“Hello.”

“Hello, Yongguk.”

“Maria…”

“Yongguk? You sound terrible!”

“Maria… don’t come to the house today. I’m in the hospital.”

There was a silence on the other end while Yongguk tries to hold back a sob.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Maria’s voice came out a lot calmer than Yongguk’s raspy and trembling one.

“My father, he’s in the hospital.” Yongguk bites down on his trembling lower lip.

A sigh came through the receiver. “I’m coming over. Don’t worry, Yongguk.”

Yongguk plainly nods and then hangs up when the other end pauses for a while followed by a click and monotonous beeps. He feels like a child for being so weak in contrast to Maria’s serenity over the news. Maybe it’s because he haven’t tell her the real reason behind his father’s admittance to the hospital.

His hand grips onto his phone as he glances over his shoulder to look through the gaps between the slow shifting curtains behind the glass to see his father lying on the bed motionlessly. He could almost feel his father’s heavy breathing just by staring at his chest heaving slowly underneath the cover.

He was in the room this morning, quietly looking down at his father’s wrinkled face, observing the lines on his features and comparing the face with traces of pain to the one he remembers from memory, smiling benevolently. He found himself gripping fists at his side, digging his nails into his palm as he felt yet another urge to cry. He wondered what’s up with him. The memories of his happy childhood would’ve been a colourful playback of his life before his family shattered but now it just haunts a part of him that is being gnawed on by guilt.

There were times when he wished his father was dead so that he can be free but now that his long-awaited ‘freedom’ is in sight, the bird inside of him doesn’t really want to leave the cage it thought it loathes so much.

He felt like he was part of an exaggerated drama that plays in the evening, the rebellious child that never learnt his lesson until he was forced to lose everything and his father would be the successful businessman who had everything but nothing. He hoped this was just a dream that he could wake up from.

He looks down at his hands, feeling the weight around his eyes. He must’ve cried all night without even knowing. Feeling the traces of tears on his face, Yongguk walks lethargically to the restroom to wash his face. The cool water can wake no part of him up. The mirror stands a haggard-looking boy who thought he had nothing. He quirks a cold smile at the pale face in the reflection.

How funny that he learns of his possessions only when they’re slipping out of his hands.

Maria arrives at the hospital, looking at Yongguk with concerned eyes as she puts an arm around him and pulls him into a hug. Yongguk needed that. He wraps his arms around Maria and shuts his eyes tightly. He takes a deep breath after being released by Maria’s arms, getting ready to announce the news without letting loose another tear.

“He… My Dad… He has cancer… stomach cancer.” Yongguk swallows after the last word, feeling the thickness in his throat and waits for the shock that never came. Maria senses the puzzlement from Yongguk’s eyes and pulls him to sit down.

“I know. I know before you did.”

That came as a shock to Yongguk.
 

“How?”

“Your father fell ill weeks ago and I went to the hospital to see him. He didn’t want me to tell you.” Maria pauses for the sake of Yongguk.
 

The shock on his face morphs slowly into anger and misery. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Your father begged me not to tell you. He didn’t want you to worry, dear.” Maria hugs Yongguk again, her own eyes dampening as a tear rolls down the side of her face.

“You should’ve have told me!” Yongguk bawls.

“I’m sorry, honey. I couldn’t… I promised your father…”

“I don’t know what to do, Maria. I’m so lost…” Yongguk’s words were overcome by sobs and the sight breaks Maria’s heart. She sees the face of a lost boy that she haven’t seen for years. She knew the boy still lives inside Yongguk but never expected to see him again like this, crying and helpless like how he was when she first stepped foot in the spacious house.

Maria wipes the tears off Yongguk’s face and coaxes him gently. “It’s alright, dear. He’ll be fine. The doctor says there’s still chances of recovery.” She is slightly surprised by the calmness in her tone.

“He won’t die, would he?”

“But he refuses to get treated.”

Yongguk’s eyes narrows slightly, sadness overcome by rage. “Is it because of his company?” Yongguk grits his teeth.

Maria can’t answer, seeing the fury in Yongguk’s eyes.

“How important is his company to him? It’s more important than his life?” Yongguk bursts out in anger, forgetting that he is in a hospital. “Or does he love money so much? Doesn’t he already have enough?”

“Yongguk…”

“What’s wrong with him? He’s dying already and he still wants to work? It’s so important? So important…” The anger turns into helpless depression as Yongguk continues.

After composing themselves, Maria takes a step into the room, with Yongguk behind her, afraid to see his father. This morning he stayed in the room until his father showed signs of awakening then he disappeared as quietly as he could from the room. He didn’t dare see him, the frail-looking man so different from the devil of a father he hated so much. He couldn’t face him after re