“Goodnight, Mom.” Zelo hangs up the phone, the click sounding loudly in the living room. Zelo looks around the house from the couch. Everything looks the same as before but there is a sense of emptiness in it. It’s feels like something is missing. Zelo sighs. He didn’t expect it to be so lonely.

The past week had been extremely torturous to Zelo. That day his mother came back with a man—a stranger he doesn’t even know, he knew his life is going to take big turn and he knew it was going to happen but the prediction didn’t prepare him for the change. It came like a meteorite, wrecking his life into contortion. ‘First Dad and now, Mom?’ Zelo picks up the family photo on the table—his mother and him, smiling ear to ear in their earmuffs and winter clothes. That year they were in Japan when the cherry blossoms were blooming the widest and the most beautiful, that was when Zelo thought his mother smiled the brightest and happiest. A smile grace his lips as Zelo recalled the blissful moments he spent with his mother.

However, the smile doesn’t last long as he senses the emptiness again. It almost feels cold. His heart fell as he remembers how undecided his mother was. He expected this to happen but his mother, hesistant and undecisive, just prolonged his pain. Zelo knows she wants to leave but the duties and obligation of a mother made her guilty. And the past week was just painful, watching her being torn apart between love and her son.

Zelo was crossed and depressed at the same time. ‘Why can’t she just leave? She’s just making it more painful for the both of us.’ The desolation in Zelo’s was unable to be ignored. He tried to be strong but it felt was too agonizing. Seeing his mother like this. She didn’t really cared about him, she was just guilty, afraid that she would be a bad mother by leaving her own son. But she never really felt any reluctance to abandon him—abandon seems a little harsh but all Zelo feels is abandonment right now.

Zelo feels a little ashamed of himself. He told himself to give his mother happiness but now he is behaving like a dependent child… Well maybe he is.

Zelo feels a little hungry. The takeout on the table is half-eaten but he doesn’t want to eat it anymore. He goes to the kitchen, opens the fridge door and stares at the almost empty racks. There’s only half a packet of cheese left and some orange juice. The rest are just some raw vegetables. Zelo finishes the orange juice straight from the carton in one swig and throws it away before opening the top cupboards, only to find the lack of instant noodles to his disappointment.

‘Everything is there when mom is here...’

Zelo slams the cupboard shut, a little disgruntled. A hungry man is an angry man and Zelo is no exception, especially because his growing body needs extra nutrient. He takes a glance at the wall clock, ticking noisily. It seems to be mocking the silence. Zelo goes to his room, picks up his baby blue hoodie, and makes his way out, once again avoiding seeing the vacant bedroom beside his. He picks up his keys, unlocks the door and goes out into the scary night he used to be so scared of when he was young.

Bad guys and ghosts. Those were the two things he was afraid of when he was little, but now all he is scared of loneliness and vacancy and they have both come to haunt him tonight.

Getting past the train station to get to the groceries store, Zelo can’t help but think of Yongguk. How he wish he can have his companionship right now… He had never felt more lonely in his life than now. The thought that his mother is going to start a new family that doesn’t include him makes a hole in his heart, like a worm gnawing on him, feeding on him. He is starting to feel that loneliness is a disease and he’s at the final stage.

>>>>>> 

The wind blows and chills run underneath Zelo’s woolen hoodie. He clutches his bags of groceries tighter and picks up his speed. Walking underneath the dim streetlights, Zelo feels like a wandering moth, searching for warmth in the darkness. He notices two burly men walking towards him on the deserted street. Despite standing at more than 1.8 metres tall, Zelo feels scrawny and little as he notices the tattoos and piercings on the two men’s bulky bodies. Diverting his eyes away, Zelo hopes not to get into trouble by attracting the attention of the suspicious pair. Zelo releases a breathe of air he has been holding in as the two men pass him.

The lit train station comes into view again and Zelo slows down in his steps, feeling safe in the light from the station. His eyes wander and spots a figure sitting on the ground, legs sprawled, leaning against one of the white pillars outside the station. His head hangs low and his hands lie between his legs weakly. A train arrives at the station and the distant screech of the rails resonates through Zelo’s ears as he recognizes the figure.

Clutching his bags of groceries, Zelo dashes over to the person, wearing the familiar cap, ‘REBEL’.

“Hyung.” Zelo bends down, trying to catch a glimpse of the face hidden by the cap. He is sure it is Yongguk. The lazy way he sits is recognizable anywhere to Zelo. That cap and the way those shoulders slump lazily around his neck too.

Seeing no response, Zelo squats down, puts his groceries beside him and lifts Yongguk’s cap slightly, expecting a smiling face as his own lips pull into a smile.

“Hyung.” Zelo repeats again, his eyes wide in shock as he sees blood-dyed lips, bruised at the corner. He takes off Yongguk’s cap to see a beaten Yongguk, his face battered. There are bruises on his cheeks and a cut beside his left eye but the blood seems to have dried up. He must’ve been here for a quite some time now. Zelo touches Yongguk’s shoulder, concerned and worried that he haven’t been responding at all.

Yongguk’s chin raises slowly. Underneath the messy locks of fringe, a pair of cold, unmoving eyes sends chills down Zelo’s spine. This isn’t the Yongguk Hyung he knows. Those eyes are those of a panther, icy and lacking of emotions. Fires burn in his eyes but they are not warm at all.

As if only noticing him, Yongguk’s eyes closes and he breaths through his nose, lips twitching slightly due to the bruises.

“Zelo-ah.” Yongguk’s low voice rumbles familiarly and Zelo inwardly heaves a sigh of relief despite noticing the raspy edge in it.

“Hyung, what happened?” The image of the two suspicious men immediately flashes through Zelo’s mind.

Yongguk chuckles to himself quietly, almost disturbingly to Zelo. “I’m a bad student remember?” Yongguk takes his cap from Zelo’s hand and puts it on again, adjusting it slightly. And Zelo notices his bloodied knuckles.

“I picked a fight just now.” Yongguk grins crookedly.

“Hyung…” Worry fills Zelo’s mind as he examines Yongguk, looking at the cuts and bruises on him. His white T-shirt is spotted with blood and Zelo’s wonders is it is Yongguk’s. The night is cold and Yongguk is only wear a T-shirt and jeans with a pair of black high ankle sneakers, red at the soles. His dog tag necklace dangles at his neck as Yongguk bends forward, groaning at the pain caused by his slight movement.

Zelo puts his bags of groceries at one side and holds them with one hand, using the other to hook Yongguk’s arm, pulling him up. Yongguk grunts in pain as he stands up with Zelo’s support.

“Let’s go hyung.” Zelo pulls Yongguk with him, despite the protests of pain and stumbled footsteps.

“Where are we going?” For the first time, at this moment, Yongguk doesn’t see Zelo as a younger child, soft and vulnerable.

“My house.”

Yongguk limps behind Zelo, their hands interlocked palm to palm. As if just woken up from a trance, Yongguk asks, surprised, “Aren’t your parents at home? They can’t see you bringing a friend like this back home!” Yongguk winces at the pain near his mouth.

“They are… not at home.” Zelo chose not to much because explaining will be tiresome.

Battered and worn-out by the fight, Yongguk just follows Zelo silently. The two trail under the skinny streetlights, lighting their way in the chilly night.

>>>>>> 

A clattering of keys and the two boys find themselves in Zelo’s home after a tiring walk from the train station. Zelo throws his bags on the floor, reaching for the light switch as he continues to hold onto Yongguk. The lights make Yongguk squint as he t