“”We just cant continue like this” Onew said to me as I plead him not to

“Jinki stop this...please” tears run down through my cheeks as I hug him from his back

I held tight on him..Never letting go. Never giving up

I felt his hands on mine. I was locking my arms on him but he tries to break it. He moved forward and there...That’s how he broke up with me

I sprung up in bed after that dream. I was breathing hard and I felt a knocking pain on my temples. What happened? I remember how I had a drink last night and had a little argument with eonnies. And that’s the last thing I can remember right now.

I scan the room and I am very sure that I am in my house. But how did I get here? I rubbed my eyes and I saw onew sitting on the chair in front of my bed, staring at me blankly. His hand supporting his head and his eyes were telling me a lot of things that I don’t understand.

“Have you been here the whole night?”

I asked him but he didn’t respond instead he just stared at me and I think it’s kind of rude

“Hey, are you listening? Is something wrong?”

But still.. I don’t know what happened but my headache plus his stupid act is making me irritated in the morning.

He threw my phone in front of me and some letters. What are these?

“What’s this?”

“Why haven’t you told me anything?”

He took a deep breath but I can see his eyes being so furious at me

“About what? What are you talking about?”

“DONT PLAY DUMB ON ME MINJUNG!”

“Why are you shouting at me?”

“You’ve been receiving these letters and messages and you haven’t told me anything?! How long are going to keep this from me? You’re making me feel like I cant even protect you!” he was screaming in front of me as I was processing ever bit of what he is saying

And CRAP.

The death letters and text messages. I haven’t removed them nor disposed them. That was a stupid move. He found them

“Jinki...”

“Dont play like this on me Minjung. Dont you trust me?”

“Please stop shouting”

“So what do you want me to do? Sit here in front of you and act like I don’t know anything?”

“I don’t know why you’re mad at me where in fact your fans have been continuously giving those!” I threw a pillow on him

“So you’re telling me this is my fault now?!”

“Then why should this be my fault?”

“If you could have just told me then I might stop this”

“How can you? Can you even control them? Do you even love me?”

“Now you’re questioning my love for you? I should be the one asking you that! You cant even say these simple things to me!”

“You call this simple? They threatened me with those... those s and you call it simple?” I cant control my tears and they all start flowing endlessly

“This could have been solved earlier”

“Dont you get it? They hate me! Why don’t you just go and have some flirting time with your fellow idols, that’s what they like right?”

“What are you saying Minjung?!”

“You are not even proud of me. All you do is to hide me from everyone and let them think you’re going out with someone else!”

“Let’s stop this!”

He walked out and slammed the door. I hugged my knees and cried with all my might. I don’t know if living in that nightmare is better than this but I truly am hurt.

I called someone who I can talk to.

......

“Hello?”

“Hi!...wait are you crying?”

“It’s just that...”

“You’re crying”

“I just need someone to talk to and I think you can help me with this”

“I am here listening to you. Tell me your problem”

“Can you just meet me?’

“Okay”