Hanul’s POV

I opened the door and went inside. I was startled by Nickhun, who was right beside the door. My heart jumped in response. And then I realized, too late, he had heard every word I had said to Taecyeon. His gaze captured mine, and he held me there with his eyes, unrelenting. I was a pigeon hypnotized by a snake. Only there was something tortured in the snake’s eyes. I could only imagine what my face looked like. We stood there for what seemed like an immeasurable amount of time.

Then, he slowly took out a phone, Jaebum’s phone. His gaze never leaving mine, he flicked it on, and held it up to my face. It showed a text message. About me. From…

My knees almost gave out.

Nickhun kept looking at me.

“What is this?”, he asked softly, as if barely concerned. My mind went blank. How could I explain this? After what he had just heard me say to Taecyeon?

 “Tell me.”, he said, still controlled.

I couldn’t find my voice. Speak, idiot, speak. My mind screamed at me.  Tell Nickhun the truth! Tell him how you still love him! Tell him how you couldn’t be with James because you couldn’t stop thinking of him! SPEAK!

“It’s nothing for you to know.”, I said.

What? What!? Why the did you say that to him?! Idiot!

 “I have to know.”, he answered and his eyebrows furrowed.  Even now, he making my heart thump.

“It has nothing to do with you.”, I repeated, emotionlessly. It seemed to be that my vocabulary vonsisted of only those words.   

“Tell me”, he coaxed. I shook my head.

“Why not?”, he said, and I could see him starting to fall apart.

Suddenly, he slammed his hands against the wall, trapping me against the wall, blocking me in his arms.

“I have everything to do with you”, he reminded me, starting at me intensely with smoldering eyes,  “Or have you forgotten?”
As if I could forget. My heart started to pound like crazy. My emotions and reactions were  a flurry of disorder. I wanted to cry. I hesitantly looked up from his chest, and saw  a raging fire of fury in his amazing brown eyes. I could see everything I ever wanted in those eyes, and beyond them, I saw his feelings for me, shining brightly in his eyes.

I couldn’t stand it. I had done nothing to deserve either this joy or this blame. I pushed his arms away from me and turned to leave. My heart was pulsing, stretching at the seams, and in danger of bursting from fear. I would move out tonight. I had to. My hand gripped the door knob.
“Why did you leave?”, his voice was quiet and exhausted. “ I still don’t understand. When they announced your debut in front of all those interviewers, you didn’t show up on stage. And then there was that day… you stood me up. It was supposed to be the day that I announced my engagement to you in front of all of Korea.  We were going to get married. Yes, we were young, but I was so happy to have you. And then… you left. Why did you leave?”

I was frozen. Everything felt ice-cold, my heart seemed to burn me inside with its incredible coldness. I felt the freezing chill permeate throughout my body, and coat the insides of my mind. For one moment, I saw us as the perfect couple we had imagined ourselves to be. As a normal happy couple. And then I remembered, we weren’t normal. The worst kind of smile, the ironic, sarcastic, about-to-cry smile made its way to my face.

“Tell me about your career, Nickhun”, I said with my back to him, “Are you happy being a Korean idol?” 

There was no response.

I turned around; he was starting at me intensively with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Don’t go to tommorow’s show. Don’t show up.”, I continued. I was talking about “Let’s Get Married”.

Nickhun replied slowly, “I can’t do that.”

And the ice that had carefully built inside of me shattered. I felt raw, exposed. I had forgotten why it was ridiculous to hope. I replied, “Then good luck with your show and don’t concern yourself with me.” I wrenched open the door and left, shutting it behind me.

I walked outside and felt the tears escape from my eyes. I looked up to the sky, trying desperately to blink away my tears. Nickhun…
A few seconds later, I was sobbing uncontrollably. The tears fell like raindrops in a rainstorm. I couldn’t breathe. I had to crouch down and I squeezed my face between my hands, trying to hold myself together. I couldn’t do it.

Taecyeon’s POV
I had just met up with Wooyoung at the local dance studio and we had just arrived home. I was about to open the door when I heard Nickhun talking inside. Wooyoung and I looked at each other and crouched next to the door. And then I heard… I heard everything. Everything.

Nickhun and Hanul had been engaged and Hanul had been about to debut and she had suddenly left for America, leaving everything behind. Leaving Nickhun behind, with no expectations and yet all the expectations in the world.

Wooyoung looked intensely troubled, but not surprised. And I realized he had known, all along, that was why he and Nickhun had reacted so badly to the visit from the SM President. Wow, that President must really have it out for Hanul…

Wooyoung pulled me around the side of the house and said, “Taecyeon-”

“I’ll check on Nickhun, you check on Hanul.”, I cut him off.
Wooyoung looked at me for a moment, studying me, and then nodded and left.

He trusted me because he knew that, as betrayed and surprised as I felt, Nickhun and Hanul were the ones suffering the most. And 2pm was, after all, the only family Nickhun and Hanul had right now.

 I quietly entered through the back door and walked down the hallway to the living room.

I watched Nickhun lean his hands against the wall, taking deep breaths, trying to steady himself. Then, I saw his head crouch over. His shoulders started to shiver until his whole body was trembling like mad. A desperate sob escaped him. He turned over and leaned his back against the wall, tears starting to slip down his face. He entire body was quivering with the effort to hold himself together. But his legs gave out, and he slipped down the wall. His hands grappled at the wall, trying to pull himself up. But he fell against the wall, the deepest grief penetrating his heart. The tears that had for so long stayed inside his heart now streamed freely down his face. He leaned his head back and was shaking all over.

Nickhun… was crying.

Hanul’s POV

I felt someone shove me against their chest warmly. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders comfortably. Holding me together.

I tried to wipe my tears and look at who it was. My eyes met the concerned and sad gaze of Wooyoung.

“Oppa”, I blubbered, trying to acknowledge his prescene. I was about to tell him that I was fine by myself until I realized that I shouldn’t have talked. I broke down again, harder. He leaned me against his chest and held me there, shielding me. He my hair, rubbed my back, calming me down.

“Sorry, sorry”, I said, rambling, not sure who I was apologizing to or what for.

“It’s okay”, he said quietly. He sighed deeply. “It’s okay if you’re sorry, and it’s also okay if you say you’re not sorry.”

I took a stuttering deep breath and pulled away. I tried to smile through my tears. Wooyoung smiled back, but it was a sorrowful smile, a response to my effort of smiling more than my actual smile. He brushed my tears away as best he could with his fingers, and then he said, “Let’s go. Let’s get out of here.” I watched him, afraid to talk. He stood up, pulled me to my feet and carried me princess-style out to his car.  

Taecyeon’s POV

I walked into the room and Nickhun immediately tucked his head between his knees. I hesitated and then slowly sat down and placed a hand on his shoulder. He shook it off.

I bit my lip. Extremely slowly, I moved my hand to his head. There was no response. I slowly began to ruffle his hair. I could hear him softly crying. I sighed. Nickhun was hurting. Hyung was hurting.. Hyung, I’ve never seen you in so much pain, I thought to myself. I gently draped my arm around his shoulders. Hyung, don’t cry.