It was already the month of October. The fall air was breezy and the leaves were still falling off the trees. The crunch you would hear when you stepped onto the leaves. The way the leaves sounded when a gush of wind passed by, dragging them onto the concrete floor of the neighborhood. The smell of wood and burnt leaves as they turned into the color of fire.

This month I would be celebrating life and death. Life would mean that my birthday was coming up in a few weeks and death because it had been a month since Mr. Kwon's passing. I planned on visiting his grave later in the afternoon and maybe try to convince Jiyong to come with me. I knew I would have a slim chance but it was worth a try.

I came into the office that morning as I brought with me fresh flowers for Mr. Kwon. I put them in a vase with cold water to keep them fresh until the afternoon. I worked hastily on all the things that should be done for the day. In the afternoon, I gathered up all the courage to ask permission from Jiyong. After that night he took me home, he had been more approachable but I still felt intimidated by him. I was now standing in front of his thick wooden door as I exhaled loudly before I knocked three times.

I heard him say, "Come in."

I entered his office and called out his attention, "Mr. Kwon?"
 

He was concentrating on some papers on his desk while he typed something important on his laptop. He looked up to me and noticed that I was already carrying my coat and purse with his father flowers on my other hand.

"What's with the flowers? Do you have a date?" He asked a little curiously.

I chuckled at his assumption that made him raise an eyebrow at me. I quickly cleared my throat, "No sir, I'm actually here to ask you if I could leave earlier..."

"To meet with your date." He didn't question me but stated it as if assuming that he was right. I noticed that his jaw clenched.

"Um no...I'm actually going to visit your father's grave. It has already been a month." I responded, somewhat annoyed with his assumption.

"Oh," his expression had softened. He didn't know what to say after that so I took the opportunity to ask if he would like to come with me.

"I also wanted to ask if you would like to come with me."

Jiyonge looked taken aback with my question. I could see the turmoil in his eyes, wondering if it would be right thing to do. He continued to stare at me with those blank eyes. I sensed that he didn't want to decide or probably just didn't want to do it. I took a piece of paper out from my purse and wrote the cemetery's address and the location of Mr. Kwon's grave.

"If ever you change your mind." I slid the paper on his desk. He didn't accept it or anything. He just let it sit there, afraid that it would burn him. I gave him a reassuring smile and walked out of his office.

Before I headed to the cemetery, I went to a café and ordered myself some hot coffee and a strawberry tartlet. I filled my stomach with a little something to eat so I could stay longer and talk to Mr. Kwon.

I felt excited to see Mr. Kwon again. I had missed him every day and I always thought of him. I had a lot to talk about and it would feel just like the old times only I wouldn't be able to hear his hearty laugh, his words of wisdom and most especially seeing his smile again.

I didn't notice that I had already walked up to his grave. I smiled and laid out my coat on the grass as I sat myself comfortably in front of his gravestone. I began arranging the flowers I brought for him on the ground and cleaned some dried leaves that were littered around his surroundings.

"Hey old man," I started and took a deep breath. "I've missed you. The office isn't the same without you. Your lame jokes would have been useful by now. You know, to cheer me up."

I paused and just sat there as the tears were planning its escape from my eyes. "Thank you," I said in a hushed whisper.

"You're a sly old fart. You know that?" I chuckled at the same time I started crying. "I told you, I didn't need your help. I can take care of myself." I began to sob. He wasn't really fond of people rejecting his offer so whatever he could do to help, he would immediately take action.

"It means a lot but you really didn't have to."

I was silent for a moment, trying to hear the leaves rustle around me. "I won't let you down, I promise. I assure you that Jiyong is in good hands with me. He might not be as pleasant as you but we could work something out."

"I already met him and you never mentioned how good looking he was." I giggled then snuffled the snot that was clogging my nostrils. Real classy, Sandara.

I softly padded my fingertips onto his engraved name. This would be the only close encounter I would be having with him from now on. The cold stone just felt dead. There wasn't any life to it.

"Your son...he's a good man. I know it. I just wished you didn't cower away. It would have been difficult at first to establish their trust again yet in the end it would have all been worth the effort because family forgives. Your wife and Jiyong don't hate you. They just needed you to be there for them."

"I guess it's too late now..." I whispered, trying to contain my tears.

I was silent, unable to speak as I took my time to let Mr. Kwon know that I was here.

I could suddenly feel that someone was present behind me. I then heard his footsteps, crunching the leaves beneath his shoe sole. I immediately stood from my position and whipped around to see Jiyong leaning against a tree. His stance was relaxed and that he was looking at me in awe. It looked like that he had been standing there for quite some time and listened on to my conversation with Mr. Kwon. My eyes bulged from their sockets as I realized the things I had said.

"W-what are you doing here? How much did you hear?" I snapped at him, swiftly wiping off the tears from my face with the back of my hand. I wasn't supposed to react this way but I was already panicking.

He chuckled and gave me a smile that actually reached his eyes. "You gave me directions to my father's grave. I changed my mind so I came," he shrugged his shoulder.

"Right," that was all I could mutter. His smile was blinding. He had straight white teeth and gummy smile.

As I ogled him, I didn't know that he had already stood beside me. He towered over me as I noticed him looking at a far distance. He was silent for a minute until he asked, "How did he die?" He asked gently, more like a whisper.

I could feel that it pained him to ask me that question. I was lucky enough to have known Mr. Kwon and yet Jiyong was here, standing in front of his grave without any memory or relationship with his own father.

"Heart problem...died in his sleep. He overworked himself too much." I told him sadly. It was quiet for a while. I waited for him to say something but when I looked up, his eyes were closed.

"Did he ever talk about us?" He questioned.

"He always did." I smiled at the memory where Mr. Kwon had told me some of the stories about his beautiful wife. Also, those times where Jiyong was still a baby.

I heard him sigh as if trying to process the information. I wanted to ask what he was thinking about but I might just anger him.

I moved closer, only a few inches away and faced Jiyong. I stood there as I observed his calm posture. It was peaceful and his breathing was steady. I didn't know what I was doing but I felt that he probably needed it.

So, I hugged him.

I buried myself on his chest as his scent overpowered my senses. I felt him stiffen from my action. I planned on making it brief, just a friendly hug, since I didn't want to make it more awkward between us. I was about to pull away but then I felt his arms circle around me as he hugged me back.

We were just quiet, letting our hearts do the talking, instead of using our mouths to utter the words that couldn't be explained with what we were feeling then.

"I'm sorry," he whispered through my hair after the long silence. I looked up at him with a puzzled face on. He genuinely smiled and told me, "That night at the club, I told you things that I didn't mean. It was wrong of me to judge you without getting the chance to know you first. I'm really sorry."

I had waited for him to say those words and it was pointless to stay mad at him. I understood as to why he had acted the way he did. He was angry and lost. I just hope after this intimate moment that we shared right now, we could become frien