Fanfiction: 100 Days to Love

Author: iamkristinefaye

Title: 3/5

The title is a bit cliché since there are many titles which have similar titles and it doesn’t interest the readers as much. It does however capture the feelings of romance in it which is what the story is about. The word ‘love’ obviously shows it is going to be a romance story.

Ways to improve could be to think of better titles that make the reader want to click on your story. ‘100 Days to Love’ isn’t mysterious so it doesn’t create an urge feeling to read the story. The title just says the basic timeline which is a hundred days.

Description/Foreword: 2/5

The description/foreword was truly lacking and I wouldn’t read your story based on it. Your structure was inaccurately placed; it should be a blurb in the description, then the character descriptions if you wish and finally any credits, author’s note and story recommendation.

The description had character’s description instead. Description is another word for blurb which is found at the back of a book. So people read blurb first and if you write the character’s personality there; it doesn’t persuade the readers at all.  Also, having personality descriptions is not the best thing in a story since it gives away the power for us readers to imagine their personality ourselves. It seems as if you put the info their so that you don’t have to in the chapters.

The foreword was nothing that persuaded me either. It had a line which was boring and dull since it only question the title. Foreword/Description is provided to describe the plot in a mysterious way so that the people want to click next.

Overall; I would advise you to work on your foreword/description in future and add techniques such as questions and suspense so that you will capture more interest from readers.

Poster/Background: 4/5

The poster and background did show that it was a romantic comedy but the poster and background didn’t match each other. The background was white swirls but the poster was pink and green. I would suggest choosing a background that is a similar colour to your poster.  It makes the story look neat and more appealing that having different colours all over the place.

Plot: 3/5

The baseline plot was cliché and I wish you could have improved more on creating an original and persuasive plot. The plot has loads of secondary ideas sometimes making your story have too much to read to. Expand the idea into three more chapters before adding another one since readers will be able to grasp the idea. In future, try adding a surprise twist at the end so the readers won’t be disappointed with the expectations.

Flow: 8/10

The flow was a bit too fast and I wish you could have slowed it down a bit. Explain scene more in detail and depth. It makes your chapters longer and helps readers understand the situation more. I thought things were rushed too quickly so I wasn’t able to grasp the situation before another was thrown in.

Writing Style: 8/10

Your sentences are good but you tend to use short sentences a lot and even though you put the word ‘but’ in your sentences, you cut them into two. Using conjunction is a helpful way to make you stories longer. Your punctuation usage was great as you used things like colons. Also, making colours different when a person speaks is unnecessary. You use speech marks which indicate that the person is speaking so why need a speech mark?  In future, only having speech marks is fine and try making your sentences longer.

Originality: 6/10

I read many stories which have plots like this so I wasn’t as intrigue. Romance story are always more likely to be in the cliché term so I did know what was going to happen next so it wasn’t interesting for me. I would say if/when making a romance story; you should think of ideas that are realistic yet have never or rarely been written in AFF.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary: 18/20

I couldn’t highlight your mistakes since you tick anti-copy sign but I was pleased with your language. It didn’t have spelling mistakes and the punctuation was used excellently. I would say I spotted minor grammar mistakes such as ‘can’ and ‘could’. In rare occasion, you change the present to past or vice versa. The vocabulary was good however try to use thesaurus to attend more descriptive words.

Characterization/Details: 17/20

The characterisation was perceived well. I could sense Soyeon and Dongwoon personality; they stood out during most chapters making me see their personality clearly. But it was just statement I could make of their personality. I couldn’t go deeper to what their feelings might be. It was a straightforward feeling and I wish you could describe instead of state.

Overall Enjoyment:  7/10

I enjoyed reading it however I was cringing at the plot which I sometimes was disappointed with. I am not a t-araxb2st fan but I was happy to review it. Improvements to make are description/foreword and your plot/originality. Your grammar/punctuation/spelling/vocabulary are your strongest point so far and I think that if you just think of more original plot; you will become a great writer!

Total: 66/100

- KpopLover15751 (reviewer)