because its 2 am, my reports and assignments are pending and my sad song playlist is on repeat

1. Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

Haneul looked at her wall. She reached out and traced the frame of the photo hanging on the empty wall in the living room. She didn't know when she had put it up, or if she had been the one to put it up and not the moving company. Her fingers lingered on the edge before sliding off.

How many years had it been? One? Two?

2012

So three years. She had moved into the apartment three years ago and had never bothered to look at the wall in her own living room. She firmly took the picture and put it on the floor, the picture facing the wall instead. She had taken a decision three years ago to leave everything behind and come to Seoul. She was not the type to regret her decisions. It was the best she could do in those circumstances. There was no one to blame in the situation. No right or wrong.

She was going to walk away from the frame. She turned away decisively. Her slumped back straightened with the necessary discipline for the action. But her grip on her wine glass loosened.

No she couldn't do it.

She took a gulp of wine and kept the glass away. She kept the glass on the kitchen counter and returned to the picture frame. she sat down, turning the photo around. It was a photo of her and her ex boyfriend Jongdae. Taken three years ago in Seoul when they had gone to visit the cherry blossoms in the last year of spring.

She had known back then that it would be one of the last few moments they spent together before Jongdae left to go study music in London. She had known that they had needed a clean healthy break. It was all business.

So. why. did. it. still. hurt?

So why did she still keep his sweater, his broken watch, his scarf, his photographs, his letters?

Had she really moved on? What if...? What if she had never really gotten over it? His memories were still present. On idle days when Haneul would slow down, she would think of him. Little things would trigger bittersweet reminiscence. Things like, hot chocolate on snowy days, green tea lattes and how fancy they sound but how horrible they tasted, lousy cheesy lines in romantic movies.

She took a brief moment to wonder. Did she ever cross his mind?

She picked up the photo frame. She unscrewed the bolts at the back to get the photo out. She tucked it away in her diary before going to bed. The ungodly hour and the wine must have been getting to her head. Nights like this had happened before. Nights where she sometimes thought of what could have been, what was and what had gone wrong.

She reached out to her phone and opened the Contacts app. She effortlessly browsed down to the number she should have deleted long ago. Her finger hovered over the call button.

The ungodly hour had gotten to her head, she decided as she attached the phone to its charger.

2. This Ain't It - Taeyang

Life isn't a movie.

Jongin doesn't know what he expected really. Did he think it would be so simple? Was it that easy to forget an old love and throw yourself into the arms of someone new?

There were nights where he would sit with his phone. He would type long replies about how he missed Sehun, but his ego wouldn't let him send those messages. He still loved him. He missed him more than he hated him for leaving. The hollow longing for love had replaced the anger and frustration from the problems. Even denial had faded as Jongin had come to terms with his feelings.

He was sorry. this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. He had messed up big time. He didn't how to fix it.

What would happen now? was it too late? Had Sehun moved on? Jongin didn't have the courage to seek answers to those questions. Heck, he didn't think he had enough guts to face him or look at him as they passed each other by on the streets. Perfect strangers. One with feelings he couldn't convey and one who got tired of waiting. Perhaps he would hide, even if it lay these insignificant feelings to waste.

They were so happy at the beginning. When had the warmth of love been replaced by cold insecurities and doubts? When had they these marks turned to scars? Had they been so blinded by love that they hadn't noticed these faults?

Perhaps it was too late. Jongin sighed. He was tired. He was pathetic wasn't it? Maybe it was time to bury the past and let the dead be, instead of digging up graves and inflicting fresh wounds.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.