Chinese New Year. Perhaps this was the first time I was having mixed feelings about this holiday. Normally, I would be excited to be celebrating with my family and to be receiving new year’s money in red envelopes, but this year it was different. Normally, I would just be calling my distant relatives to wish them a happy new year, but this year I was to travel to Fuzhou to celebrate with them. This new year redefined homesick for me. I guess I just never appreciated my family enough. When I called them earlier today, I unknowingly choked on my words and hung up abruptly to keep from embarrassing myself and to prevent my parents from worrying about me. I hadn’t even truly realized how much I missed them this entire year abroad until now.

But what was important at the moment was finally getting reunited with my family, especially my aunt. This was to be my first time visiting after twelve years, and I was ambivalent about it. I honestly didn’t know how I was to react to the absence of my grandma, but I was confident that the reunion aspect with everyone else could make that bearable.

Today was New Year’s Eve, so both Kris and I went back to our own hometowns to eat reunion dinner and celebrate the holiday with our families. Thus, he set out for Guangzhou while I left for Fuzhou.

“Ready?” he asked from the door. We both were going to take a cab to the train station together.

“Yeah,” I smiled back tiredly. We walked to the street with our hands intertwined and boarded a cab. Merely ten minutes later we were at the station.

“Happy new year, and good luck with everything,” he said, obviously knowledgeable of all my ambivalence and apprehensions. “Call me whenever,” he added with a smirk.

“Cheeky,” I commented with a giggle. “But I will,” I winked at him. But in a matter of seconds, the moment he pulled me into his warm embrace, seriousness replaced every ounce of joke and laughter as I lost all resolve within his warmth. “Thanks, Kris.”

“I love you,” he whispered and placed his lips against the crown of my head.

“I love you, too,” I replied as we pulled apart. I placed a chaste kiss on his right cheek before I boarded the train before him. I knew, that whatever happens, he’ll be there for me again, as always.

I guess the dinner wasn’t half as solemn as I expected. There were definitely much more warm laughter and compliments of maturing than sad comments about the past. Of course, a few tears were shed her