Why am I even here in the first place? I shouldn’t be here… I am not fit to be here…

Zelo sits under a tree beside his school field, unaffected by the heat of the midday in his uniform. Bringing his knees close to his chest, he rests his chin between them and continues to ponder.

It has only been two months since he entered this school and he already feels lost. He did well in his admission exam but when he came into this school ranked top nationally, he doubt his ability to be able to make it through even the first year in this junior college he wanted so badly to get in. Elated when he received his brilliant results obtained through hard work during nights of studying endlessly, the first thing Zelo did was submit his choice of admission. Set his eyes on this top school ever since his second year, Zelo worked hard towards his goal bit by bit and day by day. During the long tired wait for the announcement of results, Zelo often held large dreamy hopes about getting brilliant ‘A’s lined up in one straight row on his result slip but he often comforted himself for the might-have despair as well. He was filled with joy when he received the call that he was admitted to his dream school. The first few days was wonderful, a memory he would never forget. The orientation period was bliss. In this school many people thought was elite, he kept a doubt that he will ever make friends in this place filled with geniuses and smart students but experience proved it wrong. Friends discouraged him from entering this school with the same old reason that people are all elitists who looked down on ordinary students like him. Zelo paid no attention to those ‘advice’. He knew they weren’t true. Zelo anticipated two years of experience he will never forget in this place. All the good friends and pride he gained. He’s the family’s honour.

Or so he knew.

Zelo picks up a leaf from the ground, withered and dry. It crunched when he crushed it.

Everything started to fall apart when school officially started. School work and lessons are harder than what he expected. He realized what it really meant by ‘elite’. It was too hard for him to cope, the lessons were difficult to understand, the homework was like a puzzle he couldn’t solve. He tried seeking help from his classmates but it soon became a chore to them. The amiable smiles turned to sneers.

“You don’t even know how to do this?”

Those mean words replayed over and over in Zelo’s mind as he tried to fall asleep every night. The mockery through despicable subtle words and actions hurt more than teasing.

Zelo sigh and bury his face in his knees.

He learned not to ask. His test marks are a terrible mess. He foresees the day his stoic teacher calls his parents to tell him what a failure he is in school.

Zelo groans as tears threaten to escape. He wills himself not to cry and looks up to the sky where the glaring sun is. A cloud saunters by and blocks the blind