beta by -dolce-

--

Siwon wrapped Heechul in his coat to protect her from the chilly night wind and carried her carefully to not wake her up. He walked across the main lobby and sighed in relief when he found it empty. He brought her up to his apartment up to the room she was occupying and set her down carefully and covered her with the blanket. For few minutes, he just sat down beside her to watch her sleep. He caressed her hair and he had a sudden urge to kiss her but luckily, he was able to control himself. “What did you do to me, Heechul? I’m scared.” He caressed her hair again before walking out of her room.

His mind wandered somewhere else after he laid his tired body on his own bed. He was scared, he was confused. “Another day will come and maybe tomorrow we’ll say our goodbyes.” Siwon murmured and tried to catch some sleep. But it seems that his body didn’t want to sleep although he had tricked it with turning off the lamp and closing his eyes. Before he knew it, the sun already rose to the east, painting the sky in reddish-orange color. He refused to open the curtain, pretending that night still enveloped the whole world.

The wall clock ticked constantly and the sound annoyed him to no end. It’s not him to be acting this way. The clock never annoyed him. It keeps him on his toes. But not today. He stood up abruptly to snatch it from the wall and removed its batteries.

The clock's short hand pointed to six and the other to three. He’s supposed to get up fifteen minutes ago. He should have taken a shower and at 6:15am, he should be in the kitchen preparing a cup of coffee for himself. But right now he’s still in bed, talking to himself like a crazy man.  “What’s wrong with me? Why does she have this effect on me? It isn’t love, right? Our deal should only involve logic and not the heart but what happened to me?” He recalled his conversation with Kyuhyun when he questioned his intention to comfort Heechul. “I just pity her. Yeah, I just pity her.” He kept repeating the words over and over, trying to convince himself that it was the only reason.

He got up and headed to the bathroom. He knew Heechul was inside because he heard the sound of the shower. A month. It only took him a month to get accustomed to sharing the apartment with someone. Heechul of all people—his mortal enemy. He’s not supposed to let himself be comfortable around Heechul but he can’t help it. And now he’s afraid that everything’s going to end so soon.

His mind was in turmoil as he stood in front of bathroom door.

“Siwon, what are you doing here? Do you want to use the bathroom?” Heechul asked when she came out of the bathroom and found Siwon standing poker-faced outside the door. He blinked and stared at Heechul. He saw the water dripping from Heechul’s wet hair down to her white fluffy bathrobe. Her scent was so fresh and intoxicating. It’s a combination of cinnamon and orange blossom. Heechul was eyeing him in silence. Her curious eyes reminded Siwon those of a cat. He unconsciously lifted his hand and caressed her wet hair. Heechul flinched slightly but she remained still. “Can we remain friends for another day, please?” He whispered. He could tell Heechul was confused with his behavior but he didn't give a damn right now.

“Sure.” she replied and gasped in surprise when Siwon hugged her.

“Thank you.” He murmured in a low voice and buried his head on Heechul’s hair, inhaling its scent. Very intoxicating indeed. Tears started rolling softly from his eyes, falling to Heechul’s wet hair. He closed his eyes tightly, calming himself. The Choi Siwon was crying for a reason which he himself didn’t understand. He was confused. He kept reminding himself that what he felt for Heechul was no more that pity. But the small voice in was immediately silenced her hand soothing his back. His mind went blank in an instant. Whatever sanity he had left was immediately thrown out of the window.

“What’s wrong? Is something troubling you?” Heechul asked slightly confused because last night Siwon seemed to be fine. In fact, he was the person who comforted her last night. What’s going on with him right now?

“Nothing. I just need comfort from my friend.” He murmured. Heechul didn’t say anything again after that and kept caressing his back. They stood still in their embrace, enjoying the comfortable feeling when a loud whistling sound interrupted their moment. “Uh, I think the hot water is ready. I’ll make some tea for us.” Heechul reluctantly released her embrace. And Siwon used all of his willpower to not pull Heechul back in his arms again. To hell with hot water. It could just evaporate for all he cared. He didn’t know if he’ll have a chance again to have this precious moment with Heechul. But his logic won again. “Okay. I’ll take a bath now.” He entered the bathroom.

