Sorry for this slight angst but its necessary for the plot ok

-

The moment Sunggyu slammed the door, he collapsed against it, sliding down to the ground, clutching his shirt. He was biting his lip to keep the tears from spilling out, but then he heard Woohyun’s desperate cries through the door, and it made him feel like the most horrible person in the whole world.

But he was still so upset. He didn’t think he could handle it if Woohyun continued being so reckless. He knew he definitely couldn’t handle it if something really happened to Woohyun. For once, he actually wanted to depend on someone and Woohyun was that person. It was the first time that he actually became disappointed in someone like this. It was the first time he actually had expectations of someone. It was the first time, he realized, he was being selfish.

Woohyun only went after the boss and Minwoo because of what they did to Sunggyu. He probably wasn’t even thinking about his own safety and that was what bothered Sunggyu. Though, he knew Woohyun didn’t have anything but good intentions. And that it wasn’t right to do this to him.

He got up and opened the door again. He hurriedly rushed up to the bottom of the stairs and untied the rope from Woohyun’s wrists. Woohyun sunk down to the floor, and looked up with swollen red eyes and cheeks, and he was hyperventilating.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” He managed to stutter out through his tears. “I’m so s-sorry. Please don’t leave me…I-I’m just a broken piece of …b-but I can’t live without you hyung. P-Please…”

Sunggyu immediately pulled Woohyun’s head to his chest. “No…” He breathed. “You’re not…you’re not broken.”

Woohyun clutched onto the folds of Sunggyu’s shirt and looked up to meet Sunggyu’s gaze.

“You’re not broken ok?” Sunggyu cupped his cheek, wiping a tear from the edge of his eye. “And neither am I….” He pursed his lips. “We’re both just…a little bent out of shape. But, we’re not broken.”

Woohyun rested his forehead on Sunggyu’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Sunggyu the back of his head, fingers entangling in Woohyun’s dark brown locks. “Me too.”

♦♦♦

“Yeah we brought him in for questioning.” Sungyeol stepped out of his office with Myungsoo down the hall of the SC office.

“That’s good.” Sunggyu answered quietly through the phone. “But just be careful. He’s unpredictable…”

“They got him chained up and everything.” Sungyeol assured him. “But…hyung you sound strange. Are you ok?”

There was a pause. “Strange?” Sunggyu laughed uneasily, and it sounded painfully forced as he glanced at Woohyun who was sitting beside him in the car. Woohyun didn’t dare meet his eyes and stared down at his lap with a hollow gaze. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Just take care of yourself and Myungsoo too. He’s going through a lot right now because of his father and everything.”

“Yeah…ok.” Sungyeol murmured. “And Woohyun hyung is ok?”

Sunggyu pursed his lips, swallowing. “He’s fine. I’ll talk to you later.” And at that he hung up and put his phone down before starting the car.

“…I’m sorry.” Woohyun whispered in a hoarse voice.

“Stop saying that.” Sunggyu told him, in a quiet almost resigned tone.

“I…” Woohyun gulped, hesitantly reaching out and gripping onto Sunggyu’s hand. “I just wanted to protect you hyung.”

“I know.” Sunggyu replied.

If there was anything left inside Woohyun to break it just did when Sunggyu silently pulled his hand away from Woohyun’s.

♦♦♦

Woohyun was scared of a lot of things. He was scared of his own emotions and the lack of control he had over them. He was scared of always being alone. He was scared of trusting others. He was scared that he would never be able to forgive himself for not protecting his parents or anyone else he could have saved.

But more than any of that…he was the most scared right now.

For the following week, things became even worse with Sunggyu. Usually whenever they fought, they would have made up by now. But this…this wasn’t a fight. He didn’t know what it was. And that scared him most of all. Every day watching Sunggyu slowly drift farther away from him was like being tied up and having a knife being slowly wedged deeper inside his gut, elongating the death process.

Woohyun used to think a lot about dying. He always told himself, that if he decided to kill himself it would be quick and painless. The opposite of life, which to him, always seemed to be too long and far too painful.

