:: Sulli

'' You can never know, you can never feel, how much I've fallen for you,

  you will never know, never understand the haunting past,

  cause' if you knew, your vulnerable self might break.

  You will never know, never understand the haunting past,

  that's why I can't pro-mise you, No-oh,

  I can't pro-mise you anything,

  cause' promises are meant to be broken,''

There he was, sitting beside me, acting like nothing happened at all. I stared at his feautures as he scribbled something in his spiral black notebook. Probably the first, I would say, that he has been doing his own work without me giving him all the answers the whole time.

I quickly focused back to my work when I realised I've been staring too long. But the funny thing was, the supposedly notebook filled with scribbles and numbers are now filled with lyrics and music notes.

Am I hallucinationg now? No, It didn't seem so. What's even more amusing is that the lyrics matched the song I am listening through the headphones. And it made sense to me in my situation now, considering how I have always thought that love song are just a bunch of rubbish. I closed my eyes as the music carried me away.

It was one of my favourites. I twirled the pen in between my fingers and lightly smiled. Unknowingly though, a sentence slipped through my lips according to the song.

'' Cause' promises are meant to be broken~''

I pressed my lips together immediately and looked down at my book, which now has the original same scribbles and numbers. Weird.  Despite me acting like nothing came out of my mouth at all, Minho definitely caught it though. He looked at me square in the face for the first time since yesterday. Out of the corner of my eyes i could see how pale he looked, like he had been starving for at least a day.

'' What song are you listening?'' He voiced. I shivered a little at his question. Or should i say, his voice. It sent chills down my spine for no reason. It wasn't the first time hearing him talk, but in a long while, yes. I guess that's why it had the same effect on me like the first time, though i never admitted it to myself, of course.

'' Can i ever get used to this?'' I muttered under my breath, causing Minho to frown a little as if he was straining to hear what i said. Which, in this case he was.

'' Sorry, what?'' He leaned in a little. I gained my composure quickly.

'' Smoke and Mirrors,'' I said, slowly. I looked at him before quickly added, '' Do you want to listen?''

Minho stared at my ipod for a bit before nodding with merely a small smile. I pulled one of my ear plugs and held it out for him. He took it and tried to make it stay plugged in his right ear, but it kept on falling off as it was too short, plus he was sitting further away from me.

Without warning, he scooted closer to me, dragging his chair along. His right shoulder brushed gently against mine, and once again, I had that same electrocuted feeling. 

" There. It finally stays," Minho chuckled a little, waiting for me to press play. I laughed along, but awkwardly. 

The song was actually already half-way through, so I dragged the button back to the start and pressed play. 

" Day by day, I never know how to face you, 

  Day by day, it hurts just looking at you, 

 Day by day, wishing I can tell you everything, 

 But everytime I try to, 

 You were never listening. 

 It's as if smoke was covering our visions, 

 As if mirrors were reflecting ourselfs, 

 Making it impossible for us to see each other," 

He had cried himself to sleep. The loud whimpers and yells became quiet mutters and whispers. Even so, it felt like he was still insecure. He still gripped onto my sleeve, and every now and then he wakes up a little just to see if I'm still there with him. 

Kim Soo min, the 20th of February, 1999. It was his mother. His father has mentioned that Minho has never dated a girl, but if he did, he never lasted for more than a few weeks.

The only girl he has ever loved more than himself was.. Her. And here he was, for the first time, showing me how fragile he could be on the inside. He trusted me enough to show me.

" Umma.. Umma.. I'm so sorry.." He muttered. I felt more confused than ever. What was he sorry for? I mean, it's not like her death has anything to do with him, right? Or.. Does it? My train of thoughts was interrupted as he starts muttering again.

" I'm so.. Sorry. It was.. My fault.. I did it.. I did it.. I did it!" He literally screamed the last three words as he woke up immediately, only finding him still clutching onto my sleeve and my dirty face in front of him. I tried to get my act together.

" Are you okay, Minho? Do you want to talk about it with me? I'm-" He leaned away quickly, like he was trying to run away without standing up. More than that, there was fear. Fear clearly shown in his eyes. He shook his head numerous times and continued to back away. I reached out for him, but he just shrinks away again.

I was really worried for him. Seeing him this scared made me scared too. Like I was a criminal and he was my target. I took a deep breath and pulled a straight face. Well, I tried to. 

" Okay. I won't ask you anything. After this, I won't talk either, but let me walk you home, okay? I'll walk you home so you can have a rest." He looks doubtful at first, but then he opened his mouth.

