His name is Kim Hyun Joong.

Kim Jaejoong’s older brother.

The guy behind all this change in me.

The guy who melts my heart.

The only man I ever LOVE..

My greatest LOST..

Despite of our dongsaengs war, Hyun Joong and I became close. Closer than any man I ever met in this lifetime. Prince like personality and looks, academically achiever, responsible and caring, gentle and loving.. he’s just perfect. We share same interest, we share same believes, we share same thoughts and what makes me really happy is when we found out that we share the same feelings towards each other.

It was nearly 3 months since we started going out, but keeping everything’s a secret. We both agreed to it since we both think this will only fuel Jiyong’s and Jaejoong’s feud.  Until one day, Seunghyun came to me, looking so down and sad. Since I see these Kids as my own little brothers I invited Seunghyun to spend time with me out. We hang out, ate ice cream, and played arcade games. It was fun! But what makes my day happy is seeing Seunghyun having fun and worry free. The sun starts to set when we decide to sit on a nearby bench on a Park. This is the right time to ask what’s bothering him.

“Seunghyun, Is something bothering you?” I turned to face him. The smile on his face completely vanished as sadness replaced it instantly. I fully shifted my body facing him with worried face.

“Yah, Choi Seunghyun, speak-up. You can say everything to me. I’m your noona remember?” I think my words just worsen his sadness coz he turned more sadder..

“Noona” Seunghyun started. “My parents set me up on a fix marriage” My eyes went wide. I knew his problem was serious but WTH? THIS serious??? I was completely dumb folded!

“C-can’t you refuse?” I suggested or ask I also don’t know what to feel that time. The truth is I really don’t know what advice to give, I did not grew-up in this environment where Rich kids setting up to be married to another rich kid tradition. I was born as a commoner and I still am, sure I watched these scenarios on dramas but heck! This is no drama! This is Seunghyun’s life!

“S-Seunghyun, the truth..I don’t really know what to say..” I admitted with slump shoulders.

“I already knew this was coming, actually I already knew who the girl was”

I just found myself listening to Seunghyun as he continuesly looked straight, out of nowhere.

“Her name is Park Bom, she actually goes to the same university as ours”

My eyes widen upon hearing the girl’s name. Park Bom, The Park Bom! Who wouldn’t know her? She got my attention the first day I stepped on YG University, the pretty red haired girl who loathes Big Bang. If this is just the same scene I often watched on dramas I’ll definitely laugh to this matter. Popular Badass guy engage to a Beautiful bookworm who happens to hate him. This could make a cute story. But this is reality. This is something that can’t be laugh or joked at.

“I already knew about her being paired to me, I don’t really give a sh!t at first. I don’t really care..but now..” Seunghyun shifted his gaze towards me and I was shocked to see his eyes starts to water. Is he about to cry?

“Noona, I can’t accept my fate. I can’t accept it because I’m in love with someone”

SH!T!

Tears are now flowing on Seunghyun’s face. Ghawd! He is now crying! One of YG University’s Bad Boy is crying right at my very eyes! Seunghyun’s problem is really huge! I don’t know what to do so I just wrap my arms around him and let him cry on my shoulders. This is the only way I can think of soothing his pain right now.

“Noona” Seunghyun straighten up and faced me. “I want to run away”

“W-what?” Seunghyun is really full of surprises! Here I was not totally recovered on what he just shared with me, again, he is giving me something that my mind would really go haywire to solve.

“I want to run away. Please come with me, I LOVE YOU”

BOOM!

People don’t worry, there’s no bomb. It was just my brain overheated and finally gave up.

I stood there. I can feel my jaw kissing the ground as I stared at Seunghyun like he had grown tentacles on his body.

Wow!

He said something that can clearly shoo away my sanity. I felt his hands gently hold my hands and squeeze them as his eyes never left mines.

“I love you the moment you stood up on us. I love you more the moment we spend much time with each other. I cannot marry Park Bom, it’s you who I wanted to share my lifetime with”

When everything finally processed on my tiny brain, my initial reaction is to back away! Of course! He got it all wrong! He was so wrong!

“Seunghyun, you don’t understand..” I started, gulping and thinking how to say things lightly.

“You, and the rest of the gang..I-I never treated you more than anything..You were my brothers. My precious younger brothers” I watched as his eyes pained with the words I said. But I have to say my piece too. “You were my little brother, Seunghyun”

“NO!” Seunghyun angrily stood up and kicked the bench. I gasped as I watched him with horror. “You said, out of the five of us, you liked me most” Seunghyun looked at me with pleading eyes. “Please don’t do this. Please, say you love me too. I promised to fix things up with Park Bom. Just please, love me too..”

I was stunned. I don’t know how long I’ve been standing there and watching Seunghyun cried and pleaded. These things really gave me the ultimate shock of my life. How can I explain everything b