So we somehow ended up at what seemed to be the only meat restaurant in Gangnam, and I greeted our waiter, Sehun, as we walked in.  He led us to our table, and he immediately brought back a plate of meat for us to grill.

“Could we please have beer as well?” Joonmyun asked.

When Sehun returned with the beer, Joonmyun poured a glass for everyone.  I stared at the alcohol, hesitant, but knew that refusing to drink would be rude.  So, in hopes that no one would notice my hesitance, I started to grill the meat.

“You’ve really done well since I left for Japan, hyung,” Joonmyun said, downing the glass in one gulp.  “I was surprised when I saw you in the paper this morning.”

“Oh, really?” Kris downed a shot as well.  “I never realized.”  He poured a glass for Joonmyun (who I will, from now on, refer to as Joonmoney), and he poured another for himself.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat. 

At that point, they were so into their little drinking game that it didn’t even matter if I drank my glass or not.

“I’m not going back to Japan.”

“Oh, really?” Kris grinned.  “Then I guess we’ll be enemies again.”

They both downed another glass.  I glanced at Yuri, who stared at the two with an amused expression, and began to eat.  I was the only one eating, but since Joonmoney was paying, I had no worries at all.

Yuri sighed.  “They’re at it again.”

“They do this often?”

“Well,” Yuri replied, “they would always get super competitive over everything in high school.  I guess nothing’s changed.”

“Oh.” I nodded.

“We should probably stop them, but it’ll probably get interesting.  What do you think?” She downed her glass of alcohol too. 

I grinned.  “I like where you’re going with this.”

So we let them drink.  Probably not the best idea, but hey.

Yuri’s phone began to ring, and she shot me an apologetic glance as she stood up.  I didn’t care to eavesdrop, so I just watched Kris and Joon$ drink their troubles away. 

“Hanbyul, I’m so sorry.  My older brother forgot his keys, and he’s locked out.  Will you be okay with these two?  Do you want me to stay?”

I smiled.  “No, I’m fine.  You should get home, though.”

“Thank you!  I owe you one.” She grinned.  Turning to Kris and Joon$, she said, “Bye guys.  Don’t drink too much.  Call a cab.”

By the way, everything was fun until they called it quits.  First, in an attempt to call a cab, Kris drunk dialed Pizza Hut and ordered about fifteen pizzas USING MY ADDRESS (which, in retrospect, was actually a good idea).  Second, some EDM started playing from some club across the street, which Joon$ and Kris both seemed to appreciate.  Third, when I tried calling a cab, they said that because we were calling at 2AM, it would take them about half an hour to get to us.  There was no way in hell that I was waiting with two drunk idiots for another half an hour, so I decided to use my last resort: Jongin.

<:>

“YES JONGIN THE ONLY MEAT RESTAURANT IN GANGNAM.”

“BUT NOONA IT’S LIKE TWO IN THE MORNING YOU CAN’T EXPECT ME TO JUST ROLL OUT OF BED AND—”

I took a deep breath in.  “I am with two drunk rich guys.  Please help me.”

“…Understood.”

<:>

Jongin pulled up in his cute little electric car and waved cheerily.  I stood, scowling, with Joonmoney curled up in a ball on my right, and Kris dancing like an idiot on my left.  Honestly, it’s hard to tell which drunk guy is more embarrassing, but I’m going to have to go with Kris, since, y’know, I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life with him.

“Your husband and your platonic acquaintance?”

“Jongin, how can you possibly be this annoying at this time of day?”

He chuckled.  “Just be thankful that I’m here, noona.”

“Right.”

So with a little squishing, Joonmoney was placed in the front, and Kris was in the back with me.

“Feel free to cuddle back there.”

“Shut up, Jongin.”

“Where to, noona?” he replied, ignoring my irritation.

“Well, Kris drunk dialed Pizza Hut, so we should be getting a whole bunch of pizzas at our house.  Let’s just bring them home.”

“HanbyulIloveyousomuch,” Kris muttered, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

“Huh?”

“YouresogreatIloveyou.”

I sighed.  “You’re drunk, Kris.”

He smiled and poked my cheek (on any other day, I would’ve been irritated, but I let it go).  “Yeeeeer soooooo puuretty.”

I didn’t respond.

“Hey noona,” Jongin said.  “Do you think that Kris is the type to spill all of his secrets when he gets drunk?”

I shrugged.  “Don’t mess with him, Jongin.”

“Hey Kris hyung?”

“Yeeees?”

“Have you ever had dirty thoughts about Hanbyul noona?”

Kris giggled like an idiot, and I tried not to slap Jongin.

“What are your thoughts on Kwon Yuri?”

His smile fell (and I’ll edit this next part, because no one wants to hear Kris stumble over his words anymore).  “We’re just friends.”

“What kinds of pizza did you order?”

“All kinds.”

Jongin pulled into the driveway then and did the heavy lifting of the drunk men.  I noticed the pizza guy waiting in our front yard and decided to pay for the fifteen boxes of pizza.  When I entered the living room, Jongin smiled.

“I put your husband on your bed.”

“Why.”

“So that you two can sleep together!”

“Thanks, Jongin.  I really appreciate the thought.  And Joonmoney?”

“Who?”

“Joonmyun?” I corrected myself.

“Oh, hyung is in my bed.”

“Why.”

Jongin grinned.  “I’m going to freak him out tomorrow.  It’ll be hilarious.”

“Wow.  Didn’t know you were like that.”

He winked.  “Good night.  See you tomorrow.”

“Good night.” Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on the kid.  He can be okay when he wants to be.  “And thanks for waking up at 2 in the morning to pick us up.”

“If you need any tips on how to seduce a drunk man, I’m willing to give you pointers.”

I take back anything and everything I’ve said.  “Dammit, Jongin.  Just go to bed already.”