(Chapter song: Carmen - Living the Moment) 

  We walked in line, everyone wearing the dark color, puffed red eyes looking down and around. I looked up to the sky and I wanted it to look dark, foggy but no it was brightly shining, and virescent colour of the churchyard was cheerful as if welcoming her there; a way to show us that she is in a better place. The air was silent as we stood around her grave but the birds were singing. 

   Taeyeon stood infront of the casket, “remember when we used to be happy every time the sun shine? Every single day? Well The sun shone today but it doesn’t feel important anymore” her voice struggle and couldn’t hold the grief in her; steadily and silently her tears fell, she put her hand on the casket “Take care” she only said that then took a step for them to lower the casket down. I felt the pain in her voice, I felt the emptiness. People walked to put roses on it as it was slowly lowering down. When it disappeared it was the moment when I knew that I will never see her face again, or feel her hugs. I will not see the warmth that was in her eyes. I felt Yuri pulling me into a deep hug, I didn’t want to acknowledge that this is the finality of death and that we will have to continue living without. 

   After the grave was closed with dirt and showered with water, Taeyeon held herself and walked to the church, not talking to anybody or answering anyone there. I saw a part of her going down in that grave. 

  Kurt held my hand when I was about to follow her, 

  I pulled my hand softly, I have to be with her, I told myself that and walked after her. 

   I opened the church door slowly and she was standing infront of the cross looking up at it. 

   “I'm going to thank you even if I'm still hurt and not able to understand why. I know Sometimes I hate you but I never wished anything from you, so now I just want to wish one thing. I wish that in heaven you give her a second chance...because she is very young...she’s little yet went through a lot, so I beg you give her a second chance in heaven and I would never ever ask anything else from you” she begged, and I stood there looking at her till she turned and saw me. And the second her eyes met mine, her tears flew down. And I ran to hug her, she held to me so tight. 

And I made her sit down while she laid her head on my shoulders and my arms around her. 

   After couples of minutes or maybe hours the church door opened, I looked at Taeyeon but her eyes where closed. I think she fell asleep. I stayed still and felt the presence of someone, I heard there foot steps. But I couldn’t turn my head to see, I just saw a tall woman standing infront of the cross then kneeled down to pray. She didn’t notice us but she was wearing black from head to toe she had a long black hair that fell on her back like an angel. 

  I stayed quiet not to disturb her, but then I heard her crying, 

  “I’m sorry” she said, “I just want to say that I’m sorry...I want you to make her listen to me...tell her that I’m sorry” 

I saw her collapsing from the inside, I wanted to comfort her but Taeyeon is sleeping.

  “I never meant for all that to happened, I tried...I tried but I couldn’t...I wished and I wished for just one chance to fix it but I couldn’t...I...couldn’t find any” she lowered her head, I know this voice but the pain in her tone is unrecognizable. 

   “Her pain is still a scar in my heart, Her soul is still in me. I...just want her forgiveness...” she cried “lord I beg you let her know that I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. I wish death upon me” she put her hands above her head “If I knew she was still alive I would’ve, crawled to her and asked for forgiveness, I miss her...and I loved her...I love her so...so much, lord you know much I love her, I beg you let her know” she took a pause then said “I’m sorry” before standing up 

  “What can sorry do now?” Taeyeon said suddenly between the silence of the church and the sobbing of the lady. 

   I looked at her, she stood up and the lady in pain turned to look at her. My heart sank when I saw Eve face. 

 “Why...” She stood there with tears in her eyes, “Why you didn’t tell me” she took a step to Taeyeon “WHY YOU DIDN’T TELL ME SHE WAS ALIVE” 

  “You don’t deserve to know” Taeyeon said, and I felt the pain on Eve’s face; she was hurt 

   “I prayed and I prayed...” she walked to her “I WISHED AND I WISHED” she stood inches away from Taeyeon “To have just one chance to apologize, to hold her and tell her how much I love her. To talk to her and take care of her. I was going through hell because of what I did...” she said crying but Taeyeon held her from the collar of her shirt, 

  I stood up in fear...why she’s doing that? 

  “YOU WEAR GOING THROUGH HELL??? WHAT ABOUT HER? WHAT ABOUT THE HELL SHE WENT THROUGH BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID?? HUH?” Taeyeon shouted in her face and my body froze in panic, her voice was very loud and the echo took over the whole place. 

   She pushed Eve away and pointed here finger on her “You killed her” she said and Eve broke down to the ground, 

   “YOU KILLED HER” Taeyeon shouted “So don’t stand here asking for forgiveness,” 

   She wiped her tears “YOU...YOU KNOW DEEP INSIDE...” she held her breath before saying “That your mother is the reason” she said 

   Taeyeon put her hands on the both sides of her head anger is eating her, then she shouted “YOU KNEW SHE HAD CANCER...YOU KNEW THAT” she pointed at her again “Yet what did you do?!” She asked her 

   “I know what I did was wrong but I...” she tried to explain but Taeyeon cut her 

   “YOU TOOK HER TO PARTIES WITH YOU WHILE SHE WAS A KID” she shocked on her words “she was