‘Omma!!’

That voice makes you awake from your daydream. You looked at him and smiled. He is Kim Jaechan, your one and only son. He was your son with Kim Himchan. And now, he is already six years old which means, it’s already been six years since Himchan gone.

*SIX YEARS AGO*

You woke up from your sleep earlier today because today was Himchan’s birthday. You decided to make a special breakfast for him. You went to the kitchen and started to cook. After you done with the cooking, you went to the bathroom first and take your bath. After you already get ready of yourself, you went to Himchan’s room to wake him up. You opened the door and walked into the room. But, Himchan wasn’t there. Only Changjo was sleeping on the bed. You wondered where he was. Maybe he was at the bathroom? You decided to just wait for him at the kitchen. You were preparing as much as you could so that today will be a great day for Himchan.

Half an hour later, Changjo came out from the room and saw all the food at the kitchen. He want to eat it but you didn’t let him to eat it because the food were made special for Himchan. You asked Changjo about Himchan.

YOU   : Oppa, where’s Himchan-oppa? He’s not wake up yet?

CJ        : I don’t know. He wasn’t there when I woke up just now.

YOU   : Mwo? Where did he go? I better try to call him now.

You took your phone and dialled Himchan’s number. He didn’t answered your call. You tried to call him again but still, he didn’t answered your call. You then decided to leave a voice message to him.

“Himchan-oppa.. Where are you right now? I’m waiting for you. Call me back when you hear this message. Love you.”

You keep on waited and waited but Himchan still hasn’t calling for you. You felt a little bit worried about it. Then your phone rang and you received a message.

“ _____-ah. I’m so sorry but I have to go. I’m sorry. I love you. And will always love you. Nothing can ever change that. – Himchan- “

You cried. What does he mean with this message? Was he trying to pull a prank to me now? You then told Changjo about it and Changjo was surprised when he read the message. He then quickly went to the room and he noticed that all Himchan’s things were not there. Himchan already left!

You tried to call Himchan again and again but he turned off his phone. You were disappointed and you didn’t understand why he done this to you. As far as you remember, both of you didn’t even have a fight or anything. You guys were in a good condition and you wondered why did he do this to you? You can’t accept the fact that he was leaving you.

A few days later, you received a call from hospital. They told you the result of your medical check-ups. The nurse then congratulate you because you will be a mom a few months more. This is because you’re pregnant now and it’s been about one month. You were shocked with that news! You never thought that you will pregnant at this young age. And the worst thing was Himchan was not there with you. He already leave you alone here. You then thought that maybe Himchan already knew about your pregnancy and he didn’t want to be responsible and that’s why he left you. You knew it! All guys are the same! After they get what they want, they just leave you alone and let you suffer all by yourself. You thought Himchan was different but he just the same! You hate him right now! Hate him so much! You regret that you once loved him. You really regret about it!

You talked about your pregnancy with your parents and Changjo. Changjo can accept it but your parents were really pissed off. They asked you to abort the baby because they were ashamed with your behaviour. But, you insist to give birth to the baby. They then asked you to just do what you want and they don’t care about you anymore. You cried and cried so bad. Luckily, Changjo was there to comfort you.

CJ  : ____-ah.. Stop crying okay? Don’t worry. Omma and appa just can’t accept the fact that you’re pregnant yet. Just give them some times and they will accept it later on. Be strong okay? I’m always there for you. No matter what, you still my one and only sister.

Changjo then hugged you tightly. You hugged him too and you cried in his hug. ~

- EIGHT MONTHS LATER -

You already gave birth to a son. He was in a healthy condition. He looks really cute and his face is really similar to Himchan. You can’t help it but crying each time you see your own son because he really reminds you of Himchan. And you really hate it when you were thinking of Himchan. You really hate Himchan!

One day, you received a phone call from an unknown number. You wondered who it is and answered the call.

YOU  : Yeoboseyo?

UC     : Yeoboseyo? Is this ____-ssi?

YOU  : Yes, this is me. Why? And who are you?

UC     : Can we meet right now? I’ll wait for you at the café. We need to talk. I’ll text you the address after this.

The unknown caller then disconnected the call. After that, you received the text message about the café address just now. You didn’t know either you should go and see her or not because you don’t know who was calling for you just now. But, she sounds like she had an important thing that she need to tell you. Finally, you made up your mind and went to see her.

Half an hour later, you arrived at the café. You tried to look for that person but you didn’t know how she look like. Suddenly, you saw a woman was waving her hand to you and you then walked towards her. You greeted her nicely.

YOU  : Annyeonghaseyo~ *bows*  _____ imnida. Are you the one that called me just now?

HC’s M : Annyeonghaseyo~ Nae. I’m the one that called you just now. Please. Take your seat.

YOU : Nae. Kamsahamida. So, what is it that we need to talk about? But, before that, may I know who you are and how did you know me?

HC’s M : Actually, we need to talk about Himchan. I’m his mother.

YOU : Himchan? I’m sorry but I don’t want to hear anything about him more. I’m sorry if I’m being rude to you but I think I should go now. *walk away*

HC’s M : He’s dead. Few months ago.

You were shocked! Did she just said that Himchan was already dead? You can’t believe it. What was actually happening to Himchan?

