:: Minho 

Maybe it was just me, but it definitely felt like time had slow down. At a crucial time like this, I felt so helpless; and that was too obvious to be denied. But as I rushed forward again, time began to resume to its own pace and all of a sudden she was gone. Just gone. 

Ironic, isn't it? As I toppled over and landed flat on my stomach, all I could do was reach out for her, while her eyes held an indescribable expression; a blank and sorrowful eyes told me she was already long gone. Woebegone. 

" Minho! Get your act together, that isn't her," Surprisingly, that voice was oddly familiar. I couldn't bring myself to stand up and turn around so instead, I rolled over and sat up, supporting myself with my arms. 

It was Taemin. Right, why haven't I figured that out before? 

" That's not her.." He repeated, shaking his head multiple times. I stared at him confusedly, waiting for perhaps, his explanation of saying so; and he did. An explanation that blowed my head up and is just too much for me to take in at that moment. 

" Her? She's Sulli, not Jinri." What in the world? So right here was the place where I have spoke to Sulli while thinking she was Jinri? I'm as confused as ever. Sulli was pretending to be Jinri? What for? 

Questions bombarded my mind as I rose slowly. They desperately needed to be answered or I swear I might really go insane. I used to think I knew everything about Jinri, and that she knows nothing about me at all; nothing about what I feel all these years, but turns out I was wrong. Extremely wrong. 

" I've found out something, but I don't want to speak of it here, lets get out of here first," He said, " And don't worry about Jinri, she's with Victoria and Luna, for the time being." 

" Where are we going?" I just felt the need to ask. 

" Where else? To find them," 

" Are you okay, Minho-yah?" I was still trying to process everything. 

" Minho?" She repeated. 

I clamped my hands over my ears as I shook my head. I didn't want to listen to anyone at all now; let alone Jinri. It's far too much for me to take in and I feel sick. Sick in the stomach. 

" Just, leave me alone," I half-whispered and half-shouted, and stood up from where I was sitting from and tried moving out of the way, almost stumbling over the rails around the place. A hand stubbornly still reaches out to me even when they knew better not to say anything to me when I'm in a mood. 

" Hey, you-" 

The next thing wasn't exactly unexpected, but maybe it was because of my rage and the headache I'm getting. The hand that tried to touch me was then automatically grabbed by my own hands as I pulled him over and made him topple over me, which I  knew would badly injure his back if I was too aggressive. 

He groaned in pain as Luna rushed over and bent down to help him. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Jinri's eyes displaying hurt and guilt. Tears clouded my vision soon after and I ran out of the shelter.

" Minho! Minho-yah!" I just kept running, and running. Away from the figure that tried to keep up with me. 

The moon shifted from behind the black clouds to the open space decorated with twinkling stars in the background. It's beautiful, yet empty. 

I sat alone, leaning against the wishing fountain, listening to the sound of clear water pouring down while at the same time observing the moon above as I took another gulp from the bottle of Soju I happened to bought earlier. Bittersweet. Yes, that's how I like it to taste like. 

I swayed the bottle from left to right as I tilted my head and started imagining things. I was too drunk to realise I was drunk. The bottle, for some reason began to resemble Jinri. I squinted my eyes and shook my head, but she was still there. Her expression was as indescribable as it always has been since I first met her. She started mouthing words. 

" I'm sorry," Repeatedly. 

Yeah, your sorry. 

" We're almost there, Minho," Taemin muttered. My feet couldn't support me anymore as my knees buckled. Taemin sighed as he knelt down and gently pulled me up again, letting me lean on his shoulder. I felt like such a lame and weak person as I gripped onto his sleeve completely for support. 

I never wanted him to see how weak I can be, because that's the only weapon I can use to make people feel intimidated, make them stay away from me or else they will just rip my wound apart again and leave me there, bleeding helplessly. 

Sulli's body has been abandoned back at that building, but the more I think of the conversation we had, the more confused I was as to why she was speaking as if she was Jinri herself. Millions of thoughts were running through my mind when we reached the familiar place. 

It was a small shelter near the woods- correction, it was a small shelter near the wilderness; where our tree house once stood. Jinri stood up almost immediately when she saw us. I almost couldn't make out whether she was Sulli or Jinri. 

Luna along with Victoria and the others were there, too. I could see they were also utterly confused; I bet they thought they knew her better too. Krystal was the only one with a complete straight face, she has some conspiracy with them two, I bet. 

I sat as further away from Jinri as I could and I know she sensed it too, although she didn't say anything. Taemin was right beside me, fidgeting; and for a moment there was silence. Nightfall was soon, and the moon is already up. Amber broke the ice. 

" Go on, tell us everything," She suddenly said, looking at Jinri, " And by that, I mean absolutely everything." Jinri looked up with a tear-stricken face at Taemin, but he only nodded her head, signalling her to go on. 

" Okay. I will, now." 

