Music was once my everything..

SUZY POV

When I was done eating, I went back to my room and prepared my clothes and all my stuffs that I will be using for this day. I remember I left my small towel last night inside the Music Room, so I went there to get it. 

"Hey" Hoya was outside the music room

"I didnt know you have interest in Music.." he added. I just smiled at him and acted like I dont know what he's talking about.

"Huh? I never had interest in Music." I told him. He was going to say something but didnt bother to open his mouth. 

"Go spill out what you want to say." I added

"I am genius, Suzy. Why would you left your towel here if you didnt go here... and maybe even played piano?" He really is a genius man. 

"I was just curious on how this room looks like so I went here last night." I lied. He just shook his head but told me 'okay i believe you' after. I went back to my room, sat down beside the window and opened my diary. 

/ flashback /

2 years ago after Min auditioned to Korea to be a trainee.. and a kpop star, we had this Music Festival going on at School.

"Suzy!" Min called me, i can see excitements filling her eyes. 

"Hey" I greeted her. 

4 days ago, I found out that Dad was managing a kpop group 'infinite' in Korea for almost 6 months now. I was disappointed at him for how he didnt inform me about it. He only gets home every friday-sunday. He used to tell me he has something important to do. 

"Have you auditioned for this year's school K-Pop Music Festival?" she asked. I nodded at her. I sang my original song 'So Many Tears" and hoping i'll get accepted. K-Pop Music Festival is an event of our School that would bring up a lot of excitements to all of us. I am from U.S but studying in a Korean Internation School. That's the reason why we have this kind of festival. 

After our lunch break, we noticed all the students were chatting around the bulletin board. As I was going to look for what is posted on it.. 

*pooook*

Someone threw me a ball. 

"Hey Suzy BAE. The daughter of Infinite's Manager." I turned to look at her.

"You've got the #1 spot. And we cant believe it because you have such a poor voice and a bad dancing skills." She said as she flip her hair. 

"And.. you were accepted because the school is so bias. They want you because you are a daughter of a successful man who got to steal Infinite's trusts. " she added. I didnt fought back instead just glared at her for a moment and walked out of the crowd.

Since that day, I only got Min beside me. I got bullied by all of them and they'll threat me and will always ask me to do things for Infinite. Every friday night, I will sneak in to my Dad's room and would put all their gifts and letters for Infinite. Dad has no choice but to bring them all in Korea. 

"Give this to them or I'll tell your dad you're dating Kai." 

Kai has been my ultimate crush. I like him to death, but never noticed me. I am still young and my father trusts this girl who's bullying and threatening me. Unfortunately, I can't tell my dad all about these things for her father and my dad are great bestfriends. 

1 month passed, and the day i've been waiting for has finally come: the K-Pop Music Festival. I got the last number which means i will be performing last. 

Min performed first, second was Fei, thrid was Jia and the bullies were the next ones. 

Carla Park A.K.A The Bully hit the last note of the song 'Heavan'. I heard the crowd cheered for her.

"Carla! Carla! Carla!"

And then it was now my turn... I went out the curtain... now on the stage..

"Boo! Boo!" They cheered in unison

That moment, I just felt like running away. But when I started to play the Piano, everybody shut up and just listened to me. But when I got on the chorus and was now going to sing 'Bad Girl Good Girl' everybody stood up.

I smiled, thinking they were going to cheer me up and were giving me a standing ovation. But I was completely wrong. They all stood up and went to the exit door. The lights above me was turned off and I heard Carla's voice on the speaker. 

"Everybody let's go home. I won!! This is Carla~" 

The mic fell off from my hand and tears were now running on my cheeks. Jia came up on the stage with me and hugged me. "Maybe this is not yet the right time for you to show off your amazing talent." she whispered as she comfort me. 

After that day, I never joined a singing or dance competition again. I never played instrument again. And my love for Music has faded away. 

Since that day, I keep on blaming my dad for this. 

"If my dad never became Infinite's Manager, this will not happen. I will be the girl who shows off her real talent." 

/ end of flashback / 

I realized, it was not my dad's fault. But it is my fault. When I saw my dad and Infinite laughing together, I realized I am such a lame daughter. I never once in my life laughed with him like that and never had a serious and a heart-to-heart conversation with him. 

If I'm on my father's side, I too.. would choose these guys. 

"Suzy, are you alright?" My dad asked. How can he just appear right there without knocking -__- But I decided not to argue with him.

"Dad....." I called him when I noticed he's going to leave the room. Because him: knowing me, I will not answer him and will just ask him to leave me alone. 

He quickly turned back to look at me with a big smile on his face. "Yes, suzy?" he asked. 

I've been so bad to my dad. He always tries to make me smile but I always try not to smile at him and just acts cold. But the truth is I really want to be like the other girls who would talk and laugh with her father. 

"I'm sorry for blaming you.." words finally came out from my mouth. I rushed to him and hugged him as the tears  fall down from my eyes and ran down through my cheeks.

"It's not your fault, Suzy" he hugged me even tighter and comforted me.

"... sorry dad, i don't think I'll be able to like Music ever again." I lied. I just dont want  to remember my past again. Last night, I went to the Music Room. I played my piece 'So Many Tears' and sang it. That moment I just feel like singing and playing for the rest of my life but I remembered the past, and I felt really sorry not for myself, but for Min who gave up the audition because she wanted us to sing together, debut together. And for my dad, who I blamed.

And I felt really sorry for myself, for not keeping the faith and for giving up my only dream. 

"But maybe someday you'll realize that Music is really your everything." dad told me. Tears continued to fell down on me while dad continued to comfort me.

So that's it guys! Did it answer your questions about how and why Suzy is hating Music? Well here it is: She started to hate music because of all the bullies. Because she believed Carla and the bullies. She believes that she just got accepted because her dad is a successful man and maybe the school just want her and her dad because of it. 

She hated Music because she thinks, because of Music she blame her father for what had happened to her. And she hates herself now for not having the chance to be a good, sweet and caring daughter to her father.. because of Music. 

But when she tried to play the piano again (on chapter 6) she realized things. She realized it wasn't really her dad or music's fault. But it is her fault. 

So there's Kai... her ultimate crush 2 years ago.