One evening, it just got to be too much for him. He was actually tempted to go back to his creepy mansion and just lay there in the broken glass and splintery floor boards. Maybe he was subconsciously looking for a way to punish himself. Either way he was already at the entrance way, slipping on his shoes.

“Where are you going?” He turned to see Sunggyu standing there with a serious look. Woohyun missed Sunggyu’s smile so much. He hadn’t seen it since that day he left him at the hospital. He feared it may have disappeared for good.

And it was all his fault.

“I’m just…going out for a little while—.” Suddenly Sunggyu grabbed his wrist, an intense look in his eyes.

“Don’t.”

Woohyun gulped and looked away. “It’s just for—.”

“Stay.” Woohyun looked up and met Sunggyu’s gaze. He felt so guilty seeing the desperation in Sunggyu’s eyes that he was trying so hard to hold back. Woohyun nodded silently and followed Sunggyu into the living room. Mrs. Kim was working the late shift so it was only the two of them in the silent house. Mi Seon had given them a few days off to recover, seeing the condition they were in.

Woohyun watched Sunggyu sit down on the couch and merely stood there wondering if he deserved to even sit next to Sunggyu. So instead he sat down on the floor.

“What’re you doing?” Sunggyu sighed, there was a hint of either a laugh or a cry in the back of his throat. Woohyun really couldn’t tell.

“I…” Woohyun folded his arms in front of him. “I’ve been thinking that I should move out—.”

“Why are you so stupid?” Sunggyu groaned, massaging his temples.

Woohyun looked down sadly. “I’m sorry, I—.”

“Tell me what I need to do.” Sunggyu interrupted. “Tell me what I need to do to you to make you understand?”

“…What?” Woohyun looked up, perplexed. “Understand—?”

“Yes, I’m mad at you. But that doesn’t mean we’re breaking up and I never want to see you again.” Sunggyu explained.

Woohyun blinked. “What…? I—.”

“I know that’s what you were thinking. Moping around the whole week, acting like an abandoned puppy or something…”

“But…” Woohyun murmured, looking up at Sunggyu worriedly. “You—.”

“I have a right to be mad at you don’t I?” Sunggyu sighed. “Even after I told you not to go after Minwoo and the gang you did. You totally disregarded what I said. I know you were doing it for my sake, but I already told you we would deal with it later together when we have more support. There was no reason for you to do such a stupid thing, do you understand what I’m saying? You could have been seriously hurt, or killed.”

Woohyun nodded. “I..I’m sorry—.”

“I don’t want you to apologize.”

“Then what do you want?” Woohyun frowned, helplessly.

“I…” Sunggyu paused to think it over for a moment. “I don’t know. A promise maybe?”

“A promise?”

“Yeah. That…that you’ll care more about yourself than anyone else.”

“How am I supposed to do that when you’re here?” Woohyun asked almost instantly.

“Yah,” Sunggyu frowned. “Stop thinking about me more than yourself—!”

“Can you do that?” Woohyun cut him off. “Can you put yourself first before everyone else? Before your mom and sister? Before the people you care about?”

Sunggyu stared at him for a moment before looking down, quietly sighing.

“No…no I can’t.” He murmured. “That’s why I’m asking you to.”

“I…can’t.”

Sunggyu looked up when Woohyun suddenly got up and made his way for the stairs. Sunggyu worriedly followed after him.

“Woohyun—.” He stopped at the entrance to his bedroom. Woohyun was grabbing his clothes from Sunggyu’s closet and shoving them in his duffel bag that he had brought with him.

“I…I can’t do this anymore.” Woohyun breathed, shoving things into the bag in a rapid mechanical movement.

“Woohyun, stop.” Sunggyu grabbed onto his arm, but Woohyun brushed him off. “What are you doing?”

“This isn’t working!” Woohyun exploded throwing some shirts to the ground in frustration. He was breathing hard, struggling to fight back tears.

“…What—?”

