Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Seunghyun rambled as he walked inside their house following Chaerin. He had the urged to run outside once the familiar living area reached his sight. This is a bad idea Choi Seunghyun, bad!

He knew it was so wrong to hope that everything will turn out alright. He desperately tried to shut down that flicker of hope when his wife invited him inside the house. He was supposed to talk her about divorce (and he had decided on this twice already), not have dinner with her. He was supposed to tell her that their relationship was suicidal, and dangerous, and hopeless – not imagine a night of peaceful conversation over coffee afterwards. He was supposed to tell her that he is not fit for this, and he’s a jerk who did not deserve a family such as theirs – but here he is following her inside like nothing happened.

Seeing her again, struggling to get home, carrying their sleeping Haneul who had grown bigger – and that determined look on her face, he had lost it. His mind reeled at the fact that despite his wrongdoings, her she was, taking care of his child, their child. What decent woman would take care of a child that came from a ed up man? His mother didn’t, but here, Chaerin is. And he felt doubts scratching his conscience.

She looked breathtaking, even with when her face went from struggling to stoic. His nerves tingled and jumped with uncertainty. His purposeful visit became a blur of doubtful thoughts.

When she stood beside him, divorce was decidedly forgotten, overwhelmed just by her prescence and his hand itched to hold them together, to hold Haneul and feel how she’s growing into a beautiful girl. He longed to hear him say daddy and annoy him with childish wonder.

When he forcefully hugged her, he felt better after all those empty daylights in his head. A vitamin for the senses, a relief for his troubled soul. She was still the Chaerin that he knew when he woke up in this strange world, feminine and subtle. Feeling her hair against his face was so much better than the pillows on Yongbae’s couch. He couldn’t resist it, so he stole a light kiss, hoping she wouldn’t go away. And she didn’t! He felt a bit confident when she slightly melted under him.

But when Chaerin refused to look, he knew it was the end of it all. It was a good thing she didn’t turn in time to see tears smudging his face, a far look from the dashing debonair everyone knew.

He felt he was about to faint but she called him out for dinner and he suddenly felt he could breathe. That damn flicker of hope just wouldn’t die. It felt so wrong to agree to her invitation, but he decided dinner won’t hurt.  And perhaps coffee? The overwhelming desire to see her talk, and even spare a glance to him is a sweet goodbye.

He now sat in their living area, a stranger to his own house, a foreign being of their lives.

“Nana said she had dinner ready. Kitchen?” she gestures to the other side of the house.

“Sure.” He stood and made a beeline to the kitchen.

“DADDY!!!!!” Haneul’s greeting was music to his ears that he couldn’t stop but smile at the sight of his little girl running towards him.

“Haneul-ah!” he inhaled her baby scent in delight. It was like holding her again as a new born, delicate and loving, but he was all doing it by instinct.

“You’re back! Did you bring me cookies?” Her daughter watched him with big and hopeful eyes searching for some quick response. Seunghyun looked helplessly to Cha