HC’s M : I knew everything, dear. Himchan told me everything about you. I knew you were mad at him but there’s a reason of why did he do all this towards you. He was dying. And he didn’t want you to see that weak side of him. He didn’t want you to be sad because of him. He really loves you, dear. Here. Take this. *give you a book and a voice recorder* He left this for you. I guess I should go now. Take care of yourself. And I’m sorry.

The woman then walked away and left you alone. Tears started to roll down your cheeks. You can’t believe of what you heard just now. No. There’s no way that Himchan already died. Maybe she was just pulling a prank for me. Yes. This is just a prank. You whispered at yourself as you tried to comfort yourself.

You quickly make your way home and went into the room. Then, you tried to open the book and you realised that it was Himchan’s handwriting. Tears started to roll down your cheeks again. You read it one by one. It made you cried so bad. You now realised the reason why he left you alone that day.

‘ I have to leave you, ____-ah. I’m dying. I was diagnosed with a cancer. I don’t want you to see that weak side of me. I really have to go now. I’m so sorry that I can’t tell you about this. I’m really sorry. Forgive me.’

‘ I left you. When you were anticipating to celebrate my birthday, I woke up very early and packed up all my things. I made up my mind and decided to go and see my parents and spend all my time with them before I go. I’m sorry for leaving you just like that. I want you to know that I will always love you.’

‘ I’m here, at the hospital.Spending my last time here and being treated although I knew I will not be able to cure. I’m gonna die sooner or later. ___-ah.. I just don’t get it. Why must all this things happened to me? What wrongs that I’ve done? I don’t get it. This is so unfair. I wish I still can spend my time with you right now. I miss you, babe.’

‘____-ah.. How are you? I’m not fine. It’s hurt like hell here. I should just die now. This pain was too hard for me to handle.’

After reading a few pages of the book, you can’t hold your tears. You can felt that Himchan was really suffering. And he suffered more than you. You felt very guilty right now because you were hating him without even knowing the truth. The truth that he was in a big pain.

You then tried to play the voice recorder. And then, you heard Himchan’s voice. The voice that you were longing for!

‘ ____-ah.. Today is the day. I’m gonna have a surgery after this. I don’t know what will happened after this but I’ll try my best to survive. I promise. I’ll come and see you later on. I believe that I will survive after this surgery. Wait for me okay? I heard about it. You were pregnant right? I’m so happy when I heard about it. It’s our children right? I wonder if the baby is a girl or a boy. I hope it’s a girl so that she will look beautiful just like you. And if the baby is a boy, he will be handsome just like me. Before I go to the surgery room, I wanna say something to you. I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see you again. I’m afraid, ___-ah. I love you so much. Meeting you are the best thing that ever happened in my life. You’re everything for me. I love you more than you can ever imagine. You had completely changed my whole life. Remember how you really hate me at first? I still can remember you look at me with full of hate. It’s kinda funny actually when we ended up being together. I don’t believe in love anymore since the day Jimin’s left me, but you’re the one that changed everything for me and made me to believe in love again. I want to say that I’m sorry for not being able to protect you for a longer time. Take a good care of yourself and our baby too. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I’m sorry for leaving you alone in this condition. I’m really sorry, ____ah. I’ve been a bad father for our baby. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry for me. I don’t want to see you cry. I hate it when you were crying. Be strong. I know you can live well even without me. You’re my strongbabe. I have to go now. Tell our baby that I love him so much and I hope he will remember me although he never see me. I’ll wait for you and our baby in heaven. I have to go now. I’ll wait. Be strong and keep smiling.”

You were burst into tears after you heard that message. You finally realised that Himchan was really gone. He’s not here anymore. He’s now already in a different world from you. You tried to accept the fact that Himchan already died.~

JC  : Omma!

YOU : Nae. What’s wrong, son?

JC   : Omma! Where’s appa? All the kids at the school always talk about their appa. Where’s my appa? I want to see and talk to appa too. And I want to brag about my appa to the other students too. Where’s appa?

YOU : Jaechan-ah.. Appa is not here anymore. He is resting right now and he is so far away from us. We will get to see him when the times come later on. Okay? I promise that we will see him later. He already promised us the he will wait for us. Be patient okay? *kiss his forehead*

JC : Really? Appa is waiting for us? Nae, omma. As long as I get to see appa. I’m gonna tell them now that my appa is waiting for me. *runs away*

You just smiled while looking at him. You know he still didn’t understand that Himchan was gone, but he will know about it when he already grow up later on.

‘Himchan-oppa! Did you see Jaechan just now? He is very excited to see you. Me too. I know it’s still a long time for us to get to see you, but you will wait for us right? Rest well oppa. I love you so much and I know you love me too. Our love will always exist in my heart.”

You cried again. Although it’s already been six years since Himchan died, but you felt like it was yesterday when you were meeting him for the first time. You didn’t realised that time actually flies too fast. You still remember the way he touch you and the way he kiss you. You also remember the way he treated you and how he tried to cook for you when you’re not feeling well. All of Himchan’s memory then started to play in your mind just like a movie. You smiled. You know that he is the best memory you ever had.~

-THE END-

Author note : I'm finally done with this fanfic. Waaa!~ Please don't bash me. I know it's the worst fanfic ever. I'm still new in this. I'm so so so sorry >< I know I'm bad :'( Thanks for reading! ^^