Ava and you got back to class when the bell rang. Classes was more boring than usual which was not helping at all. Surprising, Jr was not asleep in class like usual. You were spacing out in class for the whole time when your eyes wandered to Ren as usual. But within a second, you were knock back in to your senses on the head by Jr. You turned to look at him, not knowing why he just did that. He leans closer to you whispering in your ear “From now on, if I catch you looking at him again. I will knock some sense into you like I just did.” He continues “But if you feel like class is getting boring, you can always look at me instead.” Giving you a wink. You held in your laugher due to his last sentence and rolled your eyes at him. Looking back at the front of the class.

It was break time, as usual Ava dragged you to where Nu’est was sitting at. You took a sit at an empty spot beside Jr instead today. While Ava went to Min Hyun side as usual. You could feel that Ren was staring at you, hence you looked to his direction and give him a weak smile. In returned, he smiled back at you. Both of you were staring at each other until Jr broke it. He knocks your head with his fist like just now and say “Eat, before your food gets cold.” You nodded and started to eat but you could still feel Ren staring at you frequently when you are eating. Break was alright, it was the same as usual, just that Ren and JR were quiet. They didn’t spoke at all, and you felt like it was your fault. You feel like, you have just destroyed their friendship. And you feel that, you are not something that they should fight over for, since you felt that you are not someone worth fighting for.

Two months has passed, and your feelings for Ren was slowly fading away. With the help and support of Jr and Ava. They were always there for you, and not letting you have time to even think about your heart break. Jr would always bring you to the movies if not comic book café after school if you have no work. Days that you have work, he could visit you after work. Taking a walk in the park before sending you home. While Ava would sleep over some time at your apartment so you would not feel lonely. Everything was the same, and just like Jr said, every time your eyes wandered to Ren, you would get hit on the head by Jr. You had no idea how he always hits you on the head first, even before your eyes shift to Ren. As if he knew you were going to look even before you knew it yourself. And because of that, you found yourself looking at Jr more instead as the day passed by. You knew your feelings for him was growing. You knew that because as each day passed by, your heart rate is beating faster and faster when he was close to you. And sometimes you would even flinch due to his touch in surprise. He knew it too, he was finding it weird thinking you were trying to avoid him. He was sadder as each day passed by.

Break time was as usual, Ren and Jr was quiet. But today, you really couldn’t stand it anymore. You hated the fact that they were still not talking to each other and ignoring each other as if the other was invisible. Also, you knew Ren was trying to hold in his feelings for Soo Yeon, you could tell that he did it because he was guilty of what he did to you. He was always ignoring her more than usual as each day passed by and his face was getting gloomier as well. There was still around 15 minutes till break was over. And you were sitting with the guys. You couldn’t stand it anymore, so you texted Ren. “We need to talk. Rooftop now.” After that you stand up telling them you have to go to the washroom. While in fact, you were heading to the rooftop.

You wait at the rooftop for Ren and after a while he came. You start by saying “Stop feeling guilty because we broke up. You really don’t have to, I’m fine now. I really want you to be happy. Just go to her, you have my support you know.” Smiling at him. He was shocked to hear that but he replied “No, I don’t deserve to be loved any more. Especially after what I did to you.” You step closer to him bringing one of your hand to caressing his hair saying “Silly, everyone deserved to be loved. And not everyone has a control of their hearts. If you really feel bad about it, you should peruse your love instead. Because I want you to be happy, I want the Ren that I fell for last time to be back.” He looked shocked at what you said. But soon, he reaches out to your hands that was caressing his hair still and grab your wrist lightly. Looking up to you smiling, saying “Thank you. Thank you for loving me.” Taking your hand down from back of his head, giving a light kiss on the back of your hand. You smiled at him, stepping closer to him giving him a hug, saying “No, thank you for letting me.” He brought you closer to him by tighten his arms around you in the hug. Telling you he was very grateful of you.

What you didn’t know was that, Jr had followed Ren up as well. And has been standing there watching both of you. But he couldn’t hear what both of you was talking about, he could just guess. He saw Ren kissed the back of your hand and you hugged him. Both of you look so happy to be together. And all he could think of was (I lost her again….). He decided it was enough seeing both of you together, and got back to class. His heart was breaking, he was fighting his tears back. He got to his seat and rested his head down on his arm which was resting on the table, to prevent anyone from seeing tears that would have escape. Thinking (Why can’t you see me…. Why can’t it be me?)