Leeteuk was curled up on the sofa in the kitchen with a book he had borrowed from the library when Kangin came home. It was 10pm, so he had had about an hour to think about his conversation with the oldest twin since it happened. He looked up from the book when he heard the front door open. He could hear Kangin taking off his shoes and jacket, and soon after, the older male entered the kitchen. He smiled tiredly at the sight of Leeteuk curled up on the sofa.

“Hey. Did everything go okay?” he asked softly while massaging his left shoulder with his right hand. It had been a long evening mostly consisting of paperwork, causing his back to act out now. Leeteuk nodded and sent him a small smile but there was doubt in his eyes and Kangin got the feeling something was wrong.

“Did anything happen?” he inquired anxiously, suddenly having all kinds of thoughts about what could have gone wrong. Leeteuk slowly put his book to the side and sat up straight, contemplating how to go about this.

“When I tucked the twins in, Hyukjae asked for his umma,” he started slowly. He could see all kinds of emotions flash in Kangin’s eyes. “He began crying and Donghae started too. I wasn’t sure what to say since I don’t know your ex-wife. He asked whether she would ever come back,” he revealed as he folded his hands in his lap. He felt really bad for bringing this up seeing as Kangin already looked rather stressed out without this piece of information.

“What did you say?” Kangin asked as he put his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose, trying to fight the emotions that rushed over him. He tried so hard to be what his kids needed and he felt like he came short every time. He knew that he couldn’t be their mother as well and it hurt him. He cursed their umma to hell and back again for putting their sons through this.

“I told them that I didn’t know, but that I was sure she loved them. And I told them that she was missing out on a lot because they are absolutely wonderful which seemed to be good enough for Donghae,” Leeteuk answered truthfully, standing up and moving towards the coffee machine. “You want coffee?” he asked and Kangin nodded. His eyes were still closed. “Hyukjae asked if I could be their umma,” Leeteuk then added in a soft voice. Kangin’s head snapped up and he studied Leeteuk with wide eyes filled with emotions Leeteuk couldn’t place.

“What did you... I mean, what did you tell him?” Kangin asked slowly, not sure what to feel about the situation. It was clear to him that Hyukjae had taken the blow very differently than his twin brother but he would never have expected the fragile boy to ask his nanny such a question.

“I told him that I was a man. And then I promised him to do my best to give both him and his brothers the love and attention their umma should be giving them,” he replied softly as he handed a mug of steaming coffee to the older man.

Kangin looked at Leeteuk for a while before looking down at his coffee. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I keep getting surprised at how well you communicate with all of them,” he continued, lifting the mug to his lips and slowly taking a sip.

“Hyukjae called me ‘Teukie-umma’ when I left their room, though,” Leeteuk added neutrally. Kangin froze up for a second before his shoulders slumped and he put his mug down.

“I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” the older murmured. He felt his heart breaking at his son’s desperate attempt to replace his missing mother.

“Honestly, I don’t mind, if you don’t mind either,” Leeteuk admitted softly. He could see the pain that ran through the older man’s eyes and he guessed what caused it. “Can we sit down?” he then asked and motioned for the sofa. Kangin nodded numbly and followed Leeteuk to the sofa where they sat down side by side. Leeteuk folded one of his legs under the other so he could sit sideways and face his employer.

“It is a completely normal reaction to their situation,” he began to explain, trying to help the bulkier man with his internal fights. “He misses his umma. He already has an appa and therefore the umma title goes to whoever is the closest to him after you since he is used to having one,” he continued.

Kangin sat in silence for a while. “He never asked any of the other nannies if they could be his umma,” Kangin then said, his voice choked as his emotions finally became too much to hold in, solidifying in the stray tear sliding down his cheek.

Leeteuk took his hand in his and held it tightly. “Kangin, you are doing such a great job with the boys,” he said in a soft but stern voice. “Don’t blame yourself. You have done everything you possibly could to manage them on your own and I am so proud of you for handling everything so well.”

Kangin looked up at Leeteuk with wide, tear-filled eyes, searching for the confirmation and comfort of another adult that he had needed for so long now.

“Look at your boys. None of them have issues that cannot be treated with love and care. They just need their appa to stay strong for them. And if they need a mother figure I will gladly take up that role for them. I already love them very much,” he admitted, a light blush spreading on his cheeks.

Kangin seemed to choke on a chuckle as he held Leeteuk’s hands tightly as if they were the only thing rooting h