Taecyeon’s POV
It was fully morning when I finally reached Hanul and Jaebum’s house.

I was surprised at where they lived.

I wouldn’t have thought this little, antique, and dusty village was where they had come from if I didn’t see them there with my own two eyes.

But they were both there.

They were doing laundry with their hands, something almost unimaginable in Seoul, but they were having so much fun.

He sprayed her with water; she laughed, and threw suds back at him, hitting him in the face. I saw a bright smile, a real smile, spread across his face.

A smile that hasn’t been ever been seen in Seoul. 

Suddenly, Hanul stood up, the wash pan clattering.

Her smile gone, she was staring at me, wide-eyed.

“Hanul, what-?”

Jaebum also fell silent at the sight of me.

I must reek of Seoul.

Hiding that thought, I smiled back. 

“Is it okay if this homeless beggar stays here today?”, I asked, mimicking an old woman.

Hanul’s POV

Evening had fallen, and Jay had led Taecyeon to the guest room.

The two of them had been out all day.

Jay oppa entered my room, “Can you get Taec some blankets? Oh, and some kind of mattress? I can’t find them…”

I did as he asked.

I entered the guest room where Taecyeon was sleeping and threw down an electric blanket and a mat.

Taecyeon, who had already fallen asleep curled up against the wall, blearily looked up.

“Oho”, he said, in a sleepy voice, “an electric blanket! Look at the hospitality you are showing this beggar.”

In spite of myself, I smiled.  It was so like Taecyeon to remember he was acting like an old woman despite being awaken suddenly.

I started to unfold the blanket.

Taecyeon used his elbows to drag himself to me, until he was up in my face.

“Miss me?”, he asked, and made a puppy face.

I tried to stay stern and say, “As if”, but his wide eyes and innocent face broke through my defenses.

“Yes”, I admitted, looking away.

He closed his eyes and lowered his head back on the ground; he was smiling.  How adorable.

“Hanul, seeing as you’re still here, you’re not over Nickhun yet, are you?

I froze.

His words pricked at my heart… how true they were.

Taecyeon… how did he see through to my heart so easily?

How did he know that despite the warmth of being home, the love I received from my family, every day was a struggle, that there was a vicious fight raging inside of me? How did he know that I had picked flowers and picked the petals whispering, “Forget him, Forget him not, Forget him, Forget him not…”  over and over again…?

“Hanul, are you-?”

I looked up to see his concerned face. In his eyes, I could see a reflection of myself. My eyes were wide, and threatening to spill over with tears.

 “It’s okay, Hanul, if you’re still hurt. I can… understand…”, Taecyeon said, kindly, as always.

But now he was gazing at me intensely, unlike ever before.  

I wanted to hide from this piercing gaze,  this gaze that could see through every lie and wall I had built around myself.  As I looked down, I felt a tear race down my face.

He carefully and slowly lifted his hand to wipe my tears away.

I watched her, protectively, as a man watches a woman, as a tear fell from her eye and streaked down her face.

I raised my hand to wipe it off, but as I approached her, she jerked her head back.

I stayed there, my hand reached out towards her.

“Hanul, saranghae. I love you.”

She looked up suddenly, and tears fell from her eyes and dashed onto the floor.

Now she was staring at me, but I stared down, at her tears that had fallen onto the floor.

“ I know what you wanted from Nickhun, and…”, I said, hesitantly,

And then I confidently pushed on. I felt strength gather somewhere deep inside of me. This was my moment.

I looked up at her, “I want to be that man for you. I want to be there for you, and I want to take that spot. Can I… love you?”

She stared at me, her wide eyes glistening with tears.

The moment stretched on eternally, a lifetime.

It truly felt like I had spent a lifetime with her. I knew her like, no, better than, the back of my hand.

“Hanul… I love you”, I said.

Even I didn’t know how long I wanted to say that. But now that I’d finally said it, I wanted to say it again, and again, and again.

Hanul, I love you.

“Taecyeon oppa…”, I heard her say.

She took my hand…

“Taecyeon, you’re my knight in shining armor. You are. But you’re not my prince. Mianhe. I’m sorry.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper by the end of the sentence.

“Mianhe.”
So it wasn’t out of instinct that she shied away from my hand. No, she had made a calculated decision to reject me.
In other words, she didn’t want me.
The fact that she would reject me, I’d known all along, right?

Maybe so. But just because one knows what pain is, doesn’t make it any less painful when you fall again.

My heart crashed inside.

“Oppa, mianhe…”, she whispered again. Her hand stretched out to me.

I ignored it, and pulled her to me, hugging her tightly.

“It’s okay”, I said, “It’s okay, it’s fine.”
I wasn’t sure who I was saying this for, if it was for me, or for her.
I heard her start to cry.

I gently took her head between my hands so she couldn’t move. And I, very gently and very tenderly, kissed her on the top of her head. I kissed her right where I’d fallen in love with her. I kissed beautiful mind. Her precious thoughts. Her irreplaceable soul. Her gorgeous locks of hair.

And I told myself this all wasn’t for me.
And then, trying to hide my sadness, trying to be her knight in shining armor to the end, I smiled through the tears and said, “You’re my star no matter what.”   

I gently brushed the top of her head with my lips again, and then I left.
A single tear escaped my eye.
Then, it started building up, until I couldn’t see anything.

I stopped walking to brush away these tears.

When I did, and when I finally saw where I was, I had to smile.

I was in front of a small coffee shop, not unlike the one where I’d first felt some kind of feeling for her.

I remembered…

I stood there, remembering, as it started to rain.

Tears fell from the sky.

And I thought, at least there is one sky that knows how I feel….

(hanul= sky in korean)

a/n: ....... maybe i'll post again later.... this is too depressing a note to spend christmas eve on, huh? we'll see...