Entry number: 01

You know what... this is completely stupid! Why am I even writting in this stupid freaking journal which I swear, most people will think is a diary and tease me because of it! Being told to write in here about my feelings... what feelings?!? Advice for anyone out there; don't go near the rooftop of your school and have some baby faced looking foreigner think you're about to jump of it. Like seriously! Then everyone thinks there's something wrong with you and you end up where I am today... 

~

Oh Sehun would tell people that he was fine. Perfectly fine thank you very much. He didn't need to go see a counsellor because he was found on top of the school roof. There was nothing wrong with him! 

However, other people would think differently. In fact, it seems to be the case that they know more about Sehun than he knows himself. It's that obvious. How so? Well let's take a look at the boys history shall we; 

Born to a mum who died when he was two years old and bought up by his grandmother whilst his pushy and strict father went of to work all the time. He would say it was because his job was demanding and required him to be there early in the morning until late at night. Sehun would think the opposite, he was pretty sure it was because he was a burden on his dad; that he reminded him too much of his mum, that he didn't have time for a child anway. This was the start of it all. 

At school, Sehun found it hard to make friends. Scratch that. He didn't really want any friends. What was the point in making friends with someone when you knew that eventually they were going to forget you or fall out with you and go to someone else? With that set in his mind, Sehun just never really bothered with interacting with the other kids. He was just fine with sitting with himself at lunch or sitting alone in lessons whilst others stared at him for just being plain weird. It wasn't until he was packed of to boarding school did one boy start talking to him; Byun Baekhyun. 

I would like to point out here that Byun Baekhyun is a pretty stubborn boy. When he sets his sights on something or he firmly believes in something, he will stick by it until he gets what he wants. And on the first day at school, he was determined to make Sehun his friend. He didn't like the fact that Sehun would sit by himself and have everyone stare at him... didn't he care? It came as a shock to most people and even Sehun himself when Baekhyun plonked himself in the seat across from his one lunchtime and shot him a smile. 

Everyday Baekhyun would sit there and speak to Sehun. Sehun never really spoke back, he only replied with shrugs of his shoulders or nod and shake his head. Baekhyun didn't really care, at least Sehun was communicating with him in some way. It carried on like this for two months; Baekhyun would find Sehun, sit down with him and speak to him. 

"Don't you ever get tired of speaking to me? It's not like I ever really speak back to you" Sehun finally piped up one day, coming as a shock to Baekhyun; Sehun finally spoke to him! And with that Baekhyun quickly gave his answer, hoping to keep the conversation going, Slowly, very slowly a friendship began to form between them and even though Sehun wouldn't like to admit it; he was glad to have a friend like Baekhyun. 

That seemed to be the only good thing of his life so far. Most days Sehun just didn't care. He didn't care about most of his lessons, he didn't care if he didn't get to sleep until four in the morning when he knew he had to be up at six, he didn't care if he ate anything for lunch or breakfast. He most certainly didn't care about the insults that people would throw at him in the hall. And this is what worried most people around him. How could Sehun go about like this everyday? There had to be something wrong with him or something that happened to him to make him feel like this. Even if Sehun refused to believe it himself; deep down, there was something wrong with him. 

~

And just because my dad forced me to the doctors where they found I had bags under my eyes, a few marks on my arm and that I'm slightly underweight for a boy of my age and height... he forces me to go see a bloody counsellor! A counsellor who gave me this stupid thing to write in it. She can speak to me all she wants and look through this to try and gain a better understanding of me but it won't work. 

People think that now I'm seeing a counsellor, there is something wrong with me. I can assure you there isn't. I'm perfectly fine and I  plan on keeping it that way!!

Hello!!

Welcome to I'm a nobody! 

So some of the chapters may be really tiny ones where it's just Sehun writting what he thinks so people can understand him a bit more. I have no idea how this will pan out so bare with me in the meantime. 

Until the next chapter!!