Jongin sits on his bed in silence. He's run out of tears, now he's just a blank slate.

His hand is throbbing but he's already had painkillers today, there's nothing he can do to stop it. He doesn't even want to look at it.

The wolf left scars all the way up his arm and past is elbow, reaching close to his shoulder, but that's not even the worst part. His hand is a mangled mess, now that the bandage has come off. They did everything they could but you can't stitch fingers back on. It doesn't work that way. He only has three fingers in total now, if you count his thumb. And all of them have furious red scars on them.

And he hasn't seen Kyungsoo in two weeks. He hadn’t realised how much time they were spending together until he wasn’t there anymore, and he was left by himself.

He was released from the hospital after six days. Sehun had visited him a few times, looking shaken and worried, and tired. He was glad to see him, really he was, but Sehun isn't Kyungsoo. He can’t kiss him, and hold him and make everything feel like nothing. Only Kyungsoo can do that for him.

He hasn't been to school since before he was admitted. He misses Kyungsoo so much. And Sehun, and Kevin, and everyone. He doesn't eat a lot anymore, barely touching the food his mum leaves on his desk.

He doesn't sleep all that much either, the nightmares are too vivid. Too clear, he can remember every sound, smell sight from that moment, and every sensation. He's had too much time to think it over.

He's sure, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he's getting skinnier, but he doesn't care enough. His mum hasn't yet stopped trying to talk to him, but he's sure she will soon. Talking to a brick wall would be just as helpful for her. She'd get about the same level of response.

He doesn't do much.

His mum knocks on the door, and doesn't wait for him to answer before coming in and sitting on his bed. He ignores her,

“Jongin, I know it hurts,” no you don't, “but it'll pass, I promise” how can you promise something like that? Maybe he doesn't want it to pass. Forgetting Kyungsoo is unfathomable. He doesn't move, or acknowledge her in anyway.

“Jongin, he was bad for you,” Jongin flicks his head to her, eyes flashing angrily,

“No. He was the only thing for me. Leave me alone,” he hisses, he doesn't really hate her; he resents her decision. And he doesn't want her to be anywhere near him right now. He wants Kyungsoo, but he won't come. Not now that he's been turned away three times. He tried to come back at the hospital to see him, but his mum had been there, and had sworn at him, and threatened him.

And then there was the brief spark of life when he'd come to his house, but his mum had blocked him at the door, literally holding Jongin back.

“Do you remember when your dad left us?” he doesn't respond, “no I didn't think so. Well I was distraught -”

“Don't care,” Jongin cuts her off. He's been told this story before.

“I just don't want you getting hurt again,” she says, uncertain and again on the verge of tears. She's been crying a lot lately, and he knows it's because of him, of his hand.

“You are hurting me, right now,” he says, satisfied that his voice is steady and serious. She flinches, but nods and leaves.

“I called the school to ask for your school work so you can catch up.” she says emotionlessly just before she closes the door on him, a little too forcefully to suggest she's unaffected by Jongin's harsh but true words.

Jongin doesn't feel happy that she's gone, like he thought he would. But he doesn't feel sad or guilty either. He needs to get out, but the doors are locked and he has no hope of climbing out of the window with his loathsome hand. He hates it so much.

And his mum has confiscated his phone as well, for fear he'll contact Kyungsoo. Why does she insist on keeping him away from the one thing that he's sure will make him better? Kyungsoo isn't insane. In the same way Jongin won't listen to her when she tells him it will pass, she won't listen when he tries to tell her that Kyungsoo was telling the truth.

He recounted the tale twice while he was still in hospital and she still thinks he's lying to cover up the 'fact' that he was doing drugs or something else shady.

But who the hell would say that? Tell a lie as outlandish as that and expect it to be believed? There is no evidence to suggest that they were doing anything shady, why can't she just believe him? Maybe he just needs to prove it to her somehow. Somehow.

How is he meant to prove this without Kyungsoo here? He feels more dry tears sneaking up on him, and his throat burns with the effort of holding it back. He looks at the digital clock on his desk, red numbers glowing eerily in the darkness of his room. It takes a long time for the numbers displayed to actually mean anything to him. It’s nearly midnight. He doesn't care.

He feels himself going into a sort of vegetative state of not sleeping but not conscious of anything going on around him. He doesn't know how long he's like this, and it's on and off. He's brought back to life by an insistent and annoying tapping noise. Assuming it's his mum back again, despite the fact that it must be the early hours of the morning by now, he ignores it. Why doesn't she just come in, if she has something to say?

Maybe she wants him to go to sleep. He's not going to go to sleep just because she tells him to, so he doesn't know why she bothers. It was the same before he got his arm destroyed, too.

He hopes that by waiting she will go away, but she doesn't,

“Go away,” he says, clearly so that she can hear him through the door.

“Jongin?” he's awake in less than an instant. It can't be him. He can't be here, can he?

“Kyungsoo?” he croaks. If it's him, he'll be able to hear him.

“Jongin? Jongin, open the window!” he begs. Jongin gets up slowly, his legs sore from being locked in one position for who knows how many hours, and pulls back he curtain to find Kyungsoo balancing precariously on the small bit of decorative ledge that runs around the house.

Jongin hurries to unlock the latch one handed and push the pane upwards so Kyungsoo can squirm in. The moment his feet hit the floor, he throws his arms around Jongin, and they're both crying, sobbing unrestrainedly. Jongin is trying to tell him how much he missed him, and how lonely he's been without him. How just seeing his face makes him feel about a hundred times better, despite his hand.

At some point Jongin collapses on Kyungsoo, and he has to hold him up and carry him over the bed where Kyungsoo pulls him so that he's on his back, between his legs with his head on his stomach. Kyungsoo drags his fingers soothingly through his hair, singing softly, as the tears slowly recede.

Jongin rolls over, suddenly embarrassed that Kyungsoo always sees him at his worst state. He hides his hand, irrationally ashamed of it.

“Jongin? Where are you-? Come back, please,” he reaches out, and Jongin moves back into his embrace, because he can't stay away, but at the same time trying to subtly conceal his deformation.

Unfortunately Kyungsoo notices and sighs, pained.

“Let me see,” he says with an authoritative tone, but when Jongin shakes his head, scared and fragile after everything that's happened he says it again, more gently this time. Still, he's reluctant to let Kyungsoo inspect the damage. If he's repulsed by his own hand, surely Kyungsoo will be too.

-

so tiired and i have a match tmrw im gonna play so badly -_-

yay kaisoo are sorta back together again....comment lemme know what u guys think? please? aahh ZZzzz