*HIMCHAN POV*

During the journey home, ____ was sleeping on my shoulders. At first, I was a little bit surprised but then, I just let her be. I hope she will felt comfortable on my shoulder. I noticed Changjo also fall asleep too at the front. I noticed that L.Joe was giving me a death stare and then he was saying something towards me. I really don’t get him. Why he was acting like he is _____’s boyfriend? That guy was just full of himself.  

When ____ woke up from her sleep, she looks so innocent and pretty. I really felt want to hug and kiss her right now but I can’t. She hates me and if I do that, she probably will hates me more and more. I can saw in her face that she was pretending like nothing happened between us just now. That face looks really nice in my eyes. I can’t help but to smile while looking at her. I quickly avoid her gaze when she suddenly look at me too.

We finally arrived home. We went out from the car and the three of us except Changjo walked inside the house. Suddenly, I heard L.Joe was calling for Changjo and asked for Changjo’s permission to let him to talk to his sister for a while. Changjo then allowed ____ to go and talk with L.Joe. I saw she then walked towards Changjo and when my eyes trying to fond L.Joe’s eyes, he gave me an evil smirks. What did it mean? I don’t know what will happen but I just ignored them and walked inside the house along with Changjo.

Changjo then went to the living room to watch television meanwhile I went straight to the kitchen first as I felt very thirsty. I pour the plain water from the jug into a glass and drank it. It tastes so nice. Then, I walked to living room to join Changjo watching television. My body was there but my mind and soul were not actually there. I kept thinking about what will happen with L.Joe and ____ outside.

CJ  : Yah! What were you thinking just now?

HC : Ani~ It’s nothing.

CJ   : Really? Your face obviously shows that you’re actually thinking about something. Well, if you don’t want to share it with me, it’s fine then. Besides, it might be a personal thing.

I just laugh awkwardly at Changjo’s words. I’ll never told anyone about my feelings for ___ . I’ll just kept my feelings as a secret for now. I don’t want anyone to find out about this especially ____ and Changjo although I failed to hide my feelings and L.Joe is the only one who knows about it.

CJ   : *look at his phone* Aigoo~ Himchan-ah, can I use your phone for a while? I want to call someone right now but unfortunately, I can’t use my phone now. Can I use yours for a while?

I then tried to take my phone from my pocket but then I realised that my phone was not there! Omo! Where could my phone been? I checked at other pocket but still, my phone was nowhere to be found. I told Changjo that I might forgot my phone inside L.Joe’s car and told him to wait for a while. I then went outside to search for my phone in L.Joe’s car. When I opened the door, I saw something that really broke my heart. I felt like my heart was just being stabbed by a knife for million times. I saw L.Joe and ____ . And they were kissing!

I immediately closed the door and watched for them from the window. I saw L.Joe was saying something to ____ and then he kiss her forehead gently. I don’t know what was he talking about but I’m sure that L.Joe was confessing his feelings towards ____ . I’m really sure about it as after that, L.Joe was showing a love sign towards ____ . And she smiled at him.

I tried my best to hold my tears but I just can’t. Just before my tears started to roll down my cheeks, I saw ____ was walking towards the door. I quickly walked away from there and hiding between the cupboard while hoping she will not see me there. Luckily, she didn’t saw me and walked to the living room. With a heavy steps, I walked to the bathroom.

I started to burst into tears after that. It really hurts me. I do admit now that I had fall too deep for her and I really can’t take it if she’s not mine. I should have gather up all my courage and told her about my feelings earlier. Now, it’s too late. It’s too late for me to confess anything to her. I guess she already dated L.Joe just now. This time, my heart really hurts like hell. This pain really hurt me million times more than the pain that Jimin’s caused. This feelings, I should forget it. Yes, I should forget all my feelings for ____ . That’s what I should do now. Although it hurts, but you can do it, Kim Himchan. Don’t let yourself to fall deeper for her. Forget about her. I promised myself that this is the last time I fall in love with someone. And I’ll never love again after this. I won’t love again.~