“You and I…this isn’t working!” Woohyun swallowed. “We can’t….I can’t be ok. I can’t be enough for you.”

“What’re you even talking about?” Sunggyu frowned. “Stop saying things like that!”

“We can’t do this anymore hyung.” Woohyun clenched his fists, eyes still downcast. “It’s just not working—.”

“Don’t say that.” Sunggyu clutched onto his arm, tugging on it almost desperately. “Whatever it is…we can work through it. W-We can fix it ok?”

“Fix…?” Woohyun murmured, slowly turning to face Sunggyu. “I thought you said…we weren’t broken?”

Sunggyu froze, mouth hanging open. “I…”

“I thought…you said I wasn’t broken hyung.” Woohyun smiled bitterly, eyes glassy, as he swallowed down a lump in his throat. Then he suddenly forced himself to laugh, though it came out as a strained, dry chuckle. “No, I already knew that. That’s the problem…that’s been the problem this whole time.” He turned to Sunggyu and smiled sadly. “Don’t try to fix me anymore, ok hyung?”

Sunggyu’s eyebrows creased and in his eyes there was worry and regret.

“Woohyun, that’s not…I didn’t mean it—.” Suddenly Woohyun placed a light hand on his shoulder and leaned in, his lips brushing Sunggyu’s ear.

“You don’t have to try anymore hyung.” He spoke softly, in an almost resigned tone. “You don’t have to try anymore for me.” And then he pressed his lips to Sunggyu’s cheek. Before Sunggyu could even react Woohyun picked up his bag and left.

♦♦♦

Sunggyu stood there for two seconds, taking in what was happening right now.

Woohyun was leaving. Woohyun was leaving him.

He might never come back. No, he was sure Woohyun would never come back.

“No!” Sunggyu rushed down the hall and towards the front door. He pulled it open with haste, thankful Woohyun had only made it that far.

“What about you?!” He yelled out. Woohyun paused in his steps, slowly turning as Sunggyu charged towards him. “W-What about you?” Sunggyu repeated. “Don’t you think I’m like that?”

Woohyun merely stared at him, tiredly. “…What?”

“I’m broken too.” Sunggyu averted his gaze. “You know that already, don’t you? Don’t you think that about me too?”

“I think you’re amazing.”

Sunggyu looked up, meeting Woohyun’s earnest gaze.

“Yah…” Sunggyu frowned. “You know I’m not. You already know I’m a loser—.”

“I think hyung is the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” Woohyun stated, and even though his red eyes were still swollen, and his face a mess from crying, he seemed so confident in what he just said. He believed it with his whole heart, and that just made Sunggyu’s heart ache even more.

“You…” Sunggyu breathed, staring into Woohyun’s eyes helplessly. “How can you think that about me when…when you hate yourself so much?”

“That’s because…” Woohyun choked, clutching firmer onto the strap of his duffle bag. “Because you really are amazing, and I’m not.”

“Yes you are.” Sunggyu placed a hand on either of Woohyun’s shoulders. But Woohyun merely turned his head away, looking down. “What’s it going to take for you to believe me?” Sunggyu cupped his cheek, so Woohyun would look him in the eyes. “Don’t…don’t you know how much I love you?”

Woohyun met his gaze with a worried expression. “No, you shouldn’t. You should just find someone better—.”

“I can’t.” Sunggyu sighed. “It’s too late. And guess what? I don’t want to find someone else. Besides where would I find someone better than you anyways?”

Woohyun smiled slightly. “It’s weird that you’re being greasy.”

“How was that greasy?” Sunggyu pouted, but then smiled at seeing Woohyun’s mood go up—even if it was just a little. He absently traced the faint scare on Woohyun’s chin with his thumb. “Let’s go inside ok?” He tugged on Woohyun’s hand and turned back to the house.

Woohyun hesitated for a moment, glancing down the street.

Sunggyu sighed and pulled Woohyun closer, and kissed him softly on the cheek. “Let’s go, ok?”

Woohyun nodded dumbly, and then smiled and followed Sunggyu.

