Entry number: 04 

Envy. It's one of the seven deadly sins out there, right? It's one of those sins someone feels when they wan't something or wish for something that other people have. They wan't what they don't have. Well then, how does the phrase go? Father forgive me for I have sinned. I've had envy within me for as long as I could remember. 

I never envied people who had the latest gadgets growing up. No way. They were always birthday and Christmas presents given to me by dear father for forgiveness. Like that ever worked... No, I don't envy stupid things like that. I envy the more... let's call it deeper stuff. I've always envied people who have their mum's around. Always. Over the years I've envied people who have a good relationship with their dad's. Even Baekhyun who doesn't get to see his dad as much as I do with mine... maybe even less!

Then, and here's the thing I envy the most, there's the thing of me being labelled as the freak around the place. I can't speak to people and interact with them easily. I've never been the boy who was the most sociable out there. I was always the boy everyone avoided. Or maybe it was because I avoided them... Even the most shy or most unpopular guys in school have it better than me. They have more than one friend. They're the ones who can talk to people and just feel all jolly. I'm not that type of person. I've never been that type of person. I envy the boys in the school who are those people... 

~ 

"Is this all you envy?" the counsellor asked, making Sehun frown 
"Is this all?" he repeated and the counsellor nodded 
"You say you have always envied everyone because they have their mum's. Do you miss the love and affection your mum could have given you?" the counsellor asked and Sehun sat there in silence. 

He had never really thought of that before

He always just envied them because they had mums and obviously he didn't. He never really thought it was because he never had the motherly love they had. Sure his grandmother loved him. But was it the same as the love from a mum? 

"Sehun?" the counsellor asked 
"I've never really thought about it before" he finally replied and the counsellor nodded 
"Is that the possible reason you're so envious of people?" she asked 
"Except Baekhyun, we're both on the same boat" Sehun replied, thinking then that this was possibly the reason as to why the two of them were able to become such good friends. Even though they were polar opposites, they were similar at the same time. 

For a few seconds, Sehun and the counsellor just sat there in silence. Sehun still didn't understand why his dad thought these sessions were going to help him. He was still adamant that there was nothing wrong with him and that no counsellor was going to change his mind. Whilst he was sat there thinking to himself, the counsellor had began to re-read his journal once again, reading one of his earlier entires before she spoke up again. 

"This baby faced foreign guy you keep writting about in here. Have you tried speaking to him?" she asked 
"No way" Sehun replied quickly and the counsellor frowned 
"Why?" she asked and Sehun sighed 
"It's turned into such a long complicated story that I'm not even sure myself now" he replied.

"Then that gives you all the reason to go talk to him and make friends with him" the counsellor said but Sehun shook his head. She wouldn't understand.

"Look Sehun" the counsellor began, setting the journal onto her desk and sitting up 
"We both know you hate it here. You don't like me and I'm slowly becoming frustrated with you. You don't want help I get it but everyone else around us can see you need it. You want to get out of here I know that but if you want to leave you need to show people you're making progress" she finished and Sehun raised an eyebrow. 

"Well how do I make progress here then?" he asked 
"Talk to me! Let me see that you're alright, that there is nothing wrong with you as you claim. Let me help you" the counsellor exclaimed 
"But I don't need help" Sehun muttered 
"I know, but you and I both know that in order for people to realise this we need to start working together" the counsellor replied and Sehun thought about it for a moment before nodding. 

"What do I need to do then?" he asked. 

~

Waking up, Luhan frowned when he found his head on the table and his work around him. Had he seriously fallen asleep in the library? How long had he been in there for? 

Groaning, he tried to sit up straight to stretch himself but winced when he felt pain jolt up. Besides the sound of the librarian typing away at her computer, it was relatively silent in the place. Everybody else was probably out enjoying themselves whilst Luhan was stuck in there doing work for the project which had to be completed by next week. Didn't really help that he decided to fall asleep over a table and hurt his back in the process.

"Here" came a voice, startling Luhan as some painkillers and a drink appeared in front of him. Looking up, he saw Sehun sat across from him with the laptop out and models and completed work around him. Feeling the other persons gaze on him, Sehun looked up and the two sat there staring at each other before Sehun finally spoke up. 

"I figured that something was bound to be hurting because of the way you were sleeping. So I bought some painkillers for you just in case" he said 
"Th-thanks" Luhan replied and Sehun quickly nodded his head before going back to the work. Was he actually being nice to Luhan just then? 

Hello guys!! :D 

So this is going to carry on next chapter. I think the next few will be Hunhan chapters where we get to understand Sehun a bit more. Yes there was the rooftop chapter but there is something else that happened and then we have the Halloween party, Christmas, Baekyeol and drammaaaaa!!

Until then!!