Chapter 3

Confession

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Alright, I have a confession to make. I like Khun. I knew Khun since piano classes. And we were so close and every meeting was magic to me. Every little gestures he makes. Every small drawings he gave me. Every winks. Every accidental touch. Khun is everything to me. Khun is beautiful. Khun is kind. Khun is...

 

'Getting married.' Mum said. Wait a minute. Wha~ what?

 

Alright, I'm going to need more than a life time to get that in my brains. Khun smiled looking down at the fact. A smile froze on my face. 'Married? That's great…' My tone dragged without a soul. 'With who?' I stuttered and munch on my rice, so that I'll feel numb.

 

'With who is not the question…when it is' Mum corrected me. 'Nevermind, I'll answer that. You know, Victoria..Your classmate?' Khun said.

 

'How dare she..! I told you to grab him while you had the chance, now look what happened?! Your so-called bestfriend got him! Aish~ I just want to smack her face to the concrete ground, for crying out loud. Tck!' Hae slightly bursted my ear drums on the phone. '…And the fact that she knew you liked Khun… .' She bit her lip.

 

'Hae, this is not something I had in mind when I called you.' I sulked, laying on my stomach, on th bed. All of a sudden, this bed didn't feel comfortable anymore. 'I'm sorry, I was so angry! Just imagine to be in your place… this foreigners.' Hae muttered.

 

'Since they are no other reason to stay here…I should head back to Seoul tomorrow.' I said to Hae on the phone. 'What about the wedding? Your mum?' Hae asked. 'We'll make up something… Emergency surgery... Friend's birthday…I don't care, I just have to get out of here and not watch the wedding.'

 

Twice my door was knocked. 'Who is it?' I yelled. 'Its me.' 'Hey, Hae. I got to go, OK? I'll call you tomorrow! Bye. Muah, muah.' I said and hung up. 'Come in.' I said, fixing my hair. I am not prepared for this. What do I say? What do I do?

 

'You OK?' He said, and sat next to me. No, you idiot.

 

I doubled our distance. '..Yeah, I'm good.' I said, nodding like an idiot. He notices the huge gap.

 

'Is this about the wedding?' I cleared my throat. 'It was so sudden for you, was it? I understand that. What do you think?' He asked. 'Why you ask? I mean, its your wedding, regardless what other people say, you'll go on with it..And you'll do what's best for you. And I can't make that decision for you. Because I'm not you.' I shrugged my shoulders.

 

'I should go on with it? But why do I have this feeling that…' he paused. '…You're not that esctatic about the whole marriage thing.' He said. A smile froze on me. 'What~~ No~…Tck~please." I denied. I'm running out of expressions, he has to go because tears are pooling in my eyes. He'd better leave before it falls.

 

"You know , its getting really late. And your future wife wouldn’t like it if you’re in a girls room at a time like this..' I hung on the doorside waiting for him to leave.

 

He reluctantly stood up from the bed, and sighed. "I'd really hope you'd be there. You know sometimes, I think I'd suffer without you." He shook his head. "But nah..."

 

"I'd die." He continued. "You'll be there in the wedding, right? I need my muse while I'm there." He smiled. And when he was about to leave, he paused at me. 'I guess getting married just freaks me out… sorry.' He said and left.

 

That is it, I'm leaving the night, without telling my mum or Khun. I'm going to Jeju-do for a year and a half. No one would know. I need an escape. A new place. Meet people I've never met. Be new. Be a brand new, less sulky, less sorry, me.