : dulcee
Reviewer : Claraine
@ Literature Mused Reviews
First Impression Section
Title [3.5/5]
It wasn’t very appealing, to be truthful. After reading it, all I could guess was that the cactus was metaphorically Yooae. Am I right? Anyways, it's still really unique. So that brought your score up a bit.
Foreword & Description [9/10]
It’s awesome and serves its purpose well, luring me into turning to the next page. Since it’s an introduction, it’s good that you introduced the characters out short and simple. I love the extract you picked for your foreword; that part is interesting just by itself. It doesn’t confuse readers either, unlike some of the extracts on foreword (in other stories) which makes readers question, and not in a good way.
Graphics [3/5]
It’s kind of simple, and personally, I do find it too greenish. Still, poster looks fine. I love how the title’s written on a piece of ripped paper.
Sub-Total [15.5/20]
Creation Section
Originality [25/30]
It’s not something we see every day. However, an ‘almost-nobody’ who’s crushing hard on a kingka isn’t that new. To me, it’s rather original because of the unexpected little ideas all over the story. The part she went blind-dating and MyungSoo couldn’t recognize her is a good example of what I'm talking about.
Storyline / Plot [27/30]
I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing. It’s hilarious, the way you write it. One thing, on the sixth chapter, I think it’s slightly too detailed and readers’ spasm of emotions might get mild. I got so excited at the part where she confessed though.
Language [19/20]
I spotted a missing word in the first part of foreword and slight spelling mistakes. Proofread and you’ll find it with ease. Anyways, the technicalities were overall really good. There were Occasional spelling mistakes found with suitable choice of words. But you were grammatical mistake-free. Thumbs up!
Flow of Story [20/20]
It can’t flow any better; the speed of storyline is just right in conjunction with the length of chapters written. It’s amazing how you wrote it.
Sub-Total [91/100]
Bonus Section
Characterization [9/10]
I love the way you portray MyungSoo being unintentionally slow and blunt. And being a kingka, I understand that he has to be a gentleman in the eyes’ of girls. I’m glad that you bother to write that part out.
About Yooae persona, I’m glad that she’s not another typical almost-nobody-but-daringly-running-after-a-kingka-claiming-him-her-own girl, or a innocently-needs-protection-gets-pity-from-guy girl. She has the shy and hesitant side of a girl, which I like.
As for Airi being a mystery... It just doesn’t feel right. It gives out that she’s going to be a mysterious antagonist which I see in a lot of stories. Surprise me if she isn’t.
Style of Writing [10/10]
It’s perfect, the way you describe the scenarios. I could imagine it in my head. You expresses storyline clearly to readers without being verbose, yet you don’t arouse confusion. Double thumbs up!
Captivity [5/5]
I can’t believe it. I was reading it during midnight, when I was supposed to be in bed as I’d school the next day. Still, I kept on clicking ‘next’ and assured myself that the chapter would be the last one, but I ended up finish all six in one go. I can’t wait for next update!
Format & Layout of Story (Neatness) [4/5]
I like the way you separate different scenes with a neon green bar. The story’s easy to read, but the font size is slightly small for those using Mozilla Firefox. Unlike IE, that program doesn’t enable its users to alter the font size of words.
Sub-Total [28/30]
Total [134.5/150] /[89.6/100]
I tried to review the story real strict but it’s still one of the stories that scored scarily well. It's my honour getting to review this one/
By the way, Airi is not in a relationship with Myungsoo right?
It would make the storyline a un-fresh if that’s what going to happen.
Still, this part is so a mystery and I’m not taking it into consideration of the review.
I love it, you rock, dulcee!
Oh, and hwaiting!
You heard the girl. She loves your story. So...
you're featured. :)
CONGRATS!
*** Please be sure to post this as a chapter of your story. This chapter may be removed in the future, so you can never be too sure. ***
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