" I don't want to go home," He said, looking away.

" Then where do you want to go?" I asked. I doubt he would even answer this time. But he did. 

" I-I, I.." He pointed a finger at me like he couldn't say the rest of what he intended to tell me. 

" M-me?" He nodded. 

" You mean, you want to go to my home?" He nodded his head again, only now with a slight pink tint on his cheeks. I chuckled a little before approaching him. Again, he backed away unconsciously. But I held the muddy hands of his in mine and pulled him up. 

On the way to my home, I noticed a faint silhouette slightly behind us, following us. I stopped. It stopped. I turned back, but as I expected, there was no one there. I frowned a little before facing the front, continuing home with Minho's arms slung over my shoulder. And when we reached home, Umma helped Minho settle down in my room. 

Time past as I just sat there, staring at his peaceful face. It was barely night when he woke up. From there, he apologised many times before leaving the house in a hurry. Well, I can't blame him either. 

But as I watched his fading figure disappear in the distance, I prayed for his safety back home.

Or rather, I secretly prayed that no one follows him home. 

Sometimes just like the song, I wished there was no Smoke and Mirrors at all. Let the Mirrors be turned into transparent glass and let the smoke be turned into fresh, clear air, so that nothing can keep us apart. 

And we would be able to see each other. 

" Sulli?" 

He called me just as the flashback ended. I turned my head slightly and faced him.

" Yeah?"

" What are you thinking? You look so dreamy.. Yet scared." Should I tell him? No. Maybe not. It would only worry him more if he knows. I decided to stay silent for a moment, thinking of a legit excuse to tell him. 

" It's nothing, really." Minho seemed doubtful but convinced enough, so he didn't ask me anything after that. 

We didn't meet during lunch hours or in classes after that morning. I didn't even see him wandering around with the so-called 'Swag' every girl talks about. In fact, they crowded around me and kept asking where he is, even though I repeated countless times that I have not seen him. Some even swore at me before stomping off. I never knew they were that desperate to see him. 

Thank God my friends were there. They helped me out of the mess and we went to some place behind the block for privacy. Krystal seemed a little uneasy as we all walked there. I couldn't stand it any longer as she kept on fidgeting. 

" Hey, Krystal," I nudged her. She was in her own world and I had to call her the second time before she responded. 

" Oh, did you say something?" I shook my head. 

" No, I was trying to get your attention. Why do you look so nervous?" She immediately looked away and responded with a small ' Oh, it's nothing important.' But obviously, she won't be that nervous if it wasn't important. We were now sitting on a curb on the side of the road in which cars can drive by the back of the block.

Thankfully, the other three were talking among the selfs intently. I turned to Krystal again to find her looking down. 

" Don't act like its nothing important, because clearly it is. Tell me what's up," I pressed on. There is enough drama in two days for me. If there is anything she's hiding from me, I want to know now. She gulped before taking a deep breath. 

" Do you dance, Sulli?" Okay, what kind of question is that? But instead of telling her what I feel, I answered her question. 

" Yeah.. I do. Why?" Upon hearing this, she went paler than usual. She faced me completely. 

" This was definitely Not you. Tell me the truth, Sulli." She shoved a picture into my hands and I scanned it quickly, only to find myself in a massive shock. 

" H-how did y-you get this?" I trembled. Krystal gave me a look instead. 

" I found it in the old dance studio, when I practised with Taemin. He was staring at it the whole time," 

I didn't say anything. I just stared at the picture that terrorises my mind more and more, I just couldn't take my eyes of it. Krystal shook her head as if she was disappointed. 

" You lied again," I opened my mouth to protest, but she wasn't done just yet. 

" For how long do you plan to tell us? Tell him the truth?" She raised her voice now, and Victoria and the other two stopped chattering, nearing us quickly. I tried to make her stop. At a time like this, I just didn't want the others to get mixed up with what had seemed like my business. But now is both mine and Krystal's. 

Now I wished there was Smoke and Mirrors to keep us apart now, to keep the angry Krystal apart from me. So she can't see me and I would be able to run away. But sadly, no. The truth will be revealed sooner or later. 

" Guys, what's going o-" 

Luna was cut off rudely by Krystal, who ignored their presence and stared straight at Sulli. 

" I want to know the truth now. Spill the beans." 

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Like I have promised, I would do a double update. 

Are you guys curious now? Or did you already know? If you have been observative, there was a slight hint in chapter ::o8 Shampoo. 

But anyways, I'm getting excited! The next button should already be there, so click it now! Hahaha. ;)

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