February 2011 – 7 months pregnant

Kyungsoo's favourite time of the year is coming and that meant that his son is going to be born in two months. The temperature of the surroundings is not as cold as it was two months ago and he was grateful for that because Jongin never allowed Kyungsoo to leave their apartment when it is very cold. Sehun have been moving in his stomach a lot lately. Yes, both Jongin and Kyungsoo have agreed on naming their unborn son, Sehun. Sehun means serving the World meritoriously. To put it into simpler words, it meant that both of them wants their son to be of a good help to the society.

Kyungsoo is pacing back and forth in their apartment as he waited for the arrival of his spouse. Recently, Sehun have been craving for fried chicken. Kyungsoo would always chuckle at the thought that Sehun is exactly like his father. “Let's wait a little while longer, okay Sehunnie? Appa will be home with our fried chicken,” Kyungsoo said as he patted his stomach, earning him a kick from the baby.

Kyungsoo spent his next half an hour talking to Sehun but he was interrupted when the phone rang. “Oh look Sehunnie! Its appa calling,” Kyungsoo said to his bump as he picked up the call.

“Jonginnie! Where are you? Me and Sehunnie are hungry!” Kyungsoo whined over the phone.

“Hi. I am sorry but are you Mr Kim Kyungsoo?” The officer asked over the line.

“Who are you?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Sir. I need you to be calm but I need you to come down to the hospital because your husband met with an accident,” The officer explained.

-

This is the first time in Kyungsoo's life that he felt so vulnerable. He never felt this way before. Kyungsoo felt that his whole World is crumbling to pieces with just one blow. Kyungsoo was sitting outside the emergency room with Joonmyeon, Kris and both his and Jongin's parents. Kyungsoo was clinging on to Joonmyeon mumbling incoherent words. Kyungsoo have been praying so hard that Jongin won't leave him and Sehun. He was saying out all the promises that Jongin said to him when he proposed, when they tied the knot, when they found out that Kyungsoo is pregnant and also when they found out that they are expecting a baby boy.

After an hour or so, the door to the emergency room opened and the doctor walked towards the family that was sitting there,”Can I know who is his spouse?” The doctor asked.

Joonmyeon stood up on Kyungsoo's behalf,”I'm sorry but he doesn't have much time,” the doctor said.

“Kyungsoo, come on. Jongin wants to see you,” Joonmyeon persuaded the younger as he tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Kyungsoo got up and rushed to the emergency room. When he opened the door, there it was. Jongin was laying on the bed; almost lifeless. Tears began pooling Kyungsoo's eyes as he walked towards his husband. Jongin who realised Kyungsoo's presence, turned to the older and gave him a weak smile.

“Jo-Jongin,” Kyungsoo stuttered as he grasp Jongin's hands.

“Soo. How are you? The chicken that you and Sehun wants is in the back of my car,” Jongin said in between breaths.

“Not the chicken Jongin! Its you! Think about pulling through this,” Kyungsoo said as he placed Jongin's wounded hand over his bump,”Think of Sehun. He needs you,” Kyungsoo finished.

“I don't think I can make it, Soo. You know that I love you and our Sehun right?” Jongin said as he rubbed Kyungsoo's belly slowly, feeling the baby kicking against his palm.

“No. You're not going to die, Jongin! You promised, didn't you? You promised that you want to spend your forever with me right? You promised that we would have as many kids as we want. You promised that you will teach Sehun how to walk, teach Sehun to say appa, watch him go into Elementary school and watch him during his Graduation, right?” Kyungsoo said as tears rolled down his cheeks. Kyungsoo knew that no matter what he says, he's going to lose Jongin forever.

“I'm sorry baby. Can you call Joonmyeon hyung in for me?” Jongin asked.

Joonmyeon went in to the room. Kyungsoo was left outside the room to beg the heavens not to take his husband away. Kyungsoo didn't know what he is going to do if Jongin wasn't there for him. Joonmyeon got out of the room and brought Kyungsoo back in once again but this time, Jongin looked more lifeless than the first time he entered.

“Kyungsoo, I will always love you. Now and forever. And I will always love Sehun too,” Jongin said before he took his last breath.

“Jongin! No! You promised! Come on, Jongin! We promised forever, didn't we. You promised me! Sehun is not born yet! He wants to see his appa. Jongin! Please! Don't do this to me,” Kyungsoo wailed as he held on to the sheets.

Joonmyeon and the nurses had to pull Kyungsoo out of the room. Kyungsoo clung onto Joonmyeon's shirt as he sobbed into it.

“Hyung, Sehun is going to be born without a father. Hyung, I promised myself that I won't love anyone other than Jongin,” Kyungsoo said softly before he drifted off to sleep due to exhaustion.

-

April 2011 – 9 months pregnant.

Kyungsoo's due date is coming in two weeks. Since Jongin's death, Kyungsoo have been spending his Fridays at Jongin's grave. That was the first time Kyungsoo welcomed Spring with tears in his eyes. He visited Jongin's grave a week before his due telling the other how much he missed him and how Sehun's development were. Sehun was growing well. Sehun would be especially active whenever Kyungsoo went to visit Jongin.

Both Joonmyeon and Kris moved in with Kyungsoo after Jongin's death because the latter begged them to. The duo also started a cafe. At the corner of the cafe, there was a corner dedicated to remember the man who meant the World to Kyungsoo. The idea of opening up the cafe was Jongin's dream and both Joonmyeon and Kris are just helping him fulfill them.

-

Giving birth to their first born never felt this difficult to Kyungsoo. He knew that giving birth is difficult but its even more difficult when he thought about how his son will grow up without a father. There were times during the labour Kyungsoo ever thought about giving up but the thoughts of Sehun is his only memory of Jongin, Kyungsoo carried on. It took him more than 2 hours to push Sehun out but once the cries of his son was heard, Kyungsoo knew that this must be his love for Jongin. The nurses washed up Sehun and took his measurements. When they were done, they handed Sehun to Kyungsoo.

“Kim Sehun,” Kyungsoo cooed as the baby opened his eyes and looked at his mother,”I knew you would have your father's eyes when you smile but you have my skin, honey. Appa won't be here to watch you grow but he will be in heaven watching us both. When you're older, let's visit appa's grave together neh?” Kyungsoo said as he kissed Sehun's chubby cheeks.

Kim Sehun, April 12, 2011

A/N: if you guys ever thought of reading this while listening to Miracles in December, i advise you not to because you'll be crying so much. hope you guys like it. xoxo. :')