♦♦♦

Sunggyu noticed that even though they had at least made up, Woohyun was still acting different. When Sunggyu sat down on the couch, Woohyun would stare for a moment, before hesitantly taking a seat on the other side of the couch.

Before Woohyun would have immediately plopped down right next to Sunggyu and want to cuddle and Sunggyu would pretend to get annoyed, but still let him.

But now, he kept to himself, almost as if he was afraid that he wasn’t allowed to touch Sunggyu or something. Or maybe that he didn’t deserve to.

That made Sunggyu unhappy. Even though he never said it out loud, he enjoyed Woohyun’s clinginess and puppy like behavior.

He noticed Woohyun absently rubbing a faint scar on his wrist. And it gave him an idea. He rested his hand open face beside Woohyun’s thigh. Woohyun glanced at Sunggyu’s open hand before looking up at Sunggyu, who was still focusing on the television. Woohyun got the hint and smiled slightly, before holding onto Sunggyu’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

But Sunggyu still didn’t feel like it was enough. He had this fear that if they kept on like this they would just get farther apart. And he didn’t want that. Not in the least.

He scooted closer to Woohyun, raising his and Woohyun’s hand that were still clasped together.

Woohyun turned to him. “Hyung…?”

Sunggyu turned Woohyun’s hand around and gently pressed his lips to the scar on Woohyun’s wrist.

“What…?” Woohyun gazed at him breathlessly. “What’re you—?”

“It’s beautiful…” Sunggyu met his gaze earnestly, his lips tickling the back of Woohyun’s hand as he spoke.

Woohyun slowly pulled his hand away and averted his eyes.

“...What’re you saying?” He murmured.

“You’re always trying to hide them.” Sunggyu cupped his cheek, thumb lightly the small scar on his chin. “Your scars…”

But Woohyun gripped onto the elder’s wrist, gently pulling his hand away. “They’re scary…people will hate them.” He mumbled.

Sunggyu leaned closer, and Woohyun instinctively backed away. He didn’t know what Sunggyu was trying to do but his heart beat sped up when Sunggyu met his gaze, “I don’t hate them.”

Woohyun swallowed down the lump in his throat that always seemed to appear whenever he thought about his scars.

“Woohyun-ah…” Sunggyu pressed closer so that they were chest-to-chest, and Woohyun’s back leaned against the couch’s armrest. “I love you, ok?” He murmured softly, as his finger tips grazed Woohyun’s cheek, and he kissed him tenderly.

Woohyun almost wanted to cry because of the how gentle Sunggyu was treating him. His heart ached, and his skin was tingling but at the same time it made him feel warm and safe and comfortable. Only Sunggyu could ever make him feel every good emotion at once like this.

“Gyu…hyung….” Woohyun breathed, as soon as their lips parted. “I…”

“It’s…is it ok like this?” Sunggyu asked in an almost whisper as his finger tips grazed the buttons of Woohyun’s shirt. When Woohyun nodded hesitantly, Sunggyu slowly ed his shirt.

Woohyun gasped softly, when he felt Sunggyu’s lips pressed to the scar across his abdomen.

“Hyung.” Woohyun’s cheeks flushed. “You…you don’t have to—.”

Sunggyu raised his head to smile at Woohyun. “Even like this,” He cupped Woohyun’s cheeks and captured his lips once more, this time with a little more aggression. Woohyun immediately melted in to Sunggyu’s mouth, as the older slipped one arm under Woohyun’s back, the other still holding his cheek. “No, especially like this,” Sunggyu continued, his thumb Woohyun’s plump lower lip. “You’re so lovely.”

Woohyun eyes widened, as a tear streamed down his cheek.

It was just that one word.

Lovely

Sunggyu didn’t say, perfect, or flawless, or anything else that Woohyun could easily deny because of it being impossible. No, instead he said a word, that…even though it implied that he wasn’t perfect, to Woohyun, it felt like the most wonderful word in the world.

It was better than perfection. This was better than perfection, and being with Sunggyu felt better than wanting to be perfect.