I still feel like you’re next to me everyday when i open my eyes
Can’t we turn the times back that we’ve been together 

G-dragon - Missing you
 

Regret must be one of the most painfull words in the dictionary. Have you ever thought about it? If you lived your life so far without regreting any choice or words you have said then you basically succeeded in life already. It must be wonderfull not having that heavy feeling over your heart and consciousness that keeps bugging you in every nightmare. 

But what if it´s too late to take it back? What if your words have no more value once they were spilled like poison? What if it costed you a very expensive price? But most importantly what if you lost the most important person in your life due something said or done while hot headed?

What do you do when you feel like you screwed up big time and your hopeless attempts of making it better are rejected?

When a couple quarell and they say or do something they regret later, they put their pride aside and apologise for everything as they try to get past the issue. But is it that easy? Most will say if the love is strong enough, the couple will get pass any fire or wall that get´s in the way.

But then again, what if love isn´t enough? What if you hurt your lover in the most painfull way you can imagine? How much of apologies are enough? 

Relantiosnhip are not only about puppies and rainbows. Along with it, comes a very challenging and doubtfull road. It´s not easy when it becomes serious, and that´s where trust and understanding comes. If you´re willing to go down this road you have to be prepared, both mentally and physically.

Both have to work together in unison for it to work which sometimes is not easy. Until you grow customed to each others rhythm, you will stumble into a few bumps in the road. But with each other´s help you can overcome it.

Just like a plant, if you don´t take the responsability for it, eventually it will die. A relantionship so it can live it´s needs to be taken care with love, otherwise it will dry off. 

Many misunderstandings happened due of lack os trust, jealousy and hot headed decisions, which led to many regrets. Funny how we only think about it after the evil has been said or done already.

Only when our lover is no longer in our arms we regret. 

Only when they are happy with someone else we regret what we did.

Regret is such a painfull word. Like a sucubus, it bittes us back while it away the joy from our lives. Only when we experience loneliness, pain and misery we realise the cost of our words and desicions.

Regret is a very powerfull force and if you shouldn´t ever let it consume you, otherwise you will end becoming something you will despise yourself. 

Jiyoung´s mind was consumed by regrets. All of them were about his beloved Seungri. But he wouldn´t dare to call him his after everything he has said to him. He hurt the most important person in his life due it´s own jealoussy and doubts which should never have crossed his mind in the first place.

Seungri was always so full with joy and hapiness. The amount of love he could give was beyond imaginary thoughts. He was always so kind, caring and understanding that Jiyoung couldn´t but blame himself for ever doubting that. He was far from the man he was supposed to be. When he should have showed his support, he gave nothing but cold words. Words he will regret forever.

Regrets were chasing him through his nightmares like a predator chases his pray. They showed no mercy on him, ravishing him alive. No amount of alcohol could be enough to drown his sorrows or realease him from the piercing pain. 

Jiyoung´s eyes became numb from the amount of tears that he has been flooding his cheeks with. Once he stood step inside his house his hands automatically grabed onto the bottle. He drank all night, sipping the alcohol down his throat like it was water.

Last night he couldn´t resist the itching curiousity and followed Seungri home after work. They haven´t spoken since the night he helped him with his foot. The younger male was avoiding him like Jiyoung was the plague. But what hurt him more wasn´t how Seungri was obviously running away from him. He deserved that and probably more. But no, what hurt him more was the fact that he couldn´t do anything to erase the pain he caused. Jiyoung couldn´t see the happinnes he once saw into Seungri´s eyes. Whenever their eyes crossed al he could see was a cold stare, and his heart cringed everytime. All he wanted was to crawl at Seungri´s feet and beg for his forginess. 

But maybe that wouldn´t be enough? What if his words were no longer worthy if his ears? Jiyoung was lost. Had he the right to aproach him in the first place and fight for his love? He wasn´t sure. As far as he knew, his actions could do more damage. He was afraid to think of the state his baby was left.

He wanted to turn around to go home but his feet weren´t listening. Instead they fallowed his former lover till his house. He fallowed until it was too late. His eyes saw what he wanted to deny so much.

Seungri was greeted by another man. They shared a warm hug and kisses which killed him inside. Every touch they shared was enough to drive him mad. As muh as he wanted to go there and punch the man in th