“Even if I cheat, don´t you ever cheat, baby

Even if I forget you, don´t you ever forget me, lady

If once in a while I don´t contact you and I go out to drink

Even if I ever meet another girl´s gaze

Loon only at me„

~ Taeyang - Look only at me

The sunrays picked within the window hiting Seungri´s face with it´s wormth. Slightly gruning for forgeting to close the curatin last night, he rolled over, pulling the thick blanket over his head. Just five more minutes Seungri told himself, altough it always took more than that. Being a sleepyhead never played in his favor.

The only thing that ruined his beautifull dream was the alarm clock. Shut up Shut up....Seungri growled, still burried in his cacooned blanket. 

How dared that abomination from hell wich wake him from the most beautifull dream ever. There was Top in the dream. They were at the beach, walking by the shore and contemplating the sunset. Unfortunately reality hit harder. Instead, he was home, alone without Top, completely miserable.

Lifting his lazy from the bed, Seungri pushed the blanket away and finally stoped the alarm clock. Stretxhing his bones, he went to the bathroom and took care of his water procedures.

After that, he went to the kitchen and imediatly made himself a giant cup of coffe. He needed his head fresh and awake. First of all, he had yet another torturing day of work, second he had a lot on his plate to rethink and analyze with a fresh eye and third he desperately needed to discuss everything with his bestie.

As he got clothed, he couldn´t stop thinking how would he face Jiyoung. He didn´t even thought about everything yet talk about it. There were so many doubts. Frankly he wasn´t sure all the time in the world was enough. He hated that he was being so indecisive. If he was so happy with Top and felt loved and safe, then why was he still doubting? Shouldn´t this decision be easy? Sure his past with Jiyoung was significative and he still cared for him but wasn´t that in the past already? That´s what scared Seungri the most at the moment. Because if the past wasn´t the past yet, then he would end up hurting tthe person in his present and he loved him too much to do that.

Seungri thougth that by the light of the day his mind would be clearer, instead nothing changeg. More questions were filling his mind. How the hell did I got into this mess?

Sighing, Seungri took the keys and left the house.

***

 At work eveything went smoothly. Seungri concentrated his mind on the dance. He was glad the others jokes cheered him up and he could breath a little. The choreographer still worked their asses off though. That never changed.

He saw the dragon a couple of times too but he was glad their paths didn´t cross. It seemed that he was giving him space and Seungri was glad for that. He knew him well. He could see in his face the worry, exhaustion and impatience. Nothing changed there either. He almost felt sorry for him but that  wasn´t of his concern anymore. 

All that mattered now was to figure everything out and end this chapter in his life as soon as possible.

***

- Hi Dae, how are you? - Seungri quickly got up and hugged his bestie. They agreed to have lunch and discuss over it all that troubled Seungri. He needed help and support right now.

- Hey Ri, I´m good, yourself?

- You know, tired - Seungri replied and they sat down - but good - he inhaled the exhaled hard.

- Alright then, spill the beens and spare no details brother - Dae demanded imediatly. He knew he had missed a lot and he was dying to know every single juicy detail.

- Hello, welcome to xxxxxx. I´ll be your waiter today. Here´s the menu - The waiter interrupted, annoying Deasung a little bit - I´ll be back to get your order.

- No no..wait - Daesung stoped him before he left - We´ll have pizza and also bring the shrimp salad - He ordered and Seungri felt like he was having a deja vu. It reminded him of the lunch he had the previous day.

- I´ll be back with your order - the waiter said and left. Clearly he wasn´t needed there.

- Alright then, talk - Daesung said as he supported his head on the palm of his hand.

- Alright, well... - Seungri hesitated. He wasn´t sure what to start with - Yesterday Jiyoung and I had lunch together.

- No way and you waited for so long to tell me...wait...what about the night you left the party together?

- Oh yeah, he just gave me a ride home that´s all and we agreed to meet and talk - Seungri said. The fact that he stayed inside his apartment wasn´t a necessary detail right now.

- And what did he say?

- Well, he apolgised for everything and he sounded very sincere you know.

- He should be sorry after what he did - Daesung said but quickly composed himself. He knew that his anger towards Jiyoung wasn´t going to make Seungri any better.

- Also he said he still loves me and he missed me, well basically he wants to give it another try.

- Oh, really? but do you want to? I mean you´re with Top now.

- Yeah I am and I ....I don´t know Dae. He told me that we haven´t officially broke up and he won´t give up. I´m just so tired already of thinking and feeling.

- What do you mean? You told me left hi