a rush of nostalgia

Jade looked out the window and took a sip of her hot chocolate. She watched as small little snowflakes slowly flow down from the grey sky onto the cold cement sidewalk. It was the middle of December and she was sitting in a small cafe hanging there for the day. Jade turned her head back to the table and sighed.

"He left for America already."

Those words repeated in her head endlessly. She felt a rush of nostalgia hit her. She didn't know what love was then. She was cold and selfish not caring about it. There was one certain person who made it clear for her to understand.

"Kim Himchan..." his name mumbled out of . She stared at her cup as the scenes invaded her head again.

"What's this?" she looked at the box and letter in Himchan's hand.

"It's for you," he smiled and let out a small laugh. Jade looked at it and slowly took it from his hand.

"Uh, thanks again?" she awkwardly smiled back and turned to leave. She entered her dorm and closed the door. Jade walked into her room and threw the letter away in her trash can which was already full of his past unopened letters. The little present box was placed at the corner of her room with his others presents.

"I really need to get rid of these," she thought and turned to leave.

Another sigh came out from as she leaned back on the chair. Jade took another sip of her hot chocolate and stared back out the window. She felt bad, well worst than that. She did love him, at least that's what her heart thinks now. Jade stood up and paid for her drink before leaving the cafe. She pulled her scarf closer to and started her walk around town. Jade let out a small cough after breathing in the cold winter air.

"It's just a slight cough," she told him.

"It could get worse if you don't eat medicine," Himchan opened a bottle of cough medicine and placed it on the palm of his hands. He grabbed a water bottle nearby and handed it towards Jade. She took the medicine from him and ate it.

"I'll go make some porridge," Himchan stood up and left her room.

Jade stopped at the corner of the sidewalk waiting for the cars to go by. She didn't know why back then she had treated him so cold. He had done so much for her. He took care of her when she was sick. He made sure to be by her side until she was better. But she assured him everything was ok and pushed him away every time.

"I was stupid...so stupid..." she mumbled and watched as the people crossed the street. She stepped down from the curb and continued her walked to the other side of the street. She didn't want to believe it at first. But every time he smiles at her, every laugh he lets out melts her heart. She had loved him. His pictures were in her phone and she would beg every day that he had changed his mind and return back.

"I didn't know how crazy i was..." she let out a small laugh and headed on the path towards her dorm. After passing by a couple of buildings, she made it to her dorm. Jade pulled out her keys and opened the door. She entered and closed it behind her. She didn't bother turning on the lights and walked into her room. Jade placed her bag down on her bed and sat down in her chair. Her phone still held tightly in her hand.

"Just one more call wouldn't hurt..." she said and unlocked her phone. She went through her contacts list and spotted his name. She pressed it and placed her phone near her ear. It rang for a long time and then the voicemail message was on.

"The person you are calling at the moment is currently busy, please leave a voice message after the beep."

Jade sigh and the beep started.

"Himchan...," tears started filling up in her eyes. She didn't know why she was crying. "I-i'm sorry. I'm sorry for not appreciating your kindness, your love and your heart. I was cold. I was selfish. I only cared about myself. I was stupid. I pushed you away because it was a habit. Do you know how precious you are to me now? Yes...i love you and i want you back. If you hear this, please stop ignoring my calls and come back."

She hung up her phone and cried burying herself in her arms.

"I miss you Kim Himchan..."