I didn't know what I did that triggered his boundary line but I became invisible to him that night.

We didn’t actually invite the rest of the EXO members for dinner even though we told them they could ‘come join us for dinner’. We went to a typical Korean restaurant, just like any of them that we saw in my country. The taste was unquestionably different from what we had back there. The food tasted like…… I don’t know, genuine? It was a very pleasurable fine dining and definitely not cheap as from what I saw on the bill.

The dinner was fine, except that I felt like an outsider. So much.

Have you ever had a meal with someone and they were solely interacting among themselves, totally regarding your presence as thin air, and you were just watching from aside, like you were watching a television show…… Yes, that was exactly how I felt. Watching my son and Baekhyun living their life happily like they were on a variety show. Like… Like they're the one who's a family and I'm the stranger who shared the same table with them ‘cause the restaurant was full.

To be honest, it was very bitter for me. The food was good; Definitely one of the best I've ever tasted this life, but it was somehow tasteless at some point. I don't even remember what we did after that. Did we go to Bukchon Hanok or did we go to the Gwangjang Market? Did he drive us back to the hotel or did we take a cab? What time did we get back to the hotel? How long had I been sitting in front of the dressing table, lost in my own thoughts? I wasn’t even aware that Jesper had been asking for me since…… since I don’t know when.

“Mommy?” he asked for the n-th time. “Mommy?” Jesper called again but I didn’t hear him. He ran out of the bathroom without any clothes on and took a towel to wrap himself up before drying himself and wearing his pyjamas. He, then, walked over to my side and tapped me, “Jia Jia?”

Jesper wouldn’t usually call me that, he only called me that when he felt the need to pop the bubble of the difference in seniority. Jia is the name only certain people would use on me, such as my family members and my closest friends. It meant intimacy to me.

“Jia Jia, are you okay?” Jesper asked again as he proceeded to hug me. I finally noticed him and turned around to look at him blankly. Then, I leaned closer to him and forced a small smile. “Are you okay?” he asked as he reached out to caress my face with his small little palm. I knew Jesper was having one of the best days in his life and I shouldn’t be the wet blanket to him. So, I tried my best to sound as cheerful as I could.

“Yes, piggy. Jia jia’s fine, just a little tired. Did you have a good day? What time did papa say to pick you up tomorrow? 8?” I pulled Jesper onto my lap as I asked. He observed me for a little while before he pouted and said while looking into my eyes with a serious face, “No, you’re not.”

I avoided the comment he made and repeated the question that he didn’t answer previously. “What time are you going out with papa tomorrow?” I didn’t look at Jesper when I asked him that question. I was scared of something. I didn’t know what. I just wanted to avoid the eye contact with him. His pout deepened.

“8,” he said, “tell me, please?”

“I really am fine, now, go to sleep, okay? You’ll have to wake up early tomorrow for another adventurous day with your daddy!” I said as I carried him to the bed and lay him down under the blanket. “Goodnight, honey.” I leaned down and gave him a goodnight kiss before going to the bathroom, giving Jesper no opportunity to even say anything.

I let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding and I quickly the shower tap and let myself drench under the running water. Maybe they fit better as a family. Maybe I’m just a passerby. Jesper would live a better life with him. He is so much richer than I am. He could afford Jesper’s education better than I could. Jesper is so much happier with him than when he’s with me. Thoughts like these were running in my head when I showered.

I was basically convinced that Jesper should stay with Baekhyun rather than suffering with me. Or maybe I should at least give him the chance to try living with Baekhyun and let him decide after.

How about Jesper stay with both of us? Like any normal families out there.

I stopped shampooing my hair when this hit me. Should we at least give each other a chance? I asked myself. But, does he want to give me that chance? Judging from the way he acted this evening, I wasn’t sure about this anymore. I almost believed we would be fine before this evening.

Ah, t