" Sulli was my twin sister. My real name is Jinri. Borned on the same day, same hour but 44 minutes apart. She's my older sister, and she was always the one that has my back. She loved me.. And I loved her. We were practically inseparable. But things started changing when Taemin moved into the house opposite from our house. The boy with the mushroom haircut? You might question; yes. Yes, that's him. Sulli knew I liked him by the way I wanted to play with him every weekend, and how I just do everything he tells me to do, but she never told him. 

Instead, she got more closer to him and sort of.. Pushed me out of the way. I'm always on the sidelines, watching them being all close and doing cutesy things to each other, then pretend like I'm not there. A few months later, I found Sulli wearing a lilac leotard with peach coloured tights and a new, glossy pair of ballet shoes. Her slim figure was quite a thing I've always envied about her. I remembered her turning at me and asked, " Do you think I look okay in these?" And I would nod like a puppy dog and she would hug me. 

I wanted to tag along, but she said I was underage. I did not understand that time, considering I was the same age as her. Later on then, I found out the reason. Taemin was in the same dance studio as her. He did ballet occasionally but mostly did hip hop and jazz. Taemin was there to partner her when they needed to do a duet; and they were the best dance couple compared to other students. The boys from other classes looked up to Sulli, while the girls swoon over Taemin's good looks even as he grew. 

How did I found out? Why, I simply just had to follow my mom when she goes to fetch Sulli and probe around the studio. There was absolutely no student who didn't know them, and I got a vast information from all of them. In fact, the teachers thought they were so good together that they even took a picture of them two, smiling up at the camera; and the photo was pinned on the soft board where everyone can see. I almost couldn't keep myself from tearing that photo up, - that's how much I wanted Taemin for myself.

Day by day, my jealousy grew; slowly extending to hatred. And then one day, my opportunity came. The 'accident' happened and Sulli was supposedly dead. From then on, I had lived as Sulli, going to her dance lessons as her and having the time of my life with Taemin, - finally. It wasn't hard to be like her, in fact I blended in so well the thought that I was once Jinrir had never crossed my mind. 

Days, months, years passed normally.

Until one fine evening when someone we were not expecting came knocking at our door. I thought it was my dad, considering how he never really comes home and if he did, it would be an unexpected time, so I opened the door. There, stood someone that reflected my own being, like a mirror; except that person had dark circles and heavy makeup, not to mention the way she dressed was something I could call ty. 

" Hey sis, long time no see." My mom found out that very day that I was Jinri, and not Sulli. She was altogether confused and angry at me, but I guess things slowly make its way round. I knew she could never forgive me, but she could not afford to lose me too. We pushed Sulli out of the door everytime she came and asked for money, and it didn't took us long to find out that she was a drug attic. A messed up one. I'm not even sure if she was still a ; but I daren't not ask her. 

There was once when she came to our door and cried out that the guy she loved and gave everything to, left her. Perhaps she was too untidy and smelly for him. But the worst thing was that, she was conceiving his child. We all know that a child can't do without a father! That was the only time we gave in and helped her all we could; and our dad was actually still clueless on all of these. Since we were rich, money wasn't a problem. But after all the effort we put in for the baby and her health, the baby died in its mother's womb. 

The hour that she found out her baby was gone was the exact same hour she went insane. She suffered from severe Subtance use disorder, Melancholia disorder as well as personality disorder, but hers also involve in where one tends to speak like they're someone else. This, was something we could not help her with. As much as I hated her, I felt immense guilt seeing her like this, because I was the cause of it. I fell into depression; but was later on cured. The visits of Sulli never ended though, until recently where she tried plotting on ways to kill me. 

I had already stopped meeting up with Taemin until the last two years of highschool, where he transferred to my school. I thought I was over him, but I found out I never really was. I just buried it deep down. I started building up feelings for him again until University, where we both entered the same Uni and joined the music course. We never talked to each other much, though. It was rather awkward between us.

He probably had thought I forgotten about the first love he and Sulli had, which I am her, in this case; and wrote a love letter to me. It just so happened to have landed in my hands in detention, - the day I met you, Minho." 

Her face dissolved as soon as I focused back on the bottle. My grip around it tightened as I gulped down the last mouthful of Soju down my throat. 

" S-Sulli-yah, do you know how much I love you?" 

The bottle slipped from my hand and fell to the ground beside me, sharp pieces of glass shattered across the ground. 

" Do you know... That, it's really hard for me to... Believe you've done all that?" I shifted myself a little but a sharp prick made me lift my hand quickly, only to find blood dripping slowly down my palm. I didn't care at all at this point of time, it doesn't even pain anymore, there's even more painful things for me to face right now. 

:: Sulli 

I watched painfully as I press my hand against my chest. He was hurt, and I badly just want to run up to him and hold him; but even now that was impossible for me. I heard every single thing he said, even though it was through a muffled voice.

" I love you too, Minho. I love you no matter what," I leaned against the hard wall that seperated me from him and shut my eyes subconsciously; before looking back at him, then down at myself pitifully.

This is what we are now, - Woebegone.