When Siwon and Leeteuk entered the playroom the twins and Ryeowook was still happily playing with the zoo. Leeteuk sat down on the sofa and motioned for Siwon to sit beside him. The boy climbed up to sit on his right side and handed the book over.

“So, where were you?” Leeteuk asked gently and Siwon pointed out where he was on the page. Leeteuk picked up from there and started to read aloud, and soon Siwon’s head was resting on Leeteuk’s arm as he listened to the new nanny read one of his favourite books.

Siwon found that he enjoyed it a lot. He was a big boy and he could read by himself just fine, but since their umma had left them, it had been a general tendency that he was last in line when it came to attention from the grownups because he was the oldest. At first it had made him sad and angry, but when he began seeing the changes in his brothers he realised that they needed the extra care and so he decided to keep himself entertained with his books so his brothers would be taken better care of. Deep down he was desperate to get attention as well, but he simply buried that need. But this man, their new nanny, had paid attention to him, as well as his brothers, from the beginning. Even when he had tried to keep in the background so his brothers could get the attention they craved, Leeteuk had pulled him to the front with the rest of the kids and made sure that he didn’t feel overlooked. Siwon felt the tiniest spark of hope blossom in his heart; maybe he would get more attention now. However, that hope was quickly destroyed when Ryeowook suddenly let out a loud wail and Leeteuk closed the book to go check on him.

“What’s the matter, Wookie?” Leeteuk asked as he scooped up the toddler and held him close.

“They meanies!” he cried and pointed at Donghae and Eunhyuk, who was trying to build a cage for the giraffe. Ryeowook did not want a cage for his precious giraffe, but the twins insisted that the giraffe had to have a cage like all the other animals if it stayed in the zoo. While Leeteuk tried to calm Ryeowook down again, he caught a glimpse of Siwon’s expression. The boy looked sad, angry, disappointed, which quickly melted into the same withdrawn expression he had had the first time Leeteuk met him.

Siwon felt tears sting in his eyes as he saw the scene in front of him. He knew that he could not claim all the attention for himself but this was the first time in months that he had gotten undivided attention from someone who was not Ryeowook, and his brothers just had to go and ruin it for him. He slowly let himself slip down from the sofa, the book clutched to his chest like it would bring him some semblance of comfort, and motioned to exit the room unnoticed.

“Siwon!” Leeteuk called after him, and the boy stopped without turning around. Leeteuk had a still sniffling Ryeowook on his hip as he went over to Siwon, bent down slightly and took the young boys hand. “Come with me,” he said and led the boy to the kitchen.

“Hey guys,” Kangin said with a smile when he looked up from his computer. His smile faltered when he noticed Siwon’s withdrawn expression and Ryeowook sniffling on Leeteuk’s arm.

“Kangin, I am sorry, but I need you to look after Ryeowook for just a moment while I talk to Siwon,” Leeteuk said to the man. He felt bad for interrupting his work but he hoped he would understand once he told him what had happened. Kangin nodded seriously and took Ryeowook from Leeteuk’s arms.

“What is the matter, little bunny?” he asked gently and Ryeowook began explaining, through sniffles, about the zoo, the giraffe, and the cage.

Leeteuk pulled Siwon gently with him into the living room, closing the door so it was only slightly ajar. Then he crouched down to be eye level with the eight-year-old.

“I am sorry,” he said, causing Siwon to look up in disbelief. Grownups did not usually apologise to eight-year-olds. “I know you got disappointed when I had to take care of Wookie. In that situation I just had to go to him and make sure he was okay,” Leeteuk explained, making Siwon’s heart feel heavy again.

He felt tears well up in his eyes, expecting the whole ‘You are the oldest, you have to take care of yourself’-speech he was so used to.

“It seems like I just can’t read to you when I have to look after the others as well,” Leeteuk said as he looked at the small boy.

“I understand,” Siwon said, a tear escaping his eye. He had really thought that things would change. Leeteuk pulled him into a hug, but Siwon didn’t respond to it.

“If you want me to, I would like to read to you at night, before you go to bed,” Leeteuk then said with a soft voice, causing Siwon to whip his head away from the nanny’s body. “By then I won’t have to look after the others and I can read to you without being disturbed,” he said as he smiled warmly at the disbelieving look on Siwon’s face. It was heartbreaking, really.

“Do you mean that?” Siwon asked, running his hand over his cheek to remove the tear. He couldn’t believe that an adult wanted to give him undivided attention every single day just like his brothers had gotten for so long now.

“Yes, I mean that,” Leeteuk said with a reassuring smile. “I don’t know how long we can read, it is up to your appa but-“ He was cut off by a small body throwing itself at his torso, almost causing him to lose balance and topple backwards. Siwon clung to him tightly and Leeteuk reciprocated the hug with a sad smile. “I know that you have had to be the oldest and take care of yourself for a long time,” he began quietly. “I know you have felt left out and alone and like no one loved you.”

By now Siwon was crying into his neck. He had no idea how Leeteuk knew what he had felt for so long, but it felt so nice that someone finally knew.

“But I promise you that I will give you all the attention you nee