Heechul walked briskly to the kitchen and turned the stove off. Her mind was busy analyzing Siwon’s actions and any problem that could possibly bug him. Strangely, it was troubling her too and she couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason. “I am not supposed to let my emotions take over my logic. It’s wrong. Don’t involve your heart here, Heechul.” She reminds herself before it’s too late. She filled two cups with the tea that she made and fixed breakfast for both of them. “I can’t let someone hurt me again. I’m not ready to love someone again.” She murmured as she concentrated on making the pancakes. When she’s done, she proceeded to getting dressed. She was almost ready when Siwon called her. “I’m coming.”  

Siwon had trying to calm his heart and mind when he was taking a bath. He’s confident enough to act like his old self again. He should be mindful of his actions from now on. He can’t let these emotions ruin their deal. He decided to pretend he’s happy in front of Heechul. “Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.” He realized he was gripping cup a little bit too tight.

“It’s okay. Do you mind telling me your problem?” She asked casually. It won’t matter if she knows but she was curious.

“Uh, nothing. I’m just a bit tired because I didn’t get enough sleep. Let’s just talk about other things.”

Heechul wasn’t satisfied with his answer. She sensed that Siwon was hiding something from her but she didn’t push it. She didn’t have the right to demand for an answer. She’s neither his real girlfriend nor his real friend. “Okay. But if you want someone to talk to, I’m still here.” She set the plates of pancakes in front of them. Siwon looked puzzled since it was the first time she made food.

“Friends sometimes make food for each other.” She smiled. “Chocolate, coffee, honey or strawberry?” She asked, holding the syrup dispensers.

“Uh, chocolate please.” She even poured the syrup over his pancakes and he just stared at her an unreadable expression on his face. With her standing this close, he can smell her scent and his thought went wayward again. “It feels so nice to have someone make and serve you breakfast other than the maids. It’s so comfortable. It’s like seeing mom fixing dad breakfast and wishing that someday I’ll find someone that can make me happy, too.” He realized how much he missed his parents. The way his mom doted on him and his father. The way she smiles whenever his dad compliments her coffee.

As a kid, he barely had time to enjoy the family meal time. His parents were too busy to spare some time for him; thus, he spent almost all his life with his grandma. She always ate with him but still, something was missing. Although she had been great, the last few years he spent with his parents before they passed away were the best years of his life. When his mother retired from her job and chose to stay at home and his father slowed down and chose to spend more time with his family, Siwon finally experienced how it was to have a family. But all of this shattered when one fateful day, he received the phone call that will change his life forever. His parents got into an accident that killed both of them instantly.

 “Siwon? Yah, Siwon!” Heechul snapped her fingers in front of him and brought him back from his reverie. He blinked. “Will you stop looking at me? Here's your pancake.” She laughed a little until she realized something. “You’re crying.” She brushed a thumb across Siwon’s cheek. She was stumped. It’s not everyday that you see Siwon acting like this. “Just tell me what your problem is. I’m serious.”

“Nothing…I…I’m just too emotional today.” He carefully pushed her hands away and averted his gaze to his plate.

“Enough with your excuses! Just tell me.” She demanded.

“I…I missed my parents.” Siwon felt his body moving slightly as Heechul hugged him. “And I’m scared to lose you.”  Siwon added mentally and hugged her back. He felt his heart beating harder and harder than normal. And he couldn’t bring himself to ignore it anymore.

“I understand but please don’t be like this. I hate to see the emo side of you. I better see the strict and arrogant side of yours than the emo one.” She murmured softly and once again ignoring the excessive thumping of her heart. They stayed like that for a while. “Are you okay now?”

“One more minute.” Comfortable silence ensued.

Until. . .

.

.

.

.

“Siwon-hyung did you—ooops, am I interrupting something?”

-TBC-

Anyone can guess who the intruder is? And sorry if you think Siwon was too emotional in here. He was scared and confused and I just too carried with my own emotion